Saying "Sir or Mam" When Speaking to Adults (behavior, younger)
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The problem arises when people get in a huff and make comments about other people not being respectful for *not* using those honorifics or when they make some comment that they use those words because THEY were "raised right". Or my personal favorite, "It's better than saying 'hey you,' " as if that's the singular alternative to "excuse me ma'am".
I agree with you. It DOES seem to be a regional thing, and about how one was raised. If we're raised to say sir and ma'am, we will likely say it til we die.
I haven't prompted them to say "sir" or "ma'am" in YEARS, and they still do it by choice. They also are really good at meeting people "where they're at," though, and will assess a situation and speak to people as they wish to be addressed.
I like living in a region where this kind of respectful behavior is appreciated and not denigrated, and I cannot imagine being the kind of person who would be offended at being addressed with respect. Ridiculing others for doing something out of kindness only proves my point, so thanks for making it easy.
Could it possibly be less of a choice and more of a natural habit at this point?
Any sincere show of respect to another person -of any age- is never rude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
Rude of who? I think you need to check the definition of "rude".
I actually kind of get what she means. If someone is say in their 30s and someone is in their 40s, "ma'am"ing them all the time would be a constant reminder that they are older. That is not respectful, especially not if you are in a professional or social setting, and might even be considered rude.
I actually kind of get what she means. If someone is say in their 30s and someone is in their 40s, "ma'am"ing them all the time would be a constant reminder that they are older. That is not respectful, especially not if you are in a professional or social setting, and might even be considered rude.
She said nothing about ma'am-ing them all the time. That would be awkward in any event. I stand by my statement that any sincere show of respect is not rude. Intent is paramount when discussing politeness and rudeness. Obsequiousness is rarely sincere.
Last edited by maciesmom; 05-22-2018 at 07:48 PM..
I actually kind of get what she means. If someone is say in their 30s and someone is in their 40s, "ma'am"ing them all the time would be a constant reminder that they are older. That is not respectful, especially not if you are in a professional or social setting, and might even be considered rude.
Ma'am is not an address restricted by age, any more than sir is, at least once the recipient has reached adulthood. And the terms are widely used, and accepted, in a professional setting in the south. Personally, I far prefer to be called ma'am over "sweetie", "honey" or "dear" (also widely heard here).
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
She said nothing about ma'am-ing them all the time. That would be awkward in any event. I stand by my statement that any sincere show of respect is not rude. Intent is paramount when discussing politeness and rudeness. Obsequiousness is rarely sincere.
I think if you call your elders Ma'am or Sir it shows some respect
I am going to admit that I think it sounds old fashioned. My kids turned out fine, thank you very much. They do say please and thank you. But I never expected them to call me ma’am.
But I raised my kids in the Midwest, not in the South.
And I never had trouble getting my kids to respect me.
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