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Old 04-09-2010, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
475 posts, read 1,301,931 times
Reputation: 348

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I don't know but they **** me off.
Me too! I am a hard working high school teacher and I cannot afford to have a child. DH and I don't make enough to supply the child with food, lights, health insurance etc... We make to much to qualify for the handouts and we work so no kids for us, how backwards.

 
Old 04-09-2010, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Montgomery Village, MD
516 posts, read 1,371,855 times
Reputation: 234
I hate the whole "having kids is soooo expensive".. because honestly, it's not. It's only as expensive as someone chooses to make it.

I hear all sorts of insane numbers on how much it costs to raise a child, and I just laugh. Perhaps if you have to buy every toy on the market, designer diapers and all that stuff... but to simple raise a well adjusted kid? Nope. Doesn't cost a whole lot.

Sadly, so many in this nation have to spend, spend, spend....
 
Old 04-09-2010, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Montgomery Village, MD
516 posts, read 1,371,855 times
Reputation: 234
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamom1 View Post
I think it is because it is not "taboo" anymore. We as a society have become accepting of everything. Teenagers who get pregnant are no longer an "embarassment" to the family and sent to "live with relatives" until the baby is born and given up for adoption. Now these girls are given baby showers/gifts, everyone oohs and aahs over the new baby.

As far as people on welfare with lots of kids, it is the same thing. They have no shame in taking hand-outs. It is the norm for them. If they grew up in the same kind of family, then they know no other lifestyle.

I understand a family who has a hard time and needs to turn to welfare to get buy for a couple of months, but those are not the people who are having more kids.

I was a 'teen mom' (I was 19 when I had my first kiddo) and I certainly had the embarrassment of my family. My dad didn't talk to me for a period of time.. etc. The town I grew up in I would get stopped all the time to be asked if I knew who the dad was, etc... even though I was engaged!
 
Old 04-09-2010, 08:55 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,499,949 times
Reputation: 22471
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaecho View Post
I hate the whole "having kids is soooo expensive".. because honestly, it's not. It's only as expensive as someone chooses to make it.

I hear all sorts of insane numbers on how much it costs to raise a child, and I just laugh. Perhaps if you have to buy every toy on the market, designer diapers and all that stuff... but to simple raise a well adjusted kid? Nope. Doesn't cost a whole lot.

Sadly, so many in this nation have to spend, spend, spend....
It depends. Just a box of diapers is pretty expensive. And how can a single young mother afford the cost of daycare if she were to ever think about working to support herself and child?

Having kids might not be expensive to those who have a lot of help from relatives and certainly a husband and wife can juggle shifts when both work.
 
Old 04-09-2010, 09:52 PM
 
12,671 posts, read 23,736,817 times
Reputation: 2665
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
But they do.

Welfare mothers know full well having babies GETS them a nice enough living, they know they'll be given free housing, food stamps, WIC, will not have any kind of hospital or medical bills. Plus no one will expect them to work for a living. They aren't so stupid that they thought they were going to have to pay something but went ahead and had babies and then were pleasantly surprised to find out it not only doesn't cost them a thing but brings in considerable government handouts.

A working middle class couple knows full well that when they have a baby, it's going to cost them plenty.
How long can you be on Welfare?
 
Old 04-09-2010, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Montgomery Village, MD
516 posts, read 1,371,855 times
Reputation: 234
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
It depends. Just a box of diapers is pretty expensive. And how can a single young mother afford the cost of daycare if she were to ever think about working to support herself and child?

Having kids might not be expensive to those who have a lot of help from relatives and certainly a husband and wife can juggle shifts when both work.
A bag of diapers at Target (target brand, mind you) costs 6.XX..
A box of diapers at Target costs 13.XX plus they will send you coupons as well.

I mean, that's not all that much. On top of that, there's also the option of cloth diapering. You can cloth diaper very inexpensively as well.

I'm not saying there's NO cost for children, just that the overinflated numbers make my head spin.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't get help if they need it at all, I'm just saying children aren't as expensive as many things we do.. I mean, for me, two coffees a week would pay for diapers.. priorities.. ya know?
 
Old 04-09-2010, 10:40 PM
 
541 posts, read 1,335,771 times
Reputation: 331
mama echo..come on..a child is not expensive!!!!!!do you think that diapers is everything???..18 years...and more...!!!!this child will grow,will need thsi and that..what about a good place to live,a good education,later college,a good health care and so on...add this all together and tell me a child is not expensive!!bull****!!..
there is one thing i can not stand at a woman... live in the dark..sorry to tell that...but to make such a statement is just stupid..chidlren does not cost too much..it shows you have no clue,but none..it shows you are not educated,yo did not informe yourself before open your mouth..and it also shows,that you have no clue,what will expect you and this is the sadest part..

there are many informations in net about the cost of a child,you shoudl open your narrow horizonte and get informed...:

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/02/24...raise-a-child/

i totally condamne young women like you,who put their chidlren on the neck of the parents..you have no reason to be proude of yourself,your father had all teh right to be mad..you should have been focused on school and your education,not getting pregnante (getting pregnante is not such a big deal,growing a baby many years is a huge one...),in an age (19)when you can not afford too much,not to talk from a child...
a chidl is a huge financial responsability,especially in usa...in germany every mother gets around 600 euro a month (2,3 years),no welfare,support from state,many european countries offer 80 percent of the netto salaries the mother had,just to encourage natality..in germnay chidlren get child money form state till 18 or older...university is free and much more...

hier having a child is something very big financially,especially in this hard times in usa...women should act responsable and take care to prevent pregnancy,act smart ...education first,then babies...you do not put children in the world on soembody's else neck...like parents,relatives,state and so on...make kids when you afford them...are you financially independant now?did you get a good education?do you have a succesful job??...i am not so sure,your answer is yes...and if, only with the help of parents or a man imaginable..what i would expect,you have more then one child,although you can not afford them...

you answer also the question of this post:why do they have kids,they can not afford..tehre is only one answer to this..because they live in teh dark!!...

Last edited by Buburuza13; 04-09-2010 at 10:55 PM..
 
Old 04-09-2010, 10:54 PM
 
Location: Montgomery Village, MD
516 posts, read 1,371,855 times
Reputation: 234
Spell check is nice a nice feature..

Anyway,
No, I know diapers aren't everything. It's just an example where many people go out and buy the most expensive item, when other brands work just as well. Almost anything you do in life has a low price, a medium price, and a high price. Some choose to buy the high price and complain it's too high, or purchase the high priced item because it 'seems' better to others. If you do that, then sure having a child is very expensive. Somehow though, years and years ago, children were raised on very little money...I did and do what I can to save money. My husband always jokes if we won the lottery I would still shop for sales and use coupons... just how I work.

Secondly, you "condamne" me. I'm not sure what that means exactly, I'm guessing "condemn" but I don't understand what "put their chidlren on the neck of the parents"... and "you have no reason to be proude of yourself"...? My dad did get upset. I didn't say he didn't have a right to. In fact, I'm glad he was upset, as it shows he cared. But, I didn't say that to condemn my dad (who I love very much) but to show that not ALL teen mothers have it on easy street where everyone thinks so positively about the experience. I wasn't supported in the beginning of my pregnancy. Thankfully everyone came around when they realized what an awesome parent I am

Secondly, I went to school while I was pregnant, got on the Dean's list (full time student, might I add)... had no issue there, and would have no issue if I went back. I chose not to go back because I didn't like what I was majoring in and needed time to be a mom.

Ahh, I see you are German. That explains the grammar and spelling...

When did I say I wasn't financially independent? I'm not sure where I said that? But yes, I am... thanks for asking (???) I'm married, I have two children, I'm a stay at home mom.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:58 AM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,191,148 times
Reputation: 16664
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickchick2000 View Post
Me too! I am a hard working high school teacher and I cannot afford to have a child. DH and I don't make enough to supply the child with food, lights, health insurance etc... We make to much to qualify for the handouts and we work so no kids for us, how backwards.

Health insurance I can see. But food? Babies don't eat much and BFing costs nothing. Lights? It costs no more to light a home for 3 people vs. 2.

I agree with another poster - kids aren't nearly as expensive as some would lead us to believe.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 09:16 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,678,118 times
Reputation: 2194
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickchick2000 View Post
Me too! I am a hard working high school teacher and I cannot afford to have a child. DH and I don't make enough to supply the child with food, lights, health insurance etc... We make to much to qualify for the handouts and we work so no kids for us, how backwards.
Babies don't eat that much, honestly. Lights? How do babies raise the light bill? They don't go around turning lights on around the house. Health insurance? Most people have a baby added to their policies, and teachers, for the most part, have GOOD insurance coverage.

Maintaining a baby is not much extra to the expense of the parents, and being a teacher, your time would be minimal for child care needs.

For some reason you are looking for excuses to not have children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaecho View Post
I hate the whole "having kids is soooo expensive".. because honestly, it's not. It's only as expensive as someone chooses to make it.

I hear all sorts of insane numbers on how much it costs to raise a child, and I just laugh. Perhaps if you have to buy every toy on the market, designer diapers and all that stuff... but to simple raise a well adjusted kid? Nope. Doesn't cost a whole lot.

Sadly, so many in this nation have to spend, spend, spend....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Health insurance I can see. But food? Babies don't eat much and BFing costs nothing. Lights? It costs no more to light a home for 3 people vs. 2.

I agree with another poster - kids aren't nearly as expensive as some would lead us to believe.
I agree.
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