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Old 06-30-2010, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Say-Town! Texas
968 posts, read 2,611,708 times
Reputation: 567

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Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
I still don't see the point in hitting kids. There are ways of disciplining without using physical force.
so how would you punish the kid in the youtube videos who took a bat to his truck that his parents gave him?

lemme put it to you this way, my parents got me an SUV when i was 17, well i decided to back into the garage (stupid idea) i took out the back wall. my dad came at me with a belt. i was genuinely afraid he was going to belt me. he didn't (i was too old). but if this kid had any fear of his parents, he wouldn't make as many stupid decisions. and due to that, i didn't park the truck on the front lawn. i didn't know i'd get a ticket for parking on the grass, but i knew my dad would come at me with a belt if i did.

sometimes kids don't know the real consequences to their actions, and their parents discipline is the only thing helping them make the right decisions.
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Old 06-30-2010, 08:57 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,931 posts, read 15,746,539 times
Reputation: 4425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orincarnia View Post
so how would you punish the kid in the youtube videos who took a bat to his truck that his parents gave him?

lemme put it to you this way, my parents got me an SUV when i was 17, well i decided to back into the garage (stupid idea) i took out the back wall. my dad came at me with a belt. i was genuinely afraid he was going to belt me. he didn't (i was too old). but if this kid had any fear of his parents, he wouldn't make as many stupid decisions. and due to that, i didn't park the truck on the front lawn. i didn't know i'd get a ticket for parking on the grass, but i knew my dad would come at me with a belt if i did.

sometimes kids don't know the real consequences to their actions, and their parents discipline is the only thing helping them make the right decisions.
Even most spanking advocates will tell you that spanking is ineffective by the time the kid is a teenager. Honestly, if a kid did that in spite of being handed a new vehicle by his parents, then there are some serious problems in that family that run a lot deeper than the kid needing a spanking. Professional help is needed there.

And your dad came at you with a belt for a stupid driving accident? What kid didn't smack up their car or their parents car when they were a teenager? Its not as if you did it on purpose. At that age, making the kid financially responsible or helping to fix the damage would be a more appropriate punishment....or revoking their driving priveleges.

One thing I'm in total agreement with on the parents who do spank is that discipline in NECESSARY. There must be boundaries and consequences. Personally, I just don't see the need to use physical force.
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Say-Town! Texas
968 posts, read 2,611,708 times
Reputation: 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
Even most spanking advocates will tell you that spanking is ineffective by the time the kid is a teenager. Honestly, if a kid did that in spite of being handed a new vehicle by his parents, then there are some serious problems in that family that run a lot deeper than the kid needing a spanking. Professional help is needed there.

And your dad came at you with a belt for a stupid driving accident? What kid didn't smack up their car or their parents car when they were a teenager? Its not as if you did it on purpose. At that age, making the kid financially responsible or helping to fix the damage would be a more appropriate punishment....or revoking their driving priveleges.

One thing I'm in total agreement with on the parents who do spank is that discipline in NECESSARY. There must be boundaries and consequences. Personally, I just don't see the need to use physical force.
are you serious?

yeah maybe if they spanked him at an earlier age he wouldn't be acting like this now. he was that kid that got whatever he wanted when he screamed.

thank you for completely missing my point.
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:31 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,672,897 times
Reputation: 2194
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
Even most spanking advocates will tell you that spanking is ineffective by the time the kid is a teenager.
yadda, yadda, yadda
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies
Honestly, if a kid did that in spite of being handed a new vehicle by his parents, then there are some serious problems in that family that run a lot deeper than the kid needing a spanking. Professional help is needed there.
Here we go AGAIN with useless 'professional help'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies
And your dad came at you with a belt for a stupid driving accident? What kid didn't smack up their car or their parents car when they were a teenager? Its not as if you did it on purpose. At that age, making the kid financially responsible or helping to fix the damage would be a more appropriate punishment....or revoking their driving priveleges.
I'll bet it didn't happen a second time. Lesson learned, quickly and effectively.
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies
One thing I'm in total agreement with on the parents who do spank is that discipline in NECESSARY. There must be boundaries and consequences. Personally, I just don't see the need to use physical force.
Sometimes it's called for.
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:51 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,931 posts, read 15,746,539 times
Reputation: 4425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orincarnia View Post

yeah maybe if they spanked him at an earlier age he wouldn't be acting like this now. he was that kid that got whatever he wanted when he screamed.
A kid can be a kid who DOES NOT get spoiled and get whatever he wants without being hit. I don't see how the two are mutually exclusive....you people who support hitting kids somehow think the only other option besides spanking is to completely spoil the kid rotten and let him do whatever he wants without consequences.


Maybe if the kid had some parenting in his life, with some teaching and consequences for poor behavior, and maybe spent some time with the kid, this would not have happened. It doesn't necessarily have to include spanking. This situation with the kid who took a baseball bat to a car given to him sounds to me like parents who were too busy with their "careers" and keeping up with the Joneses to actually be parents, so they soothed their guilt by just spoiling the kid rotten with material things.
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Old 06-30-2010, 12:04 PM
 
2,725 posts, read 5,172,043 times
Reputation: 1963
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Here we go AGAIN with useless 'professional help'.
I run the risk of you saying "yadda, yadda, yadda" but I am going to try.

I think the reason that professional help is often called for is because families who manage to raise children like the ones on the videos need to be told what they are doing wrong. This is no different than telling a child when they did wrong.

I see a connection with the comment "but ________ is influencing my children" insert society, school, day care, tv, music. These parents have a hard time taking responsibility for their actions or inactions. In this case, they are not putting the blame for their child's behavior where it needs to be. They are blaming somebody else.

These children grow up thinking they are not in control of their behavior and therefore, blame somebody else like "Mommy took away my phone! Its her fault my phone was taken away." Then he goes out of control because this is how he gets his phone back from his terrified mother. The mother is influenced by her child's behavior. She lets him control her especially when they are bigger.

It is a LEARNED behavior which needs to be stopped by somebody pointing it out to them. Spanking to stop the behavior doesn't work for these families because they are doing it out of anger or fear which they blame on their kids. The say things like "you made me do this" instead of "I am spanking you because what you did was wrong. However, I still love you and will give you a chance to correct your behavior." That is why I said, not all spanking is created equal.

Last edited by crisan; 06-30-2010 at 12:20 PM..
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Old 06-30-2010, 12:32 PM
 
Location: EPWV
19,284 posts, read 9,386,028 times
Reputation: 21079
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orincarnia View Post
so how would you punish the kid in the youtube videos who took a bat to his truck that his parents gave him?

lemme put it to you this way, my parents got me an SUV when i was 17, well i decided to back into the garage (stupid idea) i took out the back wall. my dad came at me with a belt. i was genuinely afraid he was going to belt me. he didn't (i was too old). but if this kid had any fear of his parents, he wouldn't make as many stupid decisions. and due to that, i didn't park the truck on the front lawn. i didn't know i'd get a ticket for parking on the grass, but i knew my dad would come at me with a belt if i did.

sometimes kids don't know the real consequences to their actions, and their parents discipline is the only thing helping them make the right decisions.
Isn't there a difference between you backing into the garage [perception of distance error = accident] and that of the kid with the bat in hand smacking the vehicle [malicious intent = no accident] ? Sure there's still damage to the vehicle but the intentions were quite different in my perspective.
Another scenario:
(1) A kid pick up a lamp from the table and throws it on the floor and it breaks. (2) If a kid is throwing a frisbee in the house and it hits a lamp, it falls to the floor and breaks. (3) If a kid reached over to pick up the telephone but his elbow bumps the lamp and it falls to the floor and breaks.
Sure the damage is still present in all three options but the way it occurred in my eyes anyhow, is the factoring point. As kids, I think many of us were frightened by our parents reaction to any screw-ups. Maybe it was just a different time?

I think the kid should drive around in the vehicle that he purposely smashed with the bat. Sure not going to get another one!!! If the kid has a job/allowance, some money put away each month to help with future repairs.
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Old 06-30-2010, 01:01 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,753,147 times
Reputation: 17472
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orincarnia View Post
are you serious?

yeah maybe if they spanked him at an earlier age he wouldn't be acting like this now. he was that kid that got whatever he wanted when he screamed.

thank you for completely missing my point.
You know this kid personally?
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