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I would like some opinions on this matter. My son has a tendency to bring toys to school. Intially we thought that he might be bringing them to play with at recess or during after care. We weren't nuts about the idea, and here is why:
Last week he had a total of 3 action figures taken from him by another student who went into his desk and as well as his book bag and took them. My son told me that other friends of his have been victims as well from this child. When my son asked for the toys back, the kid said that he couldn't find them. I asked my son whether he spoke to the teacher about this, and he said that he did not, because he was afraid that he would go to the office, because they were told not to bring toys to school, as they could get lost or stolen. Keep in mind my wife and I have told him on numerous occasions not to bring toys for those very same reasons. Plus he is there to learn and not play. While my son did in fact break the rules, it does not excuse some other child going through his personal belongings! To me, it's stealing, in which I have no tolerance for! So, after I told my son to handle it, and gave the other kid a couple of opportunities to give the toys back to no avail, I emailed his teacher last week, and finally received a response. She in fact did find a couple of my son's toys in this kid's desk, and was inquiring with the mother of that child regarding another missing action figure to see if they found it. She reiterated the rule about no toys being brought to school, in which I told her that we have emphasized it time and again, and that I wasn't trying to make a big deal, but just wanted my kid to receive his stuff back to bring home. I had given it several days for my son to work it out with this kid, before emailing the teacher. He kept making excuses to my kid that he would "try" or didn't know where they were. Was I wrong? I mean, I'm all about teaching my child a valuable lesson (and I believe that he got the message) but that doesn't give another kid the right to go through my kid's personal belongings! That is stealing, and in my book that is a much bigger issue!
Kids do stuff they're not supposed to do, despite parental best efforts. The beauty of what happened to your son is that he taught himself the lesson. He seems to understand he was wrong and now knows what price it cost him.
You absolutely took the right action by notifying the teacher. Stealing is only the beginning of this other child's problems and the sooner he's exposed, the better, both for him and the other kids.
Yes I agree. Sometimes kids have to learn the hard way! I mentioned this at work, and one person who has children told me that I was making too much out of it, and that my kid shouldn't have brought the toy, and lesson learned. I agreed but I was like "but the other kid stole" and I got the response "Really? He is 7?" So, that makes it OK? NO! You have to put the kibosh on that or the kid will continue to do it, and it will get worse.
I mean, I'm no snitch, nor do I really want my son to be, but for something like this where the kid went into his desk, or book bag. That is a problem!
My first instinct would be to take my child to the other child's house, knock on their door and, in front of his parent(s), ask him why he thinks stealing is OK, and please give my child's toy back. Then I would take my child home and tell him next time he won't be so lucky. Next time he loses what he took to school because he knows it will be stolen, and even though stealing is wrong, it's wrong to take things to school when you've been told not to.
My first instinct would be to take my child to the other child's house, knock on their door and, in front of his parent(s), ask him why he thinks stealing is OK, and please give my child's toy back. Then I would take my child home and tell him next time he won't be so lucky. Next time he loses what he took to school because he knows it will be stolen, and even though stealing is wrong, it's wrong to take things to school when you've been told not to.
That was my first instinct, however; you never know what type of reaction that you may get from the other parents. Which is why I went through the school first, being that it happened on school property.
you did the right thing. you asked your son to handle it first and then talked to the teacher. i realize that the other parent did not know what was happening since the "stealing" child kept the toys in his desk. otherwise, i would hope that parent would wonder where these toys were coming from!
Okay, I believe your contacting the teacher was a good path, but the responsibility is not just hers or the sticky fingered child. Your son has a big part of responsibility in this. Your son took the toys to school. Something I tell my children is that if they take something to school and it gets stolen they're responsible, to either get it back themselves or do without.
By you going to the teacher and retrieving the items, you've absolved your son his responsibility when you give the action figures back. Today it is a $7 superman, in a few years, he will have cellphones and ipods.... these things are easier to conceal and they are more expensive. Are you going to go to his high school math teacher and ask him/her to search through student's belongings to find one of those?
Last edited by rockinmomma; 05-17-2010 at 02:37 PM..
Reason: I can't spell a lick
I agree in that you did the right thing for this first time offense, however I would strongly tell your own child that this was a warning and the next time he brings a toy to school and if he loses it or it is stolen, then he's SOL (clearly not in those words... lol). I don't know the age/grade of your son, but he also must learn to respect school rules.
It kind of seems to me that both kids were in the wrong, however stealing is a bigger issue.
I'm pretty sure that he has learned his lesson. Believe me, we have told him on numerous occasions not to bring toys or other personal belongings to school for the reasons cited. I made sure that the teacher knew this, and I gave my son the opportunity to handle it prior to me getting involved. He attempted to retrieve his belongings and the other kid basically ignored it. So, Ifelt that I had to get involved.
It's a no win situation, because it's kind of like when a 2 kids get into a fight at school. One starts it, and the other defends himself, yet they both get in trouble.
I would like some opinions on this matter. My son has a tendency to bring toys to school. Intially we thought that he might be bringing them to play with at recess or during after care. We weren't nuts about the idea, and here is why:
Last week he had a total of 3 action figures taken from him by another student who went into his desk and as well as his book bag and took them. My son told me that other friends of his have been victims as well from this child. When my son asked for the toys back, the kid said that he couldn't find them.
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I asked my son whether he spoke to the teacher about this, and he said that he did not, because he was afraid that he would go to the office, because they were told not to bring toys to school
Ah so the kid knows the rules.
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, as they could get lost or stolen. Keep in mind my wife and I have told him on numerous occasions not to bring toys for those very same reasons.
And now he knows that he can disobey his parents if he feels like it too.
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Plus he is there to learn and not play.
Disagree. Play is important. School should be fun
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While my son did in fact break the rules, it does not excuse some other child going through his personal belongings! To me, it's stealing, in which I have no tolerance for!
Why. OK for your kid to break school rules and disobey his parents but not to steal Hmmmm.
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So, after I told my son to handle it,
Handle it? how? Is punching OK.
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and gave the other kid a couple of opportunities to give the toys back to no avail, I emailed his teacher last week, and finally received a response.
Finally. I know these slack teachers. They only work till 3pm and have about a gazillion holidays. Plenty of time to respond to pesky parents on matters of discipline
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She in fact did find a couple of my son's toys in this kid's desk, and was inquiring with the mother of that child regarding another missing action figure to see if they found it. She reiterated the rule about no toys being brought to school, in which I told her that we have emphasized it time and again, and that I wasn't trying to make a big deal,
But you are making a big deal out of it.
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but just wanted my kid to receive his stuff back to bring home. I had given it several days for my son to work it out with this kid, before emailing the teacher. He kept making excuses to my kid that he would "try" or didn't know where they were. Was I wrong?
Yes you were wrong.
1. You let the kid take stuff to school that was against school rules.
2. You 'told' your kid to fix it'
3. You waste the teachers time.
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I mean, I'm all about teaching my child a valuable lesson (and I believe that he got the message)
and he learned it all right. He learned
I can do what I like
School rules are not really rules as such. Meerly guidelines that I should consider following.
Mom's rules. Well they are ... er.... well not either.
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but that doesn't give another kid the right to go through my kid's personal belongings! That is stealing, and in my book that is a much bigger issue!
Thoughts?
You asked.
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