At what age do you think a kid should move out on their own? (teenager, toys)
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no, I mean how would YOU the parent "prepare" your child to be ready to be "well established" by the time they are 18-20, and what if they aren't ready?
You start when they are little and teach them to think and behave independently and responsibly, giving them more and more responsibility for themselves and others as they grow. Never give them everything they want, allow them to go without frills (video games, electronics, name brand clothing) except for Christmas or birthdays, then don't go overboard. No matter how much money you have, the kids did not earn it, you did. Kids should grow up learning how to earn. There should be no sense of entitlement.
We could give our kids a whole lot more, but then, what would they learn? They always earned what they wanted above necessities and resonable gifts for holidays. They have always been very happy, well adjusted and competent.
You start when they are little and teach them to think and behave independently and responsibly, giving them more and more responsibility for themselves and others as they grow. Never give them everything they want, allow them to go without frills (video games, electronics, name brand clothing) except for Christmas or birthdays, then don't go overboard. No matter how much money you have, the kids did not earn it, you did. Kids should grow up learning how to earn. There should be no sense of entitlement.
We could give our kids a whole lot more, but then, what would they learn? They always earned what they wanted above necessities and resonable gifts for holidays. They have always been very happy, well adjusted and competent.
I'm glad you're not my parent. I have one son who we cannot afford to spoil (we don't want to, either) but you sound like a tight (cheap) person. I love your unrealistic bragging. I guess you have super kids...not normal ones...Everyone has flaws. Most kids WANT items and don't want to work for them. Admit it, be honest, they whine a little when asked to do chores or homework. It's okay to be normal.
I'm glad you're not my parent. I have one son who we cannot afford to spoil (we don't want to, either) but you sound like a tight (cheap) person. I love your unrealistic bragging. I guess you have super kids...not normal ones...
So very normal. I've never had any complaints. Ask anybody who knows me, I'm not cheap or tight either.
But then, I don't have kids who expect and want everything on the market. They aren't arrogant or self centered. The youngest is a trial sometimes, but she's a good girl and excited about her future.
I agree with you.
I say **** you if people don't like the way I live my life. If my son wants to stay home till 30, why should anyone else care? Some people actually GET ALONG with their offspring. Then you have some who just want to toss out the kids at 18 because they are tired of parenting or worry the neighbors will think Junior is a weirdo because he isn't in his own place.
I'd consider it an honor he felt comfortable and want to stay with us. Okay, he's just a kid now but in the future..who knows..?
I don't feel like it's anyone's business but mine, his and his father's.
I hear ya!
Do you know, in some cultures, like Italy, young unmarried men don't leave home until they find a wife, even if they are 30 years old?
It may seem "odd" to some of us, but it works for them and their way of life - so more power to them and the close knit families they enjoy there.
Insisting that a child be dumped from their home simply because they have turned 18 is a very rigid, harsh point of view.
In reality, there can be no one hard and fast rule on this subject...every family is different with different dynamics and different priorities.
I just feel sorry for kids whose parents don't make their future success their priority.
In fact, parents who kick their kids to the curb before they have a chance to get themselves a bit established are usually making the young persons life much harder by causing them to incur more debt than necessary.
In our family, we don't believe in carrying debt and we have taught our kids this. If you use your credit card, you pay it off the next month. I will not have my kids being a slave to high interest raping rates and ruined credit scores. When they are ready to purchase their first homes they will have stellar credit and get the best possible interest rates because of it. Some people believe in just letting their kids figure all this stuff out thru trial and error, which sometimes means they have to learn very expensive lessons. To each his own!
So very normal. I've never had any complaints. Ask anybody who knows me, I'm not cheap or tight either.
But then, I don't have kids who expect and want everything on the market. They aren't arrogant or self centered. The youngest is a trial sometimes, but she's a good girl and excited about her future.
I admire you for trying to raise them without entitlement. I am personally against a kid having a tv in his room at age 4, a dvd player of his own at 5, a personal computer of his own at 7 and so forth. I know we were adults before we had these things.
However, once in awhile, it is okay to splurge and surprise your child. This is just my opinion. Again, everyone is free to raise his or her child how they see fit.
I moved out from my parents when I was 19. I then moved to my aunts due to location a few months after and lived there til I was 22. So, I've been living on my own since 22. My parents helped me with rent but I paid the majority of it. I'm 24 now and they haven't been paying any of my bills. Part of me wishes I lived at home a bit more than I did because I would have had alot more money saved up but I couldn't live with them now. I'd feel like such a loser. My parents seriously wouldn't care one bit if I still lived with them. In fact, they didn't want me to move out so I could save money but I did.
With the crappy economy, its hard for people my age to move out now. Entry level positions do not pay enough to live on your own without a roommate, can't get one in every situation. Most of my friends still live at home. I'd say they will move out in another 2 years so they will be around 26.
If I were a parent, it really depends on why they are still home. If my child was a lazy ass doing lots of nothing, I'd say 21 is the max. They had 3 years to slack off and figure things out. If they are going to school full-time, live at home til they are done. If they are going to school full-time and work part-time, I'd say a year or so after they finish school. Basically, if they are doing something with their lives I will help them but I see if they aren't doing anything, I would be the reason why they are getting away with being lazy.
This guy at my work is 32 and still lives at home. He goes on a crazy trip once a year to like Spain or something. I guess hes just waiting for his parents to die to take over the house...dude is kinda creppy as well.
You start when they are little and teach them to think and behave independently and responsibly, giving them more and more responsibility for themselves and others as they grow. Never give them everything they want, allow them to go without frills (video games, electronics, name brand clothing) except for Christmas or birthdays, then don't go overboard. No matter how much money you have, the kids did not earn it, you did. Kids should grow up learning how to earn. There should be no sense of entitlement.
We could give our kids a whole lot more, but then, what would they learn? They always earned what they wanted above necessities and resonable gifts for holidays. They have always been very happy, well adjusted and competent.
I am doing all of that. I still wouldn't expect what you do. It is possible in SOME situations, but not ALL situations, for ALL kids. That's all anyone is saying. Even if you do everything you posted, that is no guarantee that your child will be able to earn enough between the ages of 18-20 to pay for EVERYTHING. If they work that much, then they might not be able to go to school. If they are going to school, they obviously have the intention of earning a good living and being on their own in a few years. Why not HELP them attain that instead of sabotaging their effort?
Do you know, in some cultures, like Italy, young unmarried men don't leave home until they find a wife, even if they are 30 years old?
It may seem "odd" to some of us, but it works for them and their way of life - so more power to them and the close knit families they enjoy there.
Insisting that a child be dumped from their home simply because they have turned 18 is a very rigid, harsh point of view.
In reality, there can be no one hard and fast rule on this subject...every family is different with different dynamics and different priorities.
I just feel sorry for kids whose parents don't make their future success their priority.
In fact, parents who kick their kids to the curb before they have a chance to get themselves a bit established are usually making the young persons life much harder by causing them to incur more debt than necessary.
In our family, we don't believe in carrying debt and we have taught our kids this. If you use your credit card, you pay it off the next month. I will not have my kids being a slave to high interest raping rates and ruined credit scores. When they are ready to purchase their first homes they will have stellar credit and get the best possible interest rates because of it. Some people believe in just letting their kids figure all this stuff out thru trial and error, which sometimes means they have to learn very expensive lessons. To each his own!
I was going to point that out - some people think living at home until you get married is the "right" way to do things. My parents probably would have been happy to have me until I got married at 25. My mom is old fashioned that way.
Again, there is lots of grey between being "entitled" and being completely self sufficient by 18 or 20 or whatever. My DD is 19, in college full time (on an academic scholarship and taking out loans - that covers her tuition/books), working 2 jobs (which cover food and some of her living expenses); we are paying her rent, cell phone and insurance (car and health). She is grateful for any help. She works hard and does not feel entitled to anything we are able to help with, nor do I feel we are "enabling" her to a life of feeling she can mooch off us as long as possible. I just hope she can find a job once she graduates. A job in her field would be great but any job will be needed because those student loans do actually come due.
...Moving out and being able to support themselves without help from their parents at all.
What age do you think most kids do this?
I think 22 is a good age to be independent and have your own pad. Your out of college and for the most part having an apartment is an ideal way to start off one's young adult life.
Any input is great.
Thx.
I agree with what most people have said. I am an example as well. The day I graduated high school I moved out to my friends house for 8 months. Then I moved back home for a year. After, I moved into my own apartment from 19-22 then moved back home for another year. THEN I moved to a house with friends for another year until we were evicted and I had to move back home. Now i'm back out of the house and since I was 25. I say, the only way I was able to live out of the house was when I had a stable job. And that, my friend, varies greatly.
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