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Old 04-19-2010, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
18,385 posts, read 31,499,727 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
She is at the exact age when I stopped wanting to go visiting with my parents. They had friends who had kids close to my age and when we were very young it wasn't a problem, kids go where their parents go. But when I was 11 or 12 I started making a fuss about it. Soon I was able to stay with my own friends when they went out, and later I could stay home alone. It's a natural thing whether you are related or not. BTW, even though I grew up with several same-aged cousins within blocks of my own house we did not remain close once we got into middle school. From that point on we may as well have been strangers because we were completely different people. Holidays were the only times we ever saw each other.
This is so true, my 3 sons have not a thing in common with their cousins from my sister, her boys are on a different wave length than my boys. When they were younger they would all play together, but now as you said, they could all be strangers. Even at family functions (yuck) they just exchange pleantries (sp) my sister doesn't understand why, I do, I get them....My sisters kids are from suburbia, my boys are from an urban neighborhood, it has a lot to do with it...oh well.
At least they do not fight, so that's a good thing.
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Old 04-20-2010, 12:34 AM
 
5,697 posts, read 19,097,632 times
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Congrats, you are doing a great job! Your daughter is looking at what is right for her and even though it is family, she is learning who the right crowd is. You should be proud of yourself. You have taught her to think for herself.

From my personal experience, I grew up with a cousin close in age. My mother's sister's child. Both my Mother and Aunt shoved my cousin and I together. I was pretty shy and didnt want to be trouble and never told my mother how awful my cousin treated me. I lived in a small house in the city, we didnt get much company because our place was too small (I can relate). My Aunt lived further out in the burbs, a brand new sub with cul de sacs and plenty of kids. At that time, city life was considered a yucky thing. I never told my mother (because I was not confident enough and could see my mom and her sister were really close) that my cousin tortured me every weekend until I turned 12. My Aunt who meant well often gave me her daughter's hand me downs. So my weekends were spent with my cousin and her little friends torturing me all weekend on my clothes, where I lived, where I went to school etc. Sometimes they would ditch me at the park, hide from me, not let me play, or get in the pool, etc.. it was hell. I was their entertainment. I finally told my mother about it all when I was an adult (she couldnt understand why I hated my cousin). She said I should have told her about all the crap I had went through. I don't know if it would have changed really, as people tend to worry too much about what family thinks.

Listen to your daughter, just because they are family doesnt mean its the right crowd.
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Old 04-20-2010, 02:15 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,785 posts, read 23,996,029 times
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I live 1200 miles away from my cousin and my aunt . they have their homes and I have mine and we all like it that way . even so we each have each others phone numbers and know that if anything happens we are on the road headed that way or a phone call away or a plane away which is only an hr away either way we go . But I just cannot live where they live it is way toooo hot for me and uncomfortable they choose not to ac their house and when I am there on vacation I stay at a hotel because i would have a major heat rash if I stayed with them . Oh well I guess what I am communicating here is that your daughter knows that she can be seperate from her family . kuddos to her as well for knowing the difference .
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