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My dd is 12, almost 13, so we're not dealing with a toddler who's just discovered markers. she's had this habit for about a year now, more or less.
She writes, scribbles, draws on everything, and I mean everything. she writes all over herself, draws on her arms, hands, face, etc with whatever she can use, including markers, ink pens, pencils, etc.
She also writes or scribbles all over everything she owns. She scribbles all over her purses, backpacks, bookbags, etc. She even marks all over her clothes. Just today I found a pair of almost new sneakers she'd scribbled all over with a pink marker. It took two machine washings to get it out, and its stained all over.
I'm concerned teachers will think she's trying to cheat by writing on herself, although she's never done so. she doesn't write school notes. she either randomly doodles, or draws pictures of flowers, etc. she loves to write her "friends" names all over everything, its like she's trying to show off how many friends she has and reassure herself, too.
I've tried everything I can think of. I've discussed it to death with her, told her she could be accused of cheating and sent to suspension if it appears she's making crib notes. Also, I'm sick of buying her nice, new clothes, purses, book bags, etc, and finding them all marked up. Don't suggest taking away the markers, they use them in school.
I finally told her we would shop at thrift stores only. Whatever she can buy for a set sum of money is her wardrobe. Its pointless to buy nice things only to have her make them look like a thrift store reject, anyways. I told her the next person to get something new is me, not her.
But she doodles all over everything, not just clothes. The other day we were in a store, before I could stop her she grabbed the pen attached to the credit card thing and started randomly doodling on the display case! I was mortified! Also, she marks on everything with her fingers, when she's riding in the car she smears on the inside windows. yesterday I made her take some windex and clean the windows, I still had to go back over it so I could see outside.
What would make a person do such a thing? I'm begining to think its a compulsive habit. Please don't suggest its a "phase' she's been doing this for over a year now. Also, please don't suggest I let her pick out her own clothes so she will have a sense of ownership and pride. She always picks her own clothes, I let her buy what she likes, within reason.
I think part of it is the group she hangs with. She says "everyone does it". her little group eggs her on, if you know what I mean. I'm thinking perhaps I should speak with the school counselor, but then again I'm hesitant to blow it out of proportion. School will be over in ~4 weeks, I don't want to escalate a situation.
So, any ideas, suggestions, etc? I'm especially interested in knowing if anyone else has had such a problem, is this a teen thing?
Sorry, I vote for "it's just a phase", albeit a long one. My DD did the same thing pretty much from 8th or 9th grade until she graduated. Her brother and a lot of her classmates doodle on their things too. Whiteout, markers, fingers on the car windows, all that sounds familiar.
Other than making them wash the crud off my car windows I didn't sweat it, it's their stuff and if they want to walk around looking like a graffiti covered wall, let 'em! Same for being accused of writing cheat notes, if they insist on doodling they accept the risk that a teacher might call them out on it. Accepting the natural consequences of their actions is a part of growing up. Being sent to the principals office over something like that would simply be a lesson to them, it wouldn't be the end of the world, or anything to get all bent out of shape about.
Sorry, I vote for "it's just a phase", albeit a long one. My DD did the same thing pretty much from 8th or 9th grade until she graduated. Her brother and a lot of her classmates doodle on their things too. Whiteout, markers, fingers on the car windows, all that sounds familiar.
Other than making them wash the crud off my car windows I didn't sweat it, it's their stuff and if they want to walk around looking like a graffiti covered wall, let 'em! Same for being accused of writing cheat notes, if they insist on doodling they accept the risk that a teacher might call them out on it. Accepting the natural consequences of their actions is a part of growing up. Being sent to the principals office over something like that would simply be a lesson to them, it wouldn't be the end of the world, or anything to get all bent out of shape about.
Ok, well then, it makes me feel better to know others do similar actions. I'm concerned she might be accused of cheating. I've warned her to make sure to wash her hands thoroughly before a test, especially a biggy, like the SAT! Now I've told her that many times, time to quit. If she is accused of cheating, she will have to handle the consequences. She's an honor's student, never been in any type of trouble, but I'm concerned once she labels herself its an inward spiral from there on. But I won't talk to the counselor about it, thatr would cause them to focus on her and perhaps escalate things. Let the natural consequences flow, that means let other people draw their own conclusions, don't rush to hand it to them.
Insofar as clothes, I guess I will continue to buy as I have and just not worry if she chooses to mark all over them. after all, people must realkize I didn't buy it like that, she made it that way!
Get her a few drawing pads. You can get them spiral bound to make it easy. Have her carry one around in her pack and encourage her to express herself in something you can save for her. She can have one in her room, one in the family room, one in the kitchen, one in the car, one in her backpack, etc., and attach pens to them on a string.
Ohhh, I'm a compulsive doodler too.
Especially when I'm on the phone.
When I'm trying to explain a concept or idea I actually find it's best if I draw a picture. I carry Prismacolor pencils and markers and teeny little sketchbooks with me pretty much eveywhere I go.
Doe your daughter have art class at school? It sounds like she might enjoy a creative, tactile outlet.
I'd introduce her to as many arts and crafts as you can at this age: sewing, knitting, ceramics. It does sound like she's a bit compulsive, so you want to substitute good ways for her to keep her hands busy.
I like the idea of buying her clothes at the thrift store. She can "customize" them and you won't lament the $$$ spent.
Good luck.
p.s. perhaps next year she can participate in "houly comic day":
I agree doodling is part of being a teen for the most part. Some seem to doodle more than others or for longer periods of time, there are very few folks out there who hasn't doodled at some point and time. I remember doodling myself, still do on occasions, but this time I doodle only on paper and not everything else.
I also agree about buying her some sketch pads and possibly get her into an art class. She may some day turn those doodles into beautiful works of art.
So, any ideas, suggestions, etc? I'm especially interested in knowing if anyone else has had such a problem, is this a teen thing?
My daughter did the same thing at that age but I didn't really think about it. She had her "art" all over everything, kind of a complusive need to be artistic or something. She painted her room a few times, would write all over hands, her arm, legs often drawing artistic tattoo looking designs. She bought herself a white board for her room and would write and draw on it -- change it daily. She had every possible color of nail polish and fingers and toes were designed and changed constantly. She would have blue or green or violet streaks in her hair. Sometimes the dog got painted with hearts or something. Horses got manes and tails braided.
Then it just stopped. Suddenly she began knitting and crocheting blankets, scarves, dog jackets and she has a large collection of yarns. That's gone on for a couple years now.
Boys will also go into a doodling stage where every book jacket is covered with inked artwork. Backpacks will be covered with statements, designs.
When my kids were teens they doodled all over themselves, their books, their stuff and their computers. I think it's nervous energy and a way to express themselves. They will stop eventually. Till then, don't worry about it. You can always repaint the room after they get older.
Oddly enough, now that my kids have all moved out, I find stuff they drew on when they were younger and it makes me smile. It brings back memories.
While the doodling is annoying you and making you worry about school thinking she's cheating... I would also highly suggest that she get involved in many outlets that will allow her to draw/doodle. Art classes, carry notebooks everywhere, any cool controlled graffiti activities outside (like groups that go ahead and paint a new wall at a park or something). Also, give her the erasable markers so when she does draw, it will come off easier. I know other posters also said this.
I also really like your idea of thrift store clothing so her drawing don't "ruin" the pricier clothes... and maybe she feels like she needs to draw/doodle more because you are erasing and getting rid of her stuff. Let her compile her drawings and see if it will allow her to be even more expressive and creative.
As far as the cheating concern, I think this is a risk she's taking, but if "everyone does it", perhaps the teachers know what and what not to look for, as they're used to seeing a lot of drawing with the kids. Not sure what else you can do hear, except warn her that while you support her drawing, she needs to be prepared that she could be accused of cheating... maybe by talking about it with her, she'll realize on her own the risks she wants to takes... kind of when and where she draws.
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