Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-18-2010, 04:44 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,011,274 times
Reputation: 4511

Advertisements

I'm so sorry that you're having this experience. I suspect that our kids play for the same organization. (Do you play at Gates?)

My husband coaches U8, too. His perspective is that at this age, the whole point is for the kids to have fun, in addition to learning how the game works and playing all of the positions. Recently, we played against a team whose coach was very nasty to my husband. For the life of us, we couldn't figure out why. After the game ended, it came out that he thought that my husband was the coach of a team that beat his team 11-0 last season, but he was confused. My spouse's attitude is that when a game starts to head that direction, it's time to let his weaker players take the spotlight and to put his stronger players in field positions that challenge them. A shut out isn't any fun for either team.

As long as your son is having fun, I say let him play and focus on the fun and fitness. We've started trying to meet as a team on weekends when we don't have a game to do other things together. Just this past weekend, all the families met at a pizza joint for a little socialization. The boys had a ball, and the parents were able to get to know each other a little better. It's not just about winning and losing, but I suspect you already know that. Hang in there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-18-2010, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,925,214 times
Reputation: 3946
No good deed goes unpunished. Volunteering to be a coach is one of those deeds. It is always the parents who ruin it for the kids, isn't it? Kids are always so innocent at that age and just want to have fun. The parents take it way to seriously.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2010, 05:21 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,011,274 times
Reputation: 4511
Yes, some parents do, but a coach can head a lot of that off by establishing his vision for the team before the season even starts. Parents who want something different can move on if it's a bad fit. The socializing off the field really helps. I strongly encourage it. So does frequent communication in person and via e-mail. In fact, a post-game debriefing e-mail that includes encouraging words for all players and a challenge to work on skills in between practices can do a world of good. Parents love to receive e-mails with specifics about what their kid has done really well in practice or in a game.

Last edited by formercalifornian; 04-18-2010 at 05:29 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2010, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,925,214 times
Reputation: 3946
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Yes, some parents do, but a coach can head a lot of that off by establishing his vision for the team before the season even starts. Parents who want something different can move on if it's a bad fit. The socializing off the field really helps. I strongly encourage it. So does frequent communication in person and via e-mail. In fact, a post-game debriefing e-mail that includes encouraging words for all players and a challenge to work on skills in between practices can do a world of good. Parents love to receive e-mails with specifics about what their kid has done really well in practice or in a game.
Those are some great ideas.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2010, 06:40 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 10,477,661 times
Reputation: 3206
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
thank you all for your opinions. My frustration is mostly coming from the coaching side of it right now, I think.
My son's coach quit after the first game. Yep, quit teaching toddlers how to kick a ball b/c she was too frustrated with it all. So, my dh & another dad are taking over. My dh knows nothing about soccer, so it should be interesting.

We have a whiner who also hits on our team. And nope, not allowed to talk to the parents about it. Issue arises is that the other boys want to stay away from him, which makes him stand out, which makes him whine & throw more fits. It's sorta sad b/c the mom has a whole stash of food she gives him every 2 minutes he walks off the field. Those issues I just don't get.

Last week we played against one of those teams with screaming parents who went nuts every time their kids scored or missed the ball. It was my first time experiencing that sort of thing. And this is U5. I can only imagine as they get older. I'm not really good at tolerating my children not doing something just b/c they want to be little stinkers, but I also can never see myself screaming my lungs out b/c my son missed a goal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2010, 06:44 PM
 
Location: The Midwest
2,966 posts, read 3,897,456 times
Reputation: 5329
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
I can guarantee you will 100% confidence that the "good" kids on a 4 year old or 7 year old team will NOT bet the high school standouts. Kids mature at different ages and there is no way to say that a 4 year old is 'bad' at a sport. The key now is if it is something they like to do. If they enjoy playing, let them play.
This is so true! My daughter was never a stand out in soccer (actually, she was a stand out because she was so bad!) until about u11 soccer. Now she's a starting freshman on the HS varsity team If your young son isn't good at a sport, don't sweat it because in so many cases the kids who are good at a young age aren't the great ones in high school.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2010, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,281 posts, read 6,059,994 times
Reputation: 3924
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
I'm so sorry that you're having this experience. I suspect that our kids play for the same organization. (Do you play at Gates?)

My husband coaches U8, too. His perspective is that at this age, the whole point is for the kids to have fun, in addition to learning how the game works and playing all of the positions. Recently, we played against a team whose coach was very nasty to my husband. For the life of us, we couldn't figure out why. After the game ended, it came out that he thought that my husband was the coach of a team that beat his team 11-0 last season, but he was confused. My spouse's attitude is that when a game starts to head that direction, it's time to let his weaker players take the spotlight and to put his stronger players in field positions that challenge them. A shut out isn't any fun for either team.

As long as your son is having fun, I say let him play and focus on the fun and fitness. We've started trying to meet as a team on weekends when we don't have a game to do other things together. Just this past weekend, all the families met at a pizza joint for a little socialization. The boys had a ball, and the parents were able to get to know each other a little better. It's not just about winning and losing, but I suspect you already know that. Hang in there.
Where I come from you also don't want the game to get out of control. I coached in a city one county over from where I grew up. The thing is, I played in one of the most competitive leagues in the country in the area that dominates softball in every way. Yet, we played with class, and they still do. I've gone back to watch some games, and there is still lots of sportsmanship there. The last game of the season last season was out of control score wise. One of the parents of my team was fed up about it and yelled at the other coach to stop having the kids run around our team. Usually in softball, if your team is way ahead you have the kids stop at the first base they get to. The other coach said that he was just preparing his kids for the next level. However, he wasn't. I know from playing on the next level that teams that play like that are not respected.

Actually, when I played if teams were like that we would get nasty in return. My teams usually weren't really bad, but we knew the reputations of other teams. Here is an example from when I was in fourteen-and-under. The catcher from this other team would say "sucks to be you" every time one of our batters got out. Yes, that isn't really nasty, but it isn't sportsmanlike, either. Somehow it happened that I was at third at one point. I went to home and she didn't leave home, even though the ball wasn't going to her. I took her out because I had to get to home. Then I said "sucks to be you." Was it wrong? Well, she stopped doing it. The umpire was right there and smiled at me because he knew she had it coming.

I'm just saying that while parents will want you to only win, it isn't best for the kids. It isn't setting them up for success in the sport, and that isn't how real teams and leagues play. They even play with these sportsmanship unwritten rules in the major leagues and Olympics. It's a sad thing to see where kids' sports are going these days.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top