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Poor social skills, porn, behavior & boundary issues are not limited to the diagnosis of Asperger's.
I agree. But I have a problem with people (not use, just talking generally) who attempt to politicize autism spectrum disorders. Meaning, any hint of aggression, moodiness, bad temper or other moderate to severe behavior issues just can't be autism. Because autistic people are not like that. So it must be bipolar or mood disorder or some other type of significant mental disorder. Yes, there are people who are on the spectrum who misbehave, and they don't have a mental illness diagnosis. So why not try to treat their needs without trying assign a diagnosis or label for every little behavior?
Again, this is a general and not a personal rant, from the mother of a child diagnosed with PDD-NOS.
I agree. But I have a problem with people (not use, just talking generally) who attempt to politicize autism spectrum disorders. Meaning, any hint of aggression, moodiness, bad temper or other moderate to severe behavior issues just can't be autism. Because autistic people are not like that. So it must be bipolar or mood disorder or some other type of significant mental disorder. Yes, there are people who are on the spectrum who misbehave, and they don't have a mental illness diagnosis. So why not try to treat their needs without trying assign a diagnosis or label for every little behavior?
Again, this is a general and not a personal rant, from the mother of a child diagnosed with PDD-NOS.
That's my point, no one appears to have treated this child's needs.
I personally don't care for PC ways to sugar-coat or excuse behaviors myself. My point was that the behaviors the OP described this 17 yr old exhibiting are unacceptable for any child. Some may be attributable to a mental illness, some may not... but regardless they do not appear to have been addressed by anyone, ever. I'm sure this child didn't begin these inappropriate behaviors overnight.
However, a diagnosis is supposed to be a useful tool to understand why or how a person is different and help educate & treat them accordingly. A diagnosis is not a free pass for bad behavior. This child, Asperger's or not, appears to be on a sad path to nowhere.
Very good points. After several years of working in the mental health field, I have discovered that true treatment goes beyond any diagnosis (which may or may not be accurate), and requires addressing the behaviors and needs of each person directly. No inappropriate behavior is acceptable regardless of the diagnosis or label applied. Each person needs to be held accountable for their choices, which is part of their healing process as well. Ignoring or appeasing behaviors is detrimental to the person and we are doing that person a disservice.
I work with a 17 year old child with aspergers syndrome around 45+ hours per week. I complete various tasks such as homework and cleaning his room with him. We engage in other fun activities when his homework is finished such as games, tv, etc. My problem is the fact that he is spoiled on top of having the disorder.
This child has tubs and tubs full of video games (one of his obsessions that stem from aspergers) and is rewarded for so much that he doesn't deserve.
To start, I have to first share my belief on such disorders as aspergers that do not fully handicap people from completing basic tasks. I believe that with certain boundaries and rules, this child could learn to complete basic functions with a reward at the end of the road. For example, a child with a fixation on television could be trained to clean her room for ten minutes of television time. This has been a success for many families in my area who have children with aspergers.
Now on to my situation...the child i work with has anger issues, failure to cope with stress and letdown, obsesses on various things such as games, toys, tv, porn, and has countlessly stalked many young girls in the area on facebook, myspace, and by the use of telephone. He does not clean his room, he leaves food on his floor, and will not wash his hands or flush the toilet.
My theory is that more of his mental issue is from being spoiled rather than the disorder. He has unlimited reign over what he does-if he wants to stay home rather than go with his family, he simply knows to throw a tantrum, break things, rage, threaten or physically attack his parents or myself. If he doesnt get his way he stares down his "opponent" and threatens them, then casts spells on them.
I dont believe that his problem is stemmed from the disorder in this manner. The reason is this: if the child asks for a new movie, game, or toy, his parents give him the money without question. If he wants to do something and they say no, he throws a fit and then they give in.
I would like to make note that these fits are none like i have seen before. He screams, stomps, throws things, punches people, runs away, all without any consequence whatsoever. His behavior goes unpunished and has spread to school, home, public places, and also my care.
Most recently, the child screamed and threatened a 7 year old over who won an air hockey game.
In no way is this child an idiot-he is very capable of becoming a low level member in society if only he was trained to do so. His education competency level has been tested at around 5-6 grade level but his testing time was the shortest compared to other tests, this is due to his lack of interest in anything other than what he wants to do.
I will continually update this thread with more drama as the week progresses.
As a young adult with Aspergers , i can say that most of that sounds like a Classic example of Aspergers. I don't have the Angry issue anymore after going through an intense 1 year program. I have also slowly have been trying to enter the world buts its tough, on Saturday i will ride the Train by myself to the City to film. My first time alone. I have also learned whats right and whats wrong......so i wouldn't do anything stupid. I have molded my obsession into a safe and fun hobby , which has taught me to interact on a smaller scale with ppl. Up to a few years ago , i was the messy room , lazy and rude kid , but slowly i turned that around. Sounds like he needs to be placed into a program before something bad happens....Its sounds like hes been way to spoiled , i was too. After i got out of the Program , It was easier to deal with life and not being spoiled. On Top of that , i'm gay aswell ...... I had to coupe with multiple issues. Lucky i have found alot of ppl with aspergers through my hobby and we help each other out. I'm pretty smart too , just can't inject it into everyday life all the time. My IQ is 108. A few Questions , how do you know he stalked these girls? Was it online or offline? Does he have any other medical problems? Does he stay to himself?
Have we determined what relationship the OP has with the 17 year old?
My son has AS (mildly) but he is also on the honor role, does chores and has to follow family rules. When meltdowns happen, we deal with them.
Now about videogames and AS...too many of these kids are obsessed with them and they really need limited time with games. In our house I set half an hour rules (you can play half an hour then have to read or do something 'non' media). This goes for tv time or computer time as well.
I am afraid the OP is either 'making this up' to get a rise out of those of us with AS kids or he is exaggerating that AS made this teenager the monster he 'appears to be.' It's pure neglect, lack of rules and spoiling that can turn ANY child into a spoiled brat.
Your thread title implies disrespect for this child and the AS disorder. I wonder if you are even a 'professional' or just a baby sitter. What do you actually have to do with this teen/what is your role?
My point was that the behaviors the OP described this 17 yr old exhibiting are unacceptable for any child. Some may be attributable to a mental illness, some may not... but regardless they do not appear to have been addressed by anyone, ever. I'm sure this child didn't begin these inappropriate behaviors overnight.
Or they were not addressed well, or effectively. It's hard to believe that none of the behaviors have never been addressed. It could very well be that what was done was not enough, or the right thing. Or the parents gave up. We don't know enough about theparents to be able to tell if they let everything slide.
Have we determined what relationship the OP has with the 17 year old?
My son has AS (mildly) but he is also on the honor role, does chores and has to follow family rules. When meltdowns happen, we deal with them.
Now about videogames and AS...too many of these kids are obsessed with them and they really need limited time with games. In our house I set half an hour rules (you can play half an hour then have to read or do something 'non' media). This goes for tv time or computer time as well.
I am afraid the OP is either 'making this up' to get a rise out of those of us with AS kids or he is exaggerating that AS made this teenager the monster he 'appears to be.' It's pure neglect, lack of rules and spoiling that can turn ANY child into a spoiled brat.
Your thread title implies disrespect for this child and the AS disorder. I wonder if you are even a 'professional' or just a baby sitter. What do you actually have to do with this teen/what is your role?
I highly doubt he is making this up. Its too detail, like the kind of thing you can't just troll.
And I don't think he is being disrespectful to the disorder or the child....I think he simply asked with the title if this is the child's aspergers or if it is the kid "milking" his disorder to get away with what he wants, therefore being an "ass".
I am no specialist in any of these areas but I did have a kid with aspergers in my math class senior year and while he was well behaved he talked a lot during class and was very unthoughtful about where he put his things. ex: sticking his back pack under my section of the table and getting pissed if I moved it, while I am short(5'3'') and have short legs im not an elf and my do legs extend over the chair and onto the floor...so the back had to be moved.
I dealt with this kid doing nothing but talking about guns, spreading his books of guns out on the table and constantly talking to me about guns.
He could have been TAUGHT how to act and how to be considerate, yet not even the teacher would get onto him for talking in class.
Like I said i'm not a specialist and I do not know how to work with these kind of kids....and as a senior in high school nor did I have the patience.
After me moving his backpack multiple times and ME putting in the PROPER place didn't work, I finally would take it and stick it in the hallway ( I sat next to the door.) After about a week of that he kept his back pack where I couldn't reach it. Now, let me mention something, he kept ALL his school stuff in the backpack, so it was about a ft and a half from back to front, 2 ft across and about 2 and a half ft from top to bottom. So yes it did get in the way.
As for the talking inappropriately in class like during lecture and while we were working on homework, ( I was having a horrid day, been crying all morning etc) I finally snapped on him, and yelled in class "SHUT THE HELL UP I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE DAMN BOOKS". Needless to say he never talked in class again when he wasn't suppose to. While it definitely wasn't the appropriate or mature thing to do it sure stopped the behavior.
Moral behind my story is you CORRECT the behavior and you don't let him walk all over you. You stand up for what you are doing.
Ex: He doesn't want to do his work and keeps getting up, you take and him sit him back down, each and every time. He hits or throws books you send him to his room to sit and cool down and you MAKE him stay there for however long. Take his door off. Make him sit on the bed etc.
The behavior he is showing is manipulative and people can only WILLINGLY be manipulative, he knows damn well what hes doing when he does the things he does mistermister and you better damn well let him know its NOT appropriate.
let me bring another light onto it... Ever watch Big Bang Theory? Sheldon is what I would dx from the show, even though there are no "official" dx mentioned in the show... as ASD. Extremely high functioning (as is the case with most aspergers dx's)
Do you see how he just does not "get" social reasoning? You can train these children to be trick ponies, but you will not train them to "get" social cues. Looks of disgust, impatience, and even anger are completely lost on ASD kids.
That is completely different from death threats.
BTW, mistermister, what is your training background?
Location: An overgrown 350K person suburb of Saint Paul
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I was going to give a "horses mouth" observation since I'm DXed with the disorder too, but looks like a few other people beat me to it. But hey, the more, the merrier!
IMHO, it sounds like the "child" (He's nearly 18 so he's no longer a child) isn't being trained how to become a man from his parents. What parent buys their children buckets of video games and lets them sit on their computer looking at nothing but ****? It's time this kid gets himself a mentor, preferably a hard nosed mentor and who is also on the Autism spectrum and sets him straight. He's going to have to learn that people aren't going to care for him for the rest of his life and to get a skill or else he's going to be in a home or hunting rats for the rest of his life, and that's if he's lucky. That being said, he has a gift in his disorder. He has an eye for detail, patterns and an idea of how things work, even if he doesn't know it. He could become a technician or a programmer of some sort instead of being a misanthrope that sits on his bed all day fapping his life away.
I don't think you can help him. I don't think another person can help him, except for a higher functioning aspie that's made the leap into functionality. Get his lazy @ss parents to get off their butts and find an Aspie mentor.
He also needs some behavioral therapy and somebody to tell him that certain things are wrong and why they're wrong. His parents won't tell him, and personally, I don't think you're capable of telling him. He needs another aspie, not a judgmental NT.
One more piece of advice I have for the young aspie: Stay away from women. This is going to sound highly sexist, but it's very true. Women are not too keen on most Autistic tendencies and usually get freaked out easily by them. Even my AS girlfriend hates hanging out with women for that same reason.
And BTW, to that guy that said he was a pervert, keep your judgments to yourself, you intolerant troll. He has as much of a concept of interpersonal skills as you do about psychology.
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