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Old 04-19-2010, 11:56 AM
 
1,719 posts, read 4,167,805 times
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Every kid I know who wasn't spanked ended up becoming a spoiled waste of an adult. Every kid I know who was spanked (myself included) is a fine and upstanding member of society. Coincidence? I don't know, but I stand by my own experiences. If I ever have kids (hopefully not...but it could happen) then their little asses are gonna be red.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:57 AM
 
623 posts, read 1,597,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicIsYourFriend View Post
No, the dominant/submissive tendencies happen regardless, it's just whether they learned from their parents that hitting is what the dominant one should do.

Which study are you referring to?
I have posted a study about kids who are not spanked and are they better off. It is about 5 posts up from here. I know everyone has a different opinion on spanking. However it seems if you spank you are a horrible parent and it does nothing but cause problems for your children. As the study discusses there have been very few studies done on the kids who are not spanked. I would encourage you to read it.

Also, i don't HIT my kids. Spanking is different. I never punched other kids growing up thinking it was ok. Niether of my brothers did either. Not to say I never got in a fight. My kids have never had issues hitting other kids because they thought it was the right thing to do. So although it seems logical to think it teaches kids its ok to hit I have not experienced this in my family or other families that spank.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:19 PM
 
171 posts, read 211,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tyvin View Post
Spanking does increase violent behavior. The AAP is extremely reputable with their recommendations and set standards of care that many pediatricians follow. Tulane and Duke are not the only ones that have conducted extensive studies in this area

It's true you can find any stats for anything that you want to prove but in this case it is based on years of juried studies.

It also is found in studies I've read that kids who had been spanked as kids had IQs less then their fortunate counterparts. This concept is also addressed to a lesser degree in the link John1960 provided (well written article).

I know all of you who hit your kids for punishment don't understand that kids needs discipline not punishment. Hmmmm.........

No more to say as I know how people's blood boils when they need to justify hitting/spanking/striking the toddlers and kids.
What's the point of having an high IQ if your miserable. Kids like having boundaries... I wonder what the IQ of the kids that went on a shooting spree at the Columbine School, or the brothers that killed their parents. Kids don't become angry for being beating (disciplined), most kids such as I thanked my parents for being their, guideing me, loving me and correcting me when i'm wrong. They become angry from being abused, neglected, raped, bullied, etc. If they give full detail of their study you can see they're maybe other issue's that they are not telling. MHO
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:32 PM
 
171 posts, read 211,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
When I was in school, back in the good ol' days of spankings (late 60's-70's) kids were selling pot in elementary school, having fights, walking around in cliques of spoiled princesses, failing grades, etc., etc., etc. Banning corporal punishment did not bring about social ills.

Columbine.. the girl who just hung herself from being bullied, the amount of sex going on (girls, boys, animals, toys - with these young children) ugghh. Drugs - how many college student has a drinking problem or on e pills?? It's disgusting!! There was no boundaries set in the home and they just all out there!! They need to put Christian religion back into schools and teach the kids some dignity, morals, and respect for themselves!! Because telling them timeout is the worst punishment they get when they messed up is a lie. They can get hurt in real life, raped, or die and sometimes there is no second chances.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
61 posts, read 174,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
I know that non-spankers have a difficult time understanding that when you put kids in time out they laugh at you. .
That's quite a generalization. Mine does not laugh. She cries like she has had her heart broken. Then again, we use discipline right now, instead of punishment. It works for now.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:53 PM
 
171 posts, read 211,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicIsYourFriend View Post
Spanking teaches kids that it's ok to hit, and that you should hit others to teach them lessons.

I can't believe people are shocked or in denial when confronted with facts that it does increase aggression.

My dad spanked me when i was out of line. But, he also came in my room every night and prayed with me. He loved my mom, his kids, family and others. Me and my siblings grew up with compassion and love for people as GOD would want us. But, we was calm, we listened, and didn't go against what our parents had to teach us. Because we was in line. Most of these kids are so out of line that when it's time for parenting they are not settled enought to get it. There screaming on what they want and what matters to them. To learn u first have to be able to listen and they can't listen if they're running around, mouthing off, and taking time outs all day.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
61 posts, read 174,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emcallis View Post
What's the point of having an high IQ if your miserable. Kids like having boundaries... I wonder what the IQ of the kids that went on a shooting spree at the Columbine School, or the brothers that killed their parents. Kids don't become angry for being beating (disciplined), most kids such as I thanked my parents for being their, guideing me, loving me and correcting me when i'm wrong. They become angry from being abused, neglected, raped, bullied, etc. If they give full detail of their study you can see they're maybe other issue's that they are not telling. MHO
Again with the generalizations. Not spanking your kids does not equal no discipline whatsoever. Spanking is only one way. My kids have boundaries, I consider myself to be a tough but fair mother. They don't get away with much and I expect a lot out of them. Perhaps it is their personalities, which may play a big part, but they hate to disappoint their parents and grandparents. Spanking has never been necessary in our house. I was always able to get through to them some other way. I fully realize that may not be possible for all children.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
61 posts, read 174,248 times
Reputation: 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwonderwhy2124 View Post
Every kid I know who wasn't spanked ended up becoming a spoiled waste of an adult. Every kid I know who was spanked (myself included) is a fine and upstanding member of society. Coincidence? I don't know, but I stand by my own experiences. If I ever have kids (hopefully not...but it could happen) then their little asses are gonna be red.
Again, that is your experience.
I was not spanked, and I consider myself a kind, gentle and empathetic individual. I am a good daughter, wife, sister, mother and friend. I hope I would be considered an upstanding member of society - I have a graduate degree and a good job. I'm also a volunteer.
I know spoiled people on both sides of the coin. Who you are today is so much more than the method of discipline used when you were a kid (unless you were abused of course).
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:58 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,673,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicIsYourFriend View Post
Kids learn by example. So when you set the example that the dominant one should hit the disobedient one, they learn. Then it's just a matter of whether they get a sense of dominance over others or remain the submissive one. Get it now?
You may think that logic is your friend, but there is nothing logical about this post. Your attempt to psychoanalyze spanking as a dicipline and deterrant to bad behavior over-works your mind.

Spanking has been since the beginning of time. Even in civilized countries. To follow in this ridiculous vein of dominance and submissiveness, one would have to consider the fact that likely the majority of children were spanked in earlier times (Until this last generation or so of wimpy parenting techniques of non-spankers.) and that would have produced generation after generation of dominant, heavy-handed people. There would be two extremes and none in the middle, but the vast majority would be in the dominant, heavy-handed group.

If spanking was so awful and damaging, the majority of people would have reverted back to caveman behavior a long, long time ago.

It's just been in the last couple generations, when spanking has become so tabu that society has become so touchy and bizarre. It's just been in the last couple generations that there has been so much violence at schools and childhood suicides have risen to the point of alarm.

Yep, I'd rather spank and get it over with than to talk a kid to death.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:09 PM
 
171 posts, read 211,500 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post

What!!!! I think I disagree... lol.
With any type of discipline it has to do with love!!! You can't always discipline a child without an explanation or encouragement. What you’re not looking at is there are many different people who discipline to the extreme or not. You can have a parent who does not believe in spanking their kids. But, they put them in time out 50 times a day for every little thing. The parent doesn't pay any attention to the child; just to get a break. That won't be affective and can cause some damage to a child. Just as the same if you were to spank your child 50 times a day and don't have the time to speak to them with love or teach them anything. It's all the same... bad parenting. It's more than just spanking or putting on time out!! It's all the other things you do or don't do that will damage a kid. MHO
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