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What if the girl doesn't mind if her picture is seen by all? Hundreds of people saw her on the beach, why would it be different for people at school?
It's a bikini for heavens sake. I understand wanting to protect the girl, but it's not like she's posing naked..
exactly!If shes confident enough to WANT people to see her in a bikini posting a picture of her and her friends beach vacation isnt a big deal. I don't post bikini pics simply because I don't like the way my stomach looks! I think its worse to post a picture of drinking (even of age) than a bikini. And chances are at 13 shes probably wearing a Roxy or Billabong Bikini, not some skimpy brazilian thong which some might see on a hanger and mistake for an eyepatch.
Well well well .. Its a big bad world out there ! .. im sure some people here know what Photoshop and some image editing softwares are for .. and then there are some pervs who make a mass collection of porn stuffs .. they edit it with the persons face whom they fancy and go ansy pansy .. now if u may not care .. then some other highly skilled guy gets obsessed by those images and try to hack her FB profile .. somehow manage to aquire her address and Lo ! there he stands across the street peeping through the Bino's watching her .. he goes a step further and stalks the girl to school .. try to approach her in a friendly manner .. become her friend .. plans a roadtrip with friends ..camping et al .. i hope u can anticipate where the story is going ..however its not a story from a psycho thriller .. although some of those stories were based on reality .. im not saying that posting pictures would lead to such a tragedy ..but heck possibilities are infinite .. anything can happen anywhere and anytime .. point is to simply be aware of the consequences and take charge of situations under such circumstances with complete attention to detail in a responsible fashion .. as a parent our duty is to guard our kids from such malice thats a part of our society today. However its much much better if we allow our kids a little freedom to be a part of that same society which could be better or worse when we're not around .. and the only way IMO is to incorporate that sense of self assurance that they're truly capable to bear the consequences without any blame on others or even themselves .. thats all
She was with friends on the beach. A public place.
You can let your child post pictures if you like. The OP asked what we thought and I said what I thought. It's not safe. Anyone in law enforcement will tell you that. As adults we have to teach our children how to be safe, and that includes how to be safe on the web.
What specifically is unsafe about it? I am not trying to be difficult, I just have a problem seeing what the issue is here. This is not an inappropriate photo. It's not pornography. It's a picture of someone who is doing a normal everyday sort of thing (going to the beach). Where does the unsafe part come in? What is the potential harm that will come to this girl from posting a picture on FB?
What if the girl doesn't mind if her picture is seen by all? Hundreds of people saw her on the beach, why would it be different for people at school?
It's a bikini for heavens sake. I understand wanting to protect the girl, but it's not like she's posing naked..
Well, obviously all parents have different comfort levels with what they want posted online of their children and mine is different from yours, that's all.
I personally wouldn't want my child posting pictures that can be seen by all, but that's just me. At those ages, they don't have the discernment of what can happen with any picture they post.
I've seen what other kids have posted on their facebook through my teens page - it's disturbing to say the least. And I'm not talking bikini/naked, etc. It's what they are doing.
Bottom line is as a parent you should be watching what they are posting and as a parent, if you aren't comfortable with it, then they shouldn't be posting. The OP said she was uncomfortable with it and wanted opinions. My opinion on that would be, if she is uncomfortable, then case closed. I really wouldn't care what my child thought - the world doesn't end because they can't post a picture on facebook.
That's obviously my opinion. Like I said, we all have different comfort levels. I have a son who doesn't care about all the social stuff that goes on, so obviously I'm coming from a different place because I don't have a child getting upset about what he can't post on facebook.
I don't think teens even remotely understand the implications and I don't think you are being old fashioned.
Double check that the pictures/albums are friends only - not "friends of friends". I would also check that all her settings are that way.
For example, if she has her status set to "friends of friends" and one of her friends comments on that status, it will then show up in the feed of people she is not friends with.
Another problem I've seen is kids tagging others in photos. Once you are tagged, who knows who all can see it.
My son (16) rarely gets on facebook. The other night he had his laptop and happened to be on there for the first time in ages. He turned the computer around so I could see it - there was a photo of a girl from his class chugging beer at a party in his feed. It was not posted by her.
I don't think parents can emphasize enough what one stupid thing on facebook could do down the line.
I personally would not want photos of my daughter in a bikini on facebook, but that's just me. You are right - anyone who can see them can right click and copy it.
I agree with everything here. Just one more thing - even if someone's settings are "friends only", the photos can still be right-clicked on by friends & copy/pasted elsewhere or shared. In other words, the photos can still get around despite a "friends only" setting.
As already mentioned by pp, YOU are the parent and at 15, your daughter follows the rules YOU set. If you're uncomfortable, that says it all. The opinions of strangers who may have completely different parameters of what is appropriate for their teen-aged children should have no bearing on what parameters you set for your child.
What do you all think of a 15 year old girl posting pics of herself on Facebook in a bikini? My daughter & I are having a disagreement about this,& would like others' opinions. Her photos are set so that only friends view them, but still it makes me uncomfortable.
Even adults refrain from posting such pics, except the out of control ones
Well well well .. Its a big bad world out there ! .. im sure some people here know what Photoshop and some image editing softwares are for .. and then there are some pervs who make a mass collection of porn stuffs .. they edit it with the persons face whom they fancy and go ansy pansy .. now if u may not care .. then some other highly skilled guy gets obsessed by those images and try to hack her FB profile .. somehow manage to aquire her address and Lo ! there he stands across the street peeping through the Bino's watching her .. he goes a step further and stalks the girl to school .. try to approach her in a friendly manner .. become her friend .. plans a roadtrip with friends ..camping et al .. i hope u can anticipate where the story is going ..however its not a story from a psycho thriller .. although some of those stories were based on reality .. im not saying that posting pictures would lead to such a tragedy ..but heck possibilities are infinite .. anything can happen anywhere and anytime .. point is to simply be aware of the consequences and take charge of situations under such circumstances with complete attention to detail in a responsible fashion .. as a parent our duty is to guard our kids from such malice thats a part of our society today. However its much much better if we allow our kids a little freedom to be a part of that same society which could be better or worse when we're not around .. and the only way IMO is to incorporate that sense of self assurance that they're truly capable to bear the consequences without any blame on others or even themselves .. thats all
Paranoid much...
Look up the statistics of that actually happening.
If I as at the beach and had a nice body and didn't mind people taking my picture of me in a bathing suit and wanted to post my pictures of my vacation on facebook then I would. I have everything set to friends only and no one but my friends can see my stuff. I only allow people I absolutely trust to be on my friends list.
But if I go to the beach and someone tries to take my picture while I am in nothing but a swim suit, they'll find themselves buried in the sand with their camera shoved somewhere unpleasant....
Don't get me wrong im not fat by any means I am quite small but I am not captain bikini body...one day I will be.....one day...
Paranoid much...
Look up the statistics of that actually happening.
If I as at the beach and had a nice body and didn't mind people taking my picture of me in a bathing suit and wanted to post my pictures of my vacation on facebook then I would. I have everything set to friends only and no one but my friends can see my stuff. I only allow people I absolutely trust to be on my friends list.
But if I go to the beach and someone tries to take my picture while I am in nothing but a swim suit, they'll find themselves buried in the sand with their camera shoved somewhere unpleasant....
Don't get me wrong im not fat by any means I am quite small but I am not captain bikini body...one day I will be.....one day...
Thanks for all the opinions,just what I was looking for. I had a nice talk w/ her, & told her I don't mind a few pics of her w/ her friend,etc., but ( & sorry I wasn't more clear) there were also several of her "posing", trying to "look sexy", you know like girls/women do. Heck I've done it (many years & several pounds ago of course! ) ,I'm sure many have. I just explained to her that for her age, it wasn't appropriate, & I didn't want her to be looked at in that way, & all it would take would be for one of her "freinds" to copy it from her FB and it could be all over the 'net in seconds. Not to mention, she was using Grandpa's camera, who is ALSO on FB, & he is VERY old-fashioned,to say the least!
She understands my point of view, & that I am just trying to protect her & her reputation. She said she looked at the pics again, & if she other girls her age posting pics like that she'd think they were slutty, so she saw my point, & removed them.She's normally a VERY modest girl, & won't even wear those panty-sized short-shorts the girls wear now, nor really tight,revealing tops, so this all was a shock for me! I don't want her to be ashamed of her body, but I do want her to remember she is only 15, & Mom's still in charge, and it isn't cool. SHe is very pretty, tall & thin, & I know many of the girls are jealous of her, & she normally never does anything like this.
Thanks for all the opinions,just what I was looking for. I had a nice talk w/ her, & told her I don't mind a few pics of her w/ her friend,etc., but ( & sorry I wasn't more clear) there were also several of her "posing", trying to "look sexy", you know like girls/women do. Heck I've done it (many years & several pounds ago of course! ) ,I'm sure many have. I just explained to her that for her age, it wasn't appropriate, & I didn't want her to be looked at in that way, & all it would take would be for one of her "freinds" to copy it from her FB and it could be all over the 'net in seconds. Not to mention, she was using Grandpa's camera, who is ALSO on FB, & he is VERY old-fashioned,to say the least!
She understands my point of view, & that I am just trying to protect her & her reputation. She said she looked at the pics again, & if she other girls her age posting pics like that she'd think they were slutty, so she saw my point, & removed them.She's normally a VERY modest girl, & won't even wear those panty-sized short-shorts the girls wear now, nor really tight,revealing tops, so this all was a shock for me! I don't want her to be ashamed of her body, but I do want her to remember she is only 15, & Mom's still in charge, and it isn't cool. SHe is very pretty, tall & thin, & I know many of the girls are jealous of her, & she normally never does anything like this.
Sounds like you're raising your daughter well & she is on the road to being a level-headed young lady. At least you know that when you're not always around to guide her (college, for example), she'll have experiences like this to look back & reflect when making decisions.
Great job, Mom!
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