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Old 04-12-2010, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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There have always been selfish and entitled people. There still are some - I'd venture to guess that some of them use "sir" and ma'am....One could take the opposite tack - society is different - but it's not all bad. There were some horrible social injustices that took place in those "good old days" when "everyone" used sir or ma'am.
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Old 04-12-2010, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 10,905,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
Really? You would be hurt because a child was perhaps following what their parents taught them.
Well, I'd be hurt that the parents wouldn't let them call me what I was comfortable with (within reason--I'm not asking to be called "sweetie pie"!). I have no qualms against the child doing as they are told, obviously.
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Old 04-12-2010, 05:05 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,574 posts, read 45,995,839 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Well, I'd be hurt that the parents wouldn't let them call me what I was comfortable with (within reason--I'm not asking to be called "sweetie pie"!). I have no qualms against the child doing as they are told, obviously.
Life is way too short. Just be happy they aren't calling you something bad.
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Old 04-12-2010, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,093,868 times
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Originally Posted by kodaka View Post
Actually everywhere I've lived, 'sir' and 'ma'am' are taken as sassy. Because these terms are only used when someone is throwing around their rank or authority (like a boss being a jerk just for the sake of reminding everyone that he is the boss).

Except in the south, a kid would likely be sent to the principal's office for saying 'yes ma'am'.
That's just sad. Where being polite is satire and mockery.
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Old 04-12-2010, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,093,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
There have always been selfish and entitled people. There still are some - I'd venture to guess that some of them use "sir" and ma'am....One could take the opposite tack - society is different - but it's not all bad. There were some horrible social injustices that took place in those "good old days" when "everyone" used sir or ma'am.
Yeah. It was all because or had something to do with people using sir and ma'am.
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Old 04-12-2010, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,350,466 times
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Where did you get the idea I said it was a causal relationship? I didn't. In fact, I specifically said they were unrelated. If simply saying ma'am and sir were indicative of society's "good" character rather than "bad character" you have to look at society on the whole. Just saying ma'am and sir don't make a person good .... or bad. It's simply a regional custom. Nothing wrong with that at all.

I'd guess, simply by his age, Mr. Madoff grew up calling his elders Mr and Mrs.....yet, despite that, he is one of the most "entitled" people around.....There's a whole lot of folks who wish his parents had taken the opportunity to teach him some REAL respect.

Last edited by maciesmom; 04-12-2010 at 05:43 PM..
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Old 04-12-2010, 06:18 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,015,546 times
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Originally Posted by cc0789 View Post
...they cannot be "peers" with adults, for respect issues AND safety issues.
Frankly, I think more trouble ensues when adults forget that they cannot be peers with children.
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Old 04-12-2010, 06:22 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 2,362,555 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Frankly, I think more trouble ensues when adults forget that they cannot be peers with children.
I don't tend to go around dictating how random adults should behave, I do, however, have control of how my children behave.
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Old 04-12-2010, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,067 posts, read 83,928,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
I am surprised by how many people automatically equate how a child identifies an adult with respect.
That may be how all the rules started in the first place. The adults wanted the respect they felt entitled to in light of their adultness, so they made up titles that the children were to call them to show that respect. This did not necessarily mean the children actually respected them; however, it satisfied the need for the illusion.

It also mitigated any threat that Mom and Dad might be cut out of Aunt Ethel's will if their child called her Bulldog Face.
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Old 04-12-2010, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,067 posts, read 83,928,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I agree that your children should follow your wishes and any adult should not insist that a child should go against their parents' wishes. I am curious though (since you are so strong on what is correct and what is not), then at what point did it become acceptable for you to discuss "Suzie" using her first name? I would think you'd be calling her Mrs. Smith when referring to her in the third person or in a social setting and only Suzie in a private, more intimate setting. When did that become the norm?

To clarify...at one time, this would have been the only polite way for neighbors to talk: "Good morning Mrs. Jones! I was just noticing how lovely the tulips are between my driveway and Mrs. Smith's driveway. Don't you agree?" Regardless of how close your acquaintence was with either Mrs. Jones or Mrs. Smith. Instead you're more likely to hear "Hi Amanda! Aren't the tulips between my driveway and Suzie's gorgeous?" And "Hi" instead of "hello" or "good morning"? At one time, all of that would have been considered less than perfectly polite.

I'm asking a serious question. In bygone days and societies, that was the norm and referring to a person by their given name was inappropriate....at some point that changed. Why is that change acceptable yet other change is not acceptable? Just food for thought. We all tend to think that how we were brought up or how one specific culture behaves at any given point in history, is "correct"....society and manners do change...sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse and sometimes they just change....
That wasn't that long ago, relatively speaking. I remember an episode of I Love Lucy where this new neighbor comes over and while the conversation is going on, it's Mrs. Ricardo, Mrs. Mertz, and Mrs. Whoever.

A little further back and south, Scarlett's parents in both the book and the movie address each other as Mr. and Mrs. O'Hara.

These are fictional settings, of course, but they do reflect the custom of their times and places.
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