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Old 04-18-2010, 08:32 AM
 
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I would let them play as long as they like. I loved loved loved softball as a kid and I wasn't great. I was better on the township league than I was on the school team but I never wanted to quit the school team.

Do the kids like it? If they do then that's the only answer that you need. If not then you let them try something else.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:58 AM
 
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I'll echo what many here have already said....way too early to give up on the sport/kid yet....

If your children are enjoying it let them play...

I have 3 daughters playing soccer....my oldest is 14 and a very good player, top level club player, ODP and school soccer.

She wasn't a star at 6 or 7 but she enjoyed it, kept playing and working at it (long after her more talented team mates had stopped).....she also kept growing and getting faster while some of the 6-7 year old star players stopped growing and getting faster....

You never know how it will work out but the star players at age 6-7 aren't necessarily the star players come high school.
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Old 04-18-2010, 01:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
My 4 1/2 yo and almost 7 yo boys are playing soccer this spring. I really want them to be involved in activities, and soccer was my husband's sport. He was really good once upon a time.

Anyway, I know we're just starting all of this, and I don't know how much more I can stand! Neither of them is a star player but they can follow instructions. I'd say they are both average among their teammates. My husband coaches the 6yo's team. There are the other parents, who all have a piece of advice for me to pass on to DH. Then there are the other kids. The good ones get recruited to play for better teams. that leaves the uncoordinated and disinterested to play on our team.

So, how long do you keep a kid on a sports team when it is obvious they aren't any good?

I was thinking another season or 2, and if DS7 is not improving, we'd move on to something else. But I asked another mom (she has older kids), and she said she would have them play as long as they aren't complaining, whether they are any good or not. I don't know. It can't be much fun to play a sport when you aren't good at it. Sooner or later, they will realize that, right?

At least my 4 yo wasn't the one literally standing in the middle of the field crying and sucking his thumb as the game went on around him!
Wow.

My 4 1/2 yr old plays soccer right now & I've not even thought along these terms.

It's suppose to be about fun, not perfection.

It is also a great way to very simply teach a child about commitment. They are committed to completing the season...going to practice & staying in the game.

I was really good at lacrosse & cross country. But if my boys want nothing to do with it, not going to dwell on it.

Not sure how you can permanently judge a 4yr olds ability in soccer. Seems a little young to be doing that sort of thing. For a 7yr old, may or may not be their thing. But I surely would require follow through on the season & if the child does not want to pursue the sport, gently proceed with other ideas that suit that child's personality. Not every child is going to be Mia Hamm. But as parents, we also can't live our past through them or expect them to completely comprehend certain things about competitive sports at such young ages.

Kids are also good at realizing the confidence their parents have at them at a very young age. Give off the tone that you don't think your child is good, that is what they are literally going to believe. I'm not a parent who believes in children getting tropheys for just showing up & actually a big fan of team & competitive sports, but I also think there needs to be a fine line in what WE as ADULTS expect and what CHILDREN are capable of doing.
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Old 04-18-2010, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
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What we're doing with my 7-year-old (and will eventually do with my youngest but she's only 2) is letting her experiment with different sports until she gets some "traction" in one of them. My daughter is fairly decent at everything she's tried and would have been more than happy to play soccer again, but as a parent, I looked at whether or not she was really enjoying it and getting any exercise (which IMHO is the whole point at that age). She liked putting on a uniform and warming up, but then the game would start and there she'd be, standing around until the ball got down to her area of the field, and then she'd run for about 20 seconds and that would be it.

So...we only tell her that she's got to play for the entire season and then she can move onto something else. Only a parent knows their own kid, but I definitely "steer" mine towards other stuff. For example, she was in dance class last year and had fun. I wanted her to be in dance just to help her with coordination and learning to move her body as it develops. She completed her year and had fun at her recital but I could tell it wasn't something she was really going to pursue.

The one constant for her has been swimming. We started out with lessons but she really enjoyed the Swimming Competition at the Olympics and got to meet an Olympian in Colorado Springs who made a point to tell her how great she'd be since she's already so tall. For some reason, that has really stuck and while other sports and activities come and go, swimming and signing up for the next level until she works her way up to Swim Team seems to be a constant. And, it's fantastic exercise for a growing kid. Right now, she's in basketball and seems to enjoy it enough to keep her interested (and especially because she can see her own progress), so it's basketball and swimming this summer for us. I for one, just try to keep things in perspective. I am not one of those parents who think my kid will be an Olympian or a professional athlete, but I do want them to get exercise and with the exception of warm-ups and drills during practice, soccer wasn't getting her anything significant. She's not a kid who likes to sit around anyway, but I see for myself that after swimming, she's totally wiped out.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:08 PM
 
Location: here
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thank you all for your opinions. My frustration is mostly coming from the coaching side of it right now, I think. DS 7 is the least of his problems. In fact he scored a goal today. DH is more frustrated with the other kids on the team who don't seem all that interested in playing, and sit on the sidelines whining; and the parents, either asking why their kid wasn't in the game more, and the parents of the better players trying to tell him how to coach. And the fact that we never win a game. It can't be fun to lose all the time...

And my OP is not about my 4 yo at all. He is just starting out. His game was more entertainment than anything. My OP wasn't even specifically about MY 7yo. It was more of a general question I asked with the whole team in mind. There is one kid on the team that is so uncoordinated, the other teams make fun of him. I don't think his mom realizes that, but DH has heard it.

DH has always said that it doesn't matter what sport the kids want to play. He knows they are their own people. DH was the one who disappointed his dad by playing soccer instead of baseball. He doesn't want to influence our kids that way. But he would LIKE it if they were into soccer.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,137,706 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
My frustration is mostly coming from the coaching side of it right now, I think. DH is more frustrated with the other kids on the team who don't seem all that interested in playing, and sit on the sidelines whining; and the parents, either asking why their kid wasn't in the game more, and the parents of the better players trying to tell him how to coach. And the fact that we never win a game. It can't be fun to lose all the time...
Kids have fun at sports...it's the parents who ruin it.

And for every parent who just wants their kid to enjoy the experience of being on a team, you've got 4 others who have visions of their kid getting a college scholarship. The parents are the ones who take the fun out of it because they think their kid's ability is some sort of statement on how well they parent.

But...props to your husband for coaching.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:49 PM
 
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At this age, all kids should get field time regardless of how good they are. Grade schoolers shouldnt' be sitting on a bench with less field time. This age is truly not about winning.

It's great that your husband is coaching, but be aware that it might not be good for your own kids to have their father for a coach.

My son loved Boy Scouts, but I think he would have loved it more if his father hadn't been a leader because his father held him to a higher standard.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:52 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,041,294 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
At this age, all kids should get field time regardless of how good they are. Grade schoolers shouldnt' be sitting on a bench with less field time. This age is truly not about winning.

It's great that your husband is coaching, but be aware that it might not be good for your own kids to have their father for a coach.

My son loved Boy Scouts, but I think he would have loved it more if his father hadn't been a leader because his father held him to a higher standard.
I was talking about the ones who whine and say they don't want to play. He rotates them all in, but might think twice about putting a kid back in who is sitting on the sidelines saying that they don't want to. For whatever reason, the league told the coaches not to talk to the parents about stuff like that.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,280 posts, read 6,062,734 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
At this age, all kids should get field time regardless of how good they are. Grade schoolers shouldnt' be sitting on a bench with less field time. This age is truly not about winning.

It's great that your husband is coaching, but be aware that it might not be good for your own kids to have their father for a coach.

My son loved Boy Scouts, but I think he would have loved it more if his father hadn't been a leader because his father held him to a higher standard.

I also say that this age is not about winning, but that isn't how it is in reality. Last season I coached an 8 and under softball team. In reality, my team should have been a T-ball team since half of our players were six. Most of the other teams were made up of mainly eight and recently turned nine-year-olds. Only three of my girls had ever played, while the other teams had one or two girls who had never played. Yet the parents would still throw fits when we lost 10-0. The other coaches had never heard of sportsmanship either. It was just a bad situation. In most leagues, it is always about winning, no matter what age. This is why eight and under now has All-Stars.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:15 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,041,294 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
I also say that this age is not about winning, but that isn't how it is in reality. Last season I coached an 8 and under softball team. In reality, my team should have been a T-ball team since half of our players were six. Most of the other teams were made up of mainly eight and recently turned nine-year-olds. Only three of my girls had ever played, while the other teams had one or two girls who had never played. Yet the parents would still throw fits when we lost 10-0. The other coaches had never heard of sportsmanship either. It was just a bad situation. In most leagues, it is always about winning, no matter what age. This is why eight and under now has All-Stars.
very true! We don't officially keep score at this age (U8) but everyone sitting on the sidelines obviously is. Even if you aren't keeping score, it is hard to not notice when it is 5-0!
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