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Old 05-03-2010, 09:15 AM
 
4,502 posts, read 13,442,750 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
So if you named your kid Bartholomew you'd want them to embrace it and WANT to be called my their formal name in school....so all the other kids would have a field day tormenting them?

Instead of picking a nick name and going by that.

If I had a name that was like that, I wouldn't answer to it either.
When I was in school, we did have children with uncommon names. When the teacher took attendance or called on one of them, sure there was a little giggling at first but after a while, everyone was used to hearing the name and it wasn't funny anymore. At any rate, on the playground or at lunch time, we would call them by whatever their shortened name was (like "Barry" for Bartholomew)

If parents find a name distasteful to them or if they feel their child will be picked on because of it, then why give them the name??? Instead of naming your child "Bartholomew Monroe Smith" .... why not name him Michael Bartholomew Monroe Smith"???? You don't use middle names so the double middle name won't get in the way and you're still honoring whoever it might be you want to honor with the name and at the same time giving your child a name they can live with.
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Old 05-03-2010, 10:02 AM
 
14,780 posts, read 43,547,485 times
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I find this funny because for every year I was in school from Kindergarten through college every teacher would start out the first day with the official role and when they called on you to start familiarizing themselves one of the first questions was always, "what do you prefer to go by?" My name is Edward and it went from Eddie to Ed over the years, but I never sat in a class being called "Edward" or forced to write "Edward" on my homework. School is, for the most part, an informal setting. Still "official" tests like the SAT or others required the full legal name.

As for the respect issue, respect is a two way street. The least a teacher can do to show respect for a student is refer to them by the name that they prefer and use on a daily basis. To force someone into using their formal name just for the heck of it is really nothing more than a power trip and serves no useful purpose other than making a student conform to the teachers standard for the sake of conformity.

If one of my children came home with this "problem" I would contact the teacher and ask for a really good explanation as to why my child can't be called by their preferred name. If no good reason was forthcoming, then I would be having a chat with an administrator with the full understanding of what a horrible waste of everyone's time this is.
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Old 05-03-2010, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
881 posts, read 2,247,974 times
Reputation: 943
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
I find this funny because for every year I was in school from Kindergarten through college every teacher would start out the first day with the official role and when they called on you to start familiarizing themselves one of the first questions was always, "what do you prefer to go by?" My name is Edward and it went from Eddie to Ed over the years, but I never sat in a class being called "Edward" or forced to write "Edward" on my homework. School is, for the most part, an informal setting. Still "official" tests like the SAT or others required the full legal name.

As for the respect issue, respect is a two way street. The least a teacher can do to show respect for a student is refer to them by the name that they prefer and use on a daily basis. To force someone into using their formal name just for the heck of it is really nothing more than a power trip and serves no useful purpose other than making a student conform to the teachers standard for the sake of conformity.

If one of my children came home with this "problem" I would contact the teacher and ask for a really good explanation as to why my child can't be called by their preferred name. If no good reason was forthcoming, then I would be having a chat with an administrator with the full understanding of what a horrible waste of everyone's time this is.
I agree 100%, In fact my current job asked on the paperwork I was filling out what my preferred name was. Unless it's some sort of official/legal document most people I know in these type of situations just use their preferred name. I find it surprising a teacher would even make an issue of it.

Just as another example we have several Chinese and Korean students who have English names they use on a regular basis. In fact in my previous job I had a lot of interaction with Asian vendors and many of them used their English names with us.
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Old 05-03-2010, 10:38 AM
 
758 posts, read 1,867,911 times
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I'm not sure why the teacher would make an issue about it, but some teachers are more formal than others. Could be their training or just their upbringing. My first guess would not be that it is a power trip, but some people like to perceive power trips in anyone that does things in a way that they would not or that they see as useless.

I'm also not sure why the kids or the parents would make a big issue over it either, sounds pretty childish to me.
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Old 05-03-2010, 03:31 PM
 
Location: IL
381 posts, read 839,345 times
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This is a childish thread.
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:11 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,147,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
It's the parent's responsibility to make sure the child's right name is used in school. My son goes by his middle name & it is increbily easy to make sure this happens. As for the parents telling their children to do something such as ignoring the teacher, well, that is just poor manners. All the parents have to do is make a phone call. Teacher doesn't want to cooperate? Talk to the principal. But to promote retaliation is just as bad manners as what the teacher does...thus, no one is showing anything to the child.

And it takes about 2 weeks to get names down. It's not rocket science

As for the point of this thread...don't get it...so some parents want their children to spell out & know their complete name. Yep. I'm one of them. Again, in the school setting he has learned his complete name but is called his middle name & writes his middle name. But we do make sure he practices his full name on a regular basis. Call Oprah and sign up my son for parental abuse segment.

Definition of overbearing: making sure your child knows how to spell their complete name
No, actually by the time a child hits kindergarten they should be fully capable of saying "I go by Alex not Alexander", problem solved.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
I find this funny because for every year I was in school from Kindergarten through college every teacher would start out the first day with the official role and when they called on you to start familiarizing themselves one of the first questions was always, "what do you prefer to go by?" My name is Edward and it went from Eddie to Ed over the years, but I never sat in a class being called "Edward" or forced to write "Edward" on my homework. School is, for the most part, an informal setting. Still "official" tests like the SAT or others required the full legal name.

As for the respect issue, respect is a two way street. The least a teacher can do to show respect for a student is refer to them by the name that they prefer and use on a daily basis. To force someone into using their formal name just for the heck of it is really nothing more than a power trip and serves no useful purpose other than making a student conform to the teachers standard for the sake of conformity.

If one of my children came home with this "problem" I would contact the teacher and ask for a really good explanation as to why my child can't be called by their preferred name. If no good reason was forthcoming, then I would be having a chat with an administrator with the full understanding of what a horrible waste of everyone's time this is.
Same here and with my kids. We have never had an issue where a teacher wants to call them something else--well, one teacher made up nicknames for all the kids but the kids thought that was really funny so it wasn't a big deal.

I think some people must have really difficult lives if this is an issue they have to "deal" with to begin with.
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Old 05-04-2010, 01:01 PM
 
8,652 posts, read 17,202,028 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
My parents raised leaders, not followers.


My father never tollerated teachers on power trips.

Regardless, she never called attendance. This was simply an issue during class participation.


Sadly, I was named after both grandmothers. My mother chose the first name that had the least offensive nickname.

Trust me. My formal first and middle names are very ugly names.

Terrible names are part of the territory when coming from wealthy families.
Sounds to me as they may have been raising a fool!

You may need to inform your father that calling a person by their given name is not a power trip!

It sounds as if maybe your whole family is on a power trip, if you get the drift!
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Old 05-04-2010, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,953,074 times
Reputation: 3325
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houston3 View Post
Sounds to me as they may have been raising a fool!

You may need to inform your father that calling a person by their given name is not a power trip!

It sounds as if maybe your whole family is on a power trip, if you get the drift!
No but calling someone by their first name AFTER they have told you they go by something else just because you are a teacher and can do so is a power trip.


My brother never in his whole entire life has gone by his full name.
I don't have a name I can shorten but I have thought many times about going by my middle name since my first name is so uncommon and I like my middle name as well.
Next time I move, I actually plan on telling people I go by my middle name and not my first and i'll have people call me that.
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,683,556 times
Reputation: 1235
If this is what passes for overbearing and controlling then I guess I'm an abusive parent because I don't allow my daughter to write the shortened version of her name. I guess if she wanted to she could report me to social services, hell Oprah and Tyler Perry could make an Oscar winning film out of this "horrid abuse" I put my child through.
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Old 05-07-2010, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,953,074 times
Reputation: 3325
But why do you not let her write it out?
What's the logic and reasoning behind it?
What age will it continue to?

Surely you arent doing it for laughs and surely it won't continue into her teens or till 18...

Id really like to hear back from you.
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