Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ya think? I've gone back and read all the pages. Seizures... ...what exactly are we (you) dealing with here? I knew a guy co-worker, obviously he had made it to civil servant level and was independent but he was a very sad character. No confidence, took crap all day long from his superiors and everyone else. Had seizures. Hell of a nice guy too. Were you always Mr. Joe Conservative or did you have your wild time? Did you screw with your chromosones via illicit mood alterers? His difficulties could all be your fault. Telling us about the low down passive aggressive stunts you pull kind of has the effect of galvanizing reaction against you. Yet there are your supporters. Curious that. The young people of America are in more trouble than I knew with this level of parenting acumen present in this random sampling.
H
As I stated before when I was his age I had already started the job I currently hold (Law Enforcement). I have NEVER taken nor will I ever do drugs, I don't drink, and I didn't get the best grades in school the first time I went to college. I have always worked since I was 14. I have never been fired from a job, and if I don't suffer from seizures. I'm really a nice guy till crossed and then it only has to be once and I will handle my business accordingly. I admit I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, but I feel men don't have the luxury of being touchy-feely they have to make some of the tougher decisions that need to be made within the family unit.
Read the whole thread, your son reminds me of myself at his age. I barely made it out of high school, stayed out of high school with hardly any income or a job.
One day my mother says to me that the rent it due, she wants $50 for the week! I was pissed! I thought how thoughtless she was, what a ***** she was, how could she, etc. The rule in my house was either get a job or go to school. I managed to get a job making above minimum wage and was happy there. Worked there for two years almost and realized I was a "lifer" there if I didn't go back to school.
I went back to community college and got my degree and started working.
The turning point for me was my mother giving me the ultimateum. 20 years later, I still have my 2 year degree, I am an honest, respectful father and husband and have held the same job for over 15 years pulling in right over 6 figures a year.
Most importanly ...... I Love my Mom and it wasn't later in life until I realized she did what she did because she loved me.
Give him an ultimatum and continue to love the kid
Read the whole thread, your son reminds me of myself at his age. I barely made it out of high school, stayed out of high school with hardly any income or a job.
One day my mother says to me that the rent it due, she wants $50 for the week! I was pissed! I thought how thoughtless she was, what a ***** she was, how could she, etc. The rule in my house was either get a job or go to school. I managed to get a job making above minimum wage and was happy there. Worked there for two years almost and realized I was a "lifer" there if I didn't go back to school.
I went back to community college and got my degree and started working.
The turning point for me was my mother giving me the ultimateum. 20 years later, I still have my 2 year degree, I am an honest, respectful father and husband and have held the same job for over 15 years pulling in right over 6 figures a year.
Most importanly ...... I Love my Mom and it wasn't later in life until I realized she did what she did because she loved me.
Give him an ultimatum and continue to love the kid
Good post - with the emphasis on LOVING the kid (and remembering to tell him so at least once a week)
As I stated before when I was his age I had already started the job I currently hold (Law Enforcement). I have NEVER taken nor will I ever do drugs, I don't drink, and I didn't get the best grades in school the first time I went to college. I have always worked since I was 14. I have never been fired from a job, and if I don't suffer from seizures. I'm really a nice guy till crossed and then it only has to be once and I will handle my business accordingly. I admit I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, but I feel men don't have the luxury of being touchy-feely they have to make some of the tougher decisions that need to be made within the family unit.
It almost feels like this is a put on. How do you say "stick up your arse"?
Hey, your son is not you and you are not him. Are you just like your father? Did your father make you feel like crap if you didn't do what HE expected of you? Were you afraid to do what you really wanted? Let me guess, Dad was in law enforcement too? Sorry dude. I just don't connect with you at all and I have an under-achiever at home too. I cannot make him do anything but try to point him in the right direction hoping he will find his way. Some kids just have to go to the college of hard knocks to try life out on their own and don't necessarily fit in the round hole. Life is harder for them, but that is the road they choose when they don't go to college or finish. Besides putting a roof over his head and food in his mouth you are suppose to love him unconditionally! You make being his father sound like an obligation, not a choice. I truly wish you and your family get it together for the benefit of your kids.
Read the whole thread, your son reminds me of myself at his age. I barely made it out of high school, stayed out of high school with hardly any income or a job.
One day my mother says to me that the rent it due, she wants $50 for the week! I was pissed! I thought how thoughtless she was, what a ***** she was, how could she, etc. The rule in my house was either get a job or go to school. I managed to get a job making above minimum wage and was happy there. Worked there for two years almost and realized I was a "lifer" there if I didn't go back to school.
I went back to community college and got my degree and started working.
The turning point for me was my mother giving me the ultimateum. 20 years later, I still have my 2 year degree, I am an honest, respectful father and husband and have held the same job for over 15 years pulling in right over 6 figures a year.
Most importanly ...... I Love my Mom and it wasn't later in life until I realized she did what she did because she loved me.
Give him an ultimatum and continue to love the kid
Congrats on how great your life has turned out. Makes me feel like there is hope for my kid.
Somehow as kids become adults their parents suddenly seem smarter
Don't ANY of you remember his previous thread regarding his son not taking responsibility for his own health regarding his seizures, and some other slacker issues? How his mom protected him? How in the end, he hid behind his mom's skirt only to "F" her over by telling her he didn't really care about her or what she thinks? That he was just using her skirt to avoid being held accountable by dad? How mommy didn't have the sense to be angry that, but only hurt and ended up crying over it to her husband? She still hasn't learned. Mom is a detriment to this kid becoming a man. Again.
The kid is a slacker and as long as he's in dad's house, dad's rules take precedence.
Dad, you're not wrong in expecting him to take charge of his own life and set a track for growing up and moving out. If he doesn't want to work or go to school, fine. He can do that in his own house and dime.
Don't ANY of you remember his previous thread regarding his son not taking responsibility for his own health regarding his seizures, and some other slacker issues? How his mom protected him? How in the end, he hid behind his mom's skirt only to "F" her over by telling her he didn't really care about her or what she thinks? That he was just using her skirt to avoid being held accountable by dad? How mommy didn't have the sense to be angry that, but only hurt and ended up crying over it to her husband? She still hasn't learned. Mom is a detriment to this kid becoming a man. Again.
The kid is a slacker and as long as he's in dad's house, dad's rules take precedence.
Dad, you're not wrong in expecting him to take charge of his own life and set a track for growing up and moving out. If he doesn't want to work or go to school, fine. He can do that in his own house and dime.
I completely agree with this in general but there is more going on than meets the eye. Makes me wonder if father in son have ever had a relationship where they did father/son activities together? Ever close? Did his son ever look up to him or maybe just fear him?
You mean the other thread where the OP did nothing but complain about what a loser his son is? I don't remember his son telling his mom that he didn't care what she thought....and he was just using her to avoid dad....
This OP complains about his son (here), his wife(in the Relationships forum) - everyone but he and his daughter who are both apparently perfect.
I read resentment in your posts SKP. Resentment for your wife and resentment for your son. I have a lot of family and friends that are LEO's. This is a common issue I see time and again with the kids in those families of LEO's. You are a strong forceful personality that has dominated your son from childhood. Your Daughter is different because she is a daddy's girl. Your son appears to be suffering from a lack of confidence because in his mind he can never please you or come close to being the man he sees in you. Some of your actions while well intentioned were subversive strikes of anger. You were lashing out at your son. Your family needs outside intervention. I would not be wasting your time on these boards with this problem. You are going to force your family to take sides. Please seek some counseling somewhere. IMO.
You mean the other thread where the OP did nothing but complain about what a loser his son is? I don't remember his son telling his mom that he didn't care what she thought....and he was just using her to avoid dad....
This OP complains about his son (here), his wife(in the Relationships forum) - everyone but he and his daughter who are both apparently perfect.
Good luck to them all....They need it.
Oh, I remember. It took all I had in me to say, "See, I told you all so!" Meaning he was hiding behind mommy's skirt all that time.
Oh, big deal he complains about his wife in the other forum. Did you notice he's not the only one?
And of course he complains about his son, he's a 20 yr old slacker. Like a dad has never complained about THAT before.
He never claimed his daughter to be perfect. She takes care of business, apparently. Sonny boy doesn't.
Duh.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Mrs
