Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Okay so I am peeved, that my wife and I are always getting stuck watching her sisters kid b/c her husband is always on call. In my opinion don't have any kids if you can't afford to either have someone stay home and watch them or if you can't pay for day care. Stop leaning on family to just watch your kid all the time. Don't give me the excuse well they will help watch your kid when you have one. Not true, by that time they will have 4 kids and who knows where they will be in life.
My wife won't say anything to them even though it puts a strain on her for grad school. Not even a please or thank you or no money for our troubles.
That's why I say if you can't watch your kid or put them in day care don't have one! Family isn't your personal kinder-care!
Am I being too much of a Richard? anyone else ever have to deal with this before?
You will have to start setting limits. Say no on a few occasions and then build up where they need to find other arrangements or you babysit once in a while. I fell into a situation with my brother and sister n law. They asked me to watch their kids over a summer. I did get paid but it was slave wages. I watched two kids for a 100 bucks a week. I didnt think it would be that bad. A little money in my pocket, I can bond with my nieces, all would be good. After the second week I totally regretted the situation. My SIL felt it was okay to start pulling in major OT. I was at their house from sunrise to sundown.
I felt I was doing them a favor as daycare would have cost them 300 a week but it was very obvious after the second week my SIL felt I was her employee. Little extra tasks were thrown my way like taking care of their pool, doing dishes, laundry, baths and so forth. It got to the point where they expected me to be a nanny, maid and pool girl. When the pool started to go green, little comments were made to me about how I didnt keep the pool up! Okay I dont even own a pool myself so I am not an expert on keeping one clean. Also the kids are devils. I love em but they are handful. Then I noticed my SIL would hide food. I found some soda in the back of the fridge. I poured myself a glass. She was pissed. Apparently the soda was off limits to me. Then other things like I couldnt eat some of her TV dinners. She expected me to eat those .25 cent boxes of mac and cheese. I started bringing my own food, well then the kids wanted it so then i was buying groceries just to take over to their house. I lasted until late August and finally told them they needed to make other arrangements. They went through 4 babysitters in 6 months after I left. Completely ungrateful and I swore I would never get myself in a situation like that again!
We train people how to treat us. and then to turn around and complain about it makes no sense.
Here's a thought: since you don't like kids and you have probably decided not to have any(at least I hope you have made that decision), maybe your wife feels this is the only way she can get some kind of mothering experience. Does that sound right?
Otherwise I would definitely go the caller ID route and don't answer the door if you think they would just drop the kid off unannounced.
Sounds to me your marriage is in trouble if you two can't come to terms with this situation. Also alot of people don't realize how much work grad school takes and they don't respect your time.
I understand completely, when I moved back to my home town last year my sister was calling me constantly to watch her two youngest and in the beginning I didn't mind because I didn't see them such. But after a month it got old really fast I think I took more care of her kids that month then she did. finally I told her listen I'm not your personal nanny service you either need to get a day care or have the fathers take them because I just can't do it. She got really pissed at me and choice words were thrown. She got over it though and we're still sisters.
My wife won't say anything to them even though it puts a strain on her for grad school. Not even a please or thank you or no money for our troubles.
The bolded part above is your problem. If I was in the position that you are, I would leave the house every time they brought the kid over for free babysitting. Your wife is not being fair to you and it seems she will not negotiate on this so the only thing you can do is refuse to be a part of it.
Have you thought about calling the relative and saying "Look, she cant say no to you guys but this is really a strain on our household and her coursework"? At least then they would know that it is not that your wife doesn't mind, it is that she is unable to say no.
I don't know if this matters but they are very liberal and we are very conservative. Which explains my hard line stance in a way and their blindness when it comes to manners.
I'm not sure if it really matters.
But, next time they ask you to watch their kids, tell them that you're planning on attending a Tea Party rally and you'll have to bring their kids along. Ask them to send along money so you can feed them at the rally and buy them a US flag and a Sarah Palin bumper sticker.
Sounds to me your marriage is in trouble if you two can't come to terms with this situation. Also alot of people don't realize how much work grad school takes and they don't respect your time.
Because the wife can't say no to relatives has nothing to do with how their marriage works.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the3Ds
But, next time they ask you to watch their kids, tell them that you're planning on attending a Tea Party rally and you'll have to bring their kids along. Ask them to send along money so you can feed them at the rally and buy them a US flag and a Sarah Palin bumper sticker.
Because the wife can't say no to relatives has nothing to do with how their marriage works.
That's a GREAT idea !!!
yes it does, if the wife knows that her husband is not ok with the babysitting, and he feels he has to leave his own house when the kid comes over, yet she continues to do it; or if the husband feels this way about it and hasn't let the wife know.
yes it does, if the wife knows that her husband is not ok with the babysitting, and he feels he has to leave his own house when the kid comes over, yet she continues to do it; or if the husband feels this way about it and hasn't let the wife know.
I'd agree. If the husband is on here venting instead of having an honest discussion with his wife; or if the wife knows how he feels and continually chooses to disregard his feelings; or if the wife actually likes babsitting more she is letting on to her husband....all those things reflect on a marriage and are fairly significant.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, that my wife and I are always getting stuck watching her sisters kid b/c her husband is always on call. In my opinion don't have any kids if you can't afford to either have someone stay home and watch them or if you can't pay for day care. Stop leaning on family to just watch your kid all the time. Don't give me the excuse well they will help watch your kid when you have one. Not true, by that time they will have 4 kids and who knows where they will be in life.
Okay I dont even own a pool myself so I am not an expert on keeping one clean. Also the kids are devils. I love em but they are handful. Then I noticed my SIL would hide food. I found some soda in the back of the fridge. I poured myself a glass. She was pissed. Apparently the soda was off limits to me. Then other things like I couldnt eat some of her TV dinners. She expected me to eat those .25 cent boxes of mac and cheese. I started bringing my own food, well then the kids wanted it so then i was buying groceries just to take over to their house. I lasted until late August and finally told them they needed to make other arrangements. They went through 4 babysitters in 6 months after I left. Completely ungrateful and I swore I would never get myself in a situation like that again!
Ask them to send along money so you can feed them at the rally and buy them a US flag and a Sarah Palin bumper sticker.
