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Old 04-19-2010, 06:05 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,755,385 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guineapiggie101 View Post
I disagree. The daughter had nothing to do with the thieving friend. Why should she be punished?

It isn't as though SHE shoplifted!!!!
At the very least, the daugther should have told the mother about the incident when she got home.

My mother had one main rule---she wanted to hear things from her children first.

She didn't want to get a surprise phone call from another parent, teacher, etc.

And that's what happened to the OP. The friend's mother called her and she knew NOTHING about it because her daughter didn't tell her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by guineapiggie101 View Post
Sometimes, as teenagers, it is better to look the other way with friends, than to rat on them and be labeled a "snitch".
It's not snitching to tell your parents about something the other teen's parents already know.

And parents would be wise to not inform other parents about things they learn---so their children feel safe sharing with their parents.

I have NEVER called a parent about anything my children have shared with me about other kids. It's important for children to feel safe telling their parents things.
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Old 04-19-2010, 07:39 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,679,685 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
LOL - because I couldn't make a good point on purpose? j/k ... I know what you mean it just sounded funny...

I think that might be true. I was not a kid to get in trouble..I toe'd the line because I would have been horrified. To this day, I am not a risk taker and in some cases, that has held me back from things...Being overly rule-oriented is not necessarily a good thing. Pushing the limit sometimes, challenging authority and being a bit of a risk taker can be good things. I think the key is also learning that you can make mistakes and it is not the end of the world (not sure I ever learned that one but I hope my kids are).
Exactly. If one is always coloring within the lines, he/she never learns to think outside the box.
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Old 04-19-2010, 07:50 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,679,685 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guineapiggie101 View Post
Sometimes, as teenagers, it is better to look the other way with friends, than to rat on them and be labeled a "snitch".
This is wrong on so many levels.

I have always taught my kids that friends come and go in life and if someone has no morals, they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt. My 16 year old knows that when someone she knows does something wrong, she has a little talk with them about their behavior (Seriously, they usually listen to her.). She is very good about discerning what is truely bad behavior and what is necessary for a teen to grow up be a better person for it.

She would never 'look the other way' if someone is doing something like shoplifting. If she didn't take care of it right then and there, she would come home and talk to me about it first then have a talk with the friend. If the behavior continued, that person would no longer be a friend.

My daughter is a risk taker to an extent, but not in a way that would hurt anyone else.
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Old 04-19-2010, 09:28 AM
 
2,714 posts, read 5,343,987 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guineapiggie101 View Post
I disagree. The daughter had nothing to do with the thieving friend. Why should she be punished?

It isn't as though SHE shoplifted!!!!

Sometimes, as teenagers, it is better to look the other way with friends, than to rat on them and be labeled a "snitch".

The OP said when she confronted her daughter, the daughter told her that "she's done it before." So obviously the daughter knew she was hanging around with a thief.

If the store security saw the two girls together and one of them took property without paying for it, they would have called the police on both girls and tagged the daughter as a lookout or something.

I think it's important that the mom here explain to her daughter that being present when a crime is committed can get you into trouble even if you are not participating in the theft.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:33 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,679,685 times
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The daughter should tell her 'friend' that if she doesn't go to the stores and take back what she took, she will go to the authorities.
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