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Old 04-13-2010, 06:44 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
18,372 posts, read 31,488,046 times
Reputation: 27809

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka View Post
Yeah, expecting an adult who is old enough to commit to spending their entire life with one other person to also be mature enough to handle their own household and live within their means is.....mean.

"Adulthood" is not where you live but having the critical reasoning and problem solving skills to navigate life without help. So long as parents continue to handle all these challenges, their kids aren't truly enjoying adulthood. They are just enjoying childhood with a bigger allowance and a later curfew.

What I meant by "mean" was throwing an 18 year old out of the house.
Just because a child turns 18 doesn't mean they have to leave.
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Old 04-13-2010, 04:31 PM
 
69 posts, read 225,017 times
Reputation: 65
I'm going to move out when I get married. I am 19.
I have no reason to move out I have everything at home, my parents are not nosy and I don't have to pay rent.
I would be crazy to move out.
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Old 04-13-2010, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
17,531 posts, read 24,624,539 times
Reputation: 9975
Whenever they know better than me, what is good for them
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Old 04-13-2010, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
18,372 posts, read 31,488,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCroatian View Post
I'm going to move out when I get married. I am 19.
I have no reason to move out I have everything at home, my parents are not nosy and I don't have to pay rent.
I would be crazy to move out.
Good for you, and I did the same thing. You are totally smart.My Parents were not nosey either.
I had a full time job, gave them, as Mom put it "board" money.....me and my sister at the time thought it was horrible, but it taught us the value of a dollar. But Mom was really good, she saved it all and when me and my sister got married she gave us back all out Board money....yay !

and I plan on doing the same thing for my sons as well.
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Old 04-13-2010, 05:34 PM
 
Location: 48205
380 posts, read 689,935 times
Reputation: 326
30!
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Atlanta,GA
2,685 posts, read 6,406,338 times
Reputation: 1232
All great and sensible posts!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
18 years old is ridiculous. How on earth can an 18 year old support himself. That, I think is just mean. I have no limit on my boy's, they can live at home as long as they want. I like it now that they work and are able to build up their bank accounts. One son is engaged so obviously saving money is more important to him than living on his own. They are all college graduates now so once they are really making good money I am sure they will all want to go out on their own be it single or married.....

But as a parent, I could never in a million years think to tell my sons that at age (whatever) you have to move out. My parents did not do that to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by icibiu View Post
As soon as they are old enough to:

1) Have a job that allows them to support themselves and do not want to contribute that income to their parents homes
or

2)Have stopped taking steps to improve their future situation.

What I mean by this is that if you are 23 years old living at home and have a good job but do not give your parents some form of financial assistance (rent, pay the electric, cable bill, groceries SOMETHING), it's time to go out in the world and realize what it takes to run a household. I know some parents "would never dream of charging their children", but I honestly feel this is a disservice to your children. Life is not free and if you have an adult child living with you they should be contributing, even if just to start learning how to budget themselves and to understand that if you live with someone you have to help out. If you are really that well off financially that you do not need your childrens money I still believe you should collect their money and gift it back to them when they move out (pay for the wedding, add to the house down payment, etc).

In my other "requisite" for kids moving out, if a child is living at home so they can go to school or save for a house then that's OK, no matter the age. But a 22 yr old living at home not going to school or saving for a particular goal, just so he can have more money to party? Or drive a lexus? Or just plain old too lazy to bother growing up? Time to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Depends on the kid. I have one that left at 18 and never looked back, and one that is making a second attempt at 23 after realizing at 19 that she wasn't quite ready to do it on her own. Same household, same upbringing for both, the biggest factor IMO is personality, with the shy retiring kid having a more difficult transition to complete independence.
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Old 04-14-2010, 05:11 AM
 
2,713 posts, read 5,343,214 times
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I think you have to separate "move out" from "on your own." One a person hits 18, if they are going to remain living at home, I think the dynamic needs to change a bit.

A young person can live at home after age 18 and get their feet wet as to what being on their own is like by having to do their own laundry, pay rent to parents (even if a token amount), keep their own checkbook to pay credit cards, car insurance and what have you. That could be a good bridge for them so when they leave home they are not surprised that doing laundry and cooking and paying bills are chores that can sometimes be a pain in the behind when you just want to chill out.

I think it's something of a disservice to kids if a parent allows their adult children to live at home but keeps the family dynamic the same as it was when they were much younger: i.e., making their bed, doing their laundry, not charge them some token amount of rent, and doing everything for them instead of letting them get used to doing for themselves. Once they get used to doing for themselves, the transition when they do move out is a lot easier.
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Old 04-14-2010, 05:15 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,296,868 times
Reputation: 1576
18 if they aren't going to college. If they are going to college, when they graduate from college.
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Old 04-14-2010, 02:54 PM
 
Location: California
37,067 posts, read 42,032,683 times
Reputation: 34878
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsong64 View Post
18 if they aren't going to college. If they are going to college, when they graduate from college.
My son turned 18 the first month of his Senior year in high school. Immediately after high school there was no job waiting for him that paid enough for him to move out and support himself. So, IMO, this answer is bogus.
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Old 04-14-2010, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,147,953 times
Reputation: 73916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
When they are either married or finished with schooling and gainfully employed.

My oldest is 24, and returned home after going away to college so he could pursue a master's degree. We pay for 4 years of college, anything after that they have to finance. He is working, and paying for his degree as he earns it. We have plenty of room, and no reason to ask him to leave.

We enjoy our kids, and as long as they are working towards their dreams, we will support their efforts.
I agree. And if they are at home, they should be gainfully employed or schooling and contributing to the household.
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