Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
By the sounds of the horrible reviews this book receives, I think her description of such a horrifying book is accurate. The fact that there are people like the Pearls out there is scary in my opinion....
Unfortunately, the description of the Pearl's book is deadly accurate. Here is a salon article about them and how many Christian parents are now rejecting their book. They were linked to failure to thrive, btw, because of their breastfeeding advice, but I can't find the link to all the sad stories.
I ran into some Pearlites at a fair one time when my children were still children. They had a booth there. I had never heard of them before, so I stopped to see what they were selling. When I saw what they were teaching, I turned to leave. They called out a few nasty remarks toward me, to which I responded that I don't spank. They really let loose at me then, sending one barbed jibe after another until I was too far away for them to continue to abuse me verbally. That really impressed me!
Ever read Dobson's books, in which he tells about beating his dachshund with a belt? His children with a hair brush? Calmly squeezing his children's trapezius muscles until they come into submission?
Point 2: Unless im tragically mistaken a 15 month old cannot be a "brat". I googled the phrase "15 month old" on Google...uhm it looks like a baby.
I'm not trying to be rude, but I really don't think that you can really have a very valid argument based on googling the phrase "15 month old".
Just because they look like a baby doesn't mean they always act that way. Many 15 month olds are into the toddler category at that point. Many are still babies.
I have 3 children and at 15 months they were all very different from each other. I had the one who needed to be swatted on the butt frequently, the one who needed it occasionally and the one who was very much still a baby at 15 months. Every child is different.
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the sex organs, anal region, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at Project NoSpank.
Child bottom-slapping/battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child bottom-slapping/battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD NO VITAL ORGANS THERE
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-slapping/battering instills virtue.
I read through some of your recommended literature, and one of them hit me hard. I had not thought before of my own childhood beatings in that particular way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PDeverit
. . . Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
That needed to be repeated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PDeverit
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
I am so thankful for the "Supernanny" show!
Quote:
Originally Posted by PDeverit
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-slapping/battering instills virtue.
I have seen the statistics for this; I wish I had them to place them here.
My children were very obedient -- not always, but comparatively, they were angels. I have been a non-spanking mother and grandmother. When I got my first grandchild (he will be 21 at the end of this month) there was a forum of non-spanking parents who guided me, educated me, and encouraged me as I learned how to handle a precious child who was extremely strong-willed.
Yes they most certainly can be a brat. They can be developed enough to know when they are doing something wrong yet continue to do it and watch for a reaction. Discipline is necessary and spanking a 15 mo with a diaper on is not the end of the world.
Ok so I was browsing yahoo answers and I came across this question about a wife and husband who have a 15 month old son together they also have a 15 year old daughter from HIS previous marriage who lives full time with them.
The mom has recently discovered that the 15 year old spanks the 15 month old when he is a "brat" and that her dad has given her permission.
The mom is obviously not ok with this and has talked to the husband and he thinks she is being silly about all this and he isn't going to talk to his daughter about it because she babysits for free and should be able to discipline him when she watches him.
The step-daughter told the step-mother that "when he's a brat i am going to spank his butt and my dad said I could."
Ok so, now I am going to rant.
I am an anti-spanker but that does not affect this because I can think logically beyond my own opinion.
My opinion: If you are going to spank that it should be after age 5, when the child can understand WHY it is happening, any younger and you need to just redirect their attention with a pop on the hand or removing them from the situation and no older than 9, some girls get their periods at that age etc and that after age 9 grounding/time out is very effective and you can reason with a 9 year old. Also, a spanking should ALWAYS be over clothes, not pants down, not pants and underwear down, OVER the clothes and it should be no more than a FEW swats. While I am an anti-spanker, I know people have their differences and I cannot control the world and that instead of screaming don't spank till im red in the face, that offering a controlled, set way of spanking so it doesn't cross boundaries, is a logical alternative.
Back to the story.
Point 1: 15 months old is STILL a baby and uhm I'm sorry but wtf would possess someone to spank a baby. IMHO it is WAY to young to spank if you are a spanker. You all, well most, have children and you all know what a 15 month old looks like and how they still are a baby and baby sized etc. This leads me to point 2.
Point 2: Unless im tragically mistaken a 15 month old cannot be a "brat". I googled the phrase "15 month old" on Google...uhm it looks like a baby..
My friend with the crazy scary parents have a baby who is 12-15 months old and when I was in the house the other day I saw the baby. Who was just that, a non speaking, waddling baby, who shrieked at things he wanted, like to be picked up etc. He didn't use words and had that oblivious babyness non-coherent of the his surroundings babyness....that's the best way I can explain it. As far as I am concerned, a 15 month old is not developed enough to have an attitude or be a "brat".
Point 3: The step-daughter told the mother "when he's a brat i am going to spank his butt and my dad said I could." she basically told her step-mother what SHE was going to do in her PARENTS home with a baby that is NOT her own. Oh hell no. Where does this girl get off telling her step-mother what she will or will not do to her baby step brother?
If the girl said I am not going to bed at 10pm and I am going to go to bed when I feel like, go ahead beat your chest all you want. I did that at 15. I had an attitude and I said what I was and wasn't going to do, "well im not going to bed", "i'll text whenever I want to", "I'll get off the computer in 10 minutes". Etc.
But if she thinks she is going to tell her step-mother I am going to spank your son whether you like it or not, *refrains from swearing* she's got another thing coming.
I am astounded at some of the advice the people of yahoo gave to this woman.
*Deal with it and accept the step-daughter spanking the son.
*Hire a sitter
I'm with option C, tell the daughter who it is going to be or face some consequences.
Some questions I have
1. Do you think that 15 months old is too young to spank?
2. What do you think about the step-daughter telling the step-mother "how it was going to be"?
3. What solution would you pick?
You say you do not advocate spanking (I am assuming you are talking about normal spanking not beating, for some reason some people are unable to differentiate between the two) yet in the part I bolded you felt like it was appropriate to pop a baby on the hand to get the point across. If you will not spank at all then popping your child on the hand is inappropriate also, either way you are hitting your child.
Hideous! I don't believe in spanking kids, and also don't believe in kids watching other kids...this is an accident waiting to happen. This would be enough of an issue for me to say "okay, watch me and my baby's butt leave you!"....No one spanks my baby!
I have to comment on this. I will make it short... don't spank, it hurts emotionally more than it hurts physically. Discipline is not exclusive to spanking.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Child bottom-slapping/battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
