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He could have done what you did. But that wasn't really my point. My point was you did nothing wrong. It doesn't matter who did it. And I think it could have been done sooner. I probably would have said something to the parent before that though.
Gotcha.
I have actually seen this child away from her mother and she isn't that bad. She's been diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication. Her mom doesn't give it to her on the weekends. And when my friend would babysit, she'd warn her that she's not on her meds so "be prepared". She was fine. It is when she is around her mom and grandparents that she's a mess. I don't think she needs meds. She needs consistent discipline and consequence.
Top it off with her diet being crappy. She is overweight and eats way too many sweets. That might also explain why she's bouncing off the walls.
Enough of my rant. It just annoys me when poor parenting interferes with the joys and quality of life of others. Keep your kids away from the general public if you can't raise them properly.
As a parent of a child with ADHD, I think some parents believe that the medications are cure-alls and negate other approaches. The best results come from a combination of medication and consistent parenting. I also question the mother's choice to medicate sporadically.
But, regardless, I think you were fully within your rights to call a halt to the inappropriate behavior if the mother wasn't responding. As a follow-up, I suggest a one-on-one with the mother in which you discuss your discomfort and ask for changes.
The mother may also be overwhelmed, the child may be disrespecting the mother, very sure her antics are really very cute to everyone so it's good to let her know otherwise.
You handled it well. I find it shocking how so many parents let their children run wild and be complete brats. Just want to smack both of them upside the head sometimes
When I was 7 years old, I was taught to say "yes, sir" and "no, sir" and sit like a lady and not speak unless I was spoken to.
Wow...not speak unless spoken to...I'm sorry but children are human too and should NOT be expected to sit quietly do nothing and say nothing....children don't work like that and NEVER will so the warped society who made up those rules need to reevaluate stuff.
Children have a lot of energy and need to play and run around and little kids LOVE to talk...to treat them like shizzit is a shame..
I had a similar problem with one of my sons back in the 2nd grade, some girl kept hitting him and teasing him, (she probably liked him) , but anyway it went on for a while and you know the drill: boy's aren't supposed to hit girls. So the last time it happened me & my wife went right up to school when it was out, saw the class leaving, I told my son to tell me who it was, I went right over to her and her mother, told them who I was, and looked right at the little girl and said do me a favor, don't ever hit my son again, and I said it really firm, the mother just looked at me like WTF, and I explained to here what was happening. of course she had no clue, and got a little snippy with me so I told HER & her daughter, if your daughter touches my son just one more time, I give him PERMISSION to smack her right back....My wife just looked at me and didnt say a word...
Sorry, I was picked on as a child, I would never in a million years let that happen to any of my children.
anyway.........Miss thing never touched him again.
Consequences for bad/negative behavior... I remember when that used to be the standard way to teach children right from wrong. Today this "radical" form of parenting is considered "child abuse" by the experts.
I have a friend who's niece, 9 years old, is just a chore. I typically decline offers to go to this girl's house because it is exhausting to be around her. I caved and went to a gathering at this little girl's home this weekend. She really likes my son, who is grown and great with kids. However, he is skiddish when it comes to too much contact, knowing how it can be misconstrued as something less than innocent, especially with little girls.
This little girl has a nasty habit of kicking and slapping, pushing and shoving. She'd jump on him when he was sitting down, grabbing at his shirt, wanting to wrestle. He'd tell her to "please" stop, she wouldn't listen. Her mother would tell her to quit, she wouldn't listen. She was literally told 7 times, between my son, my friend and her mother, to stop. She wouldn't. I finally called her by her name and motioned her over to me. I calmly told her that 7 times was more than enough for her to get the message and that she had better keep her hands to herself or we would not be coming to visit her anymore. She gave me the look of death and walked away. LOL.
On the ride back, my friend told me I was a little hard on her. This is what they're used to in their family (wresting, horse play) and that it's really not her fault. I told her that I don't care what they do to each other. It is not acceptable for her to be hitting and kicking people to begin with, let alone after being asked and told 7times to stop. Not everyone raises their kids to do this and not everyone is going to accept it because this is what she is "used to". She shrugged. I can tell she was offended. She'll get over it....or not.
7 times. After the second, I would have sent her to her room. Something. How would you have handled it?
It wouldn't hurt my feelings one bit if I was never invited back there.
I had the really good friend and she had 3 kids. I love the kids, but I wont tolerate disrespect. She would bring the kids to come and visit me. After being there for a while they would start being distructive and I would have to tell her she needs to take her kids and when they could act better they could come back. I wont let kids act up in my house just because their parents dont know how to parent. Or I wont go to their house if they have unruly kids.
I have kids and they dont act like that.
This little girl has a nasty habit of kicking and slapping, pushing and shoving. She'd jump on him when he was sitting down, grabbing at his shirt, wanting to wrestle. He'd tell her to "please" stop, she wouldn't listen.
What would have been more effective is for him to stand up (To tower over her.), look down at her and firmly say, "STOP NOW!!". No please about it.
Saying please is asking, NOT saying please is TELLING. Sometimes kids need to be told.
I have a friend who's niece, 9 years old, is just a chore. I typically decline offers to go to this girl's house because it is exhausting to be around her.
Isn't that sad. It's so much nicer when kids are low impact. It ends up being better for them and everyone. They get invited out. They have friends ask to come over / sleep over and so on.
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I caved and went to a gathering at this little girl's home this weekend. She really likes my son, who is grown and great with kids. However, he is skiddish when it comes to too much contact, knowing how it can be misconstrued as something less than innocent, especially with little girls.
I do too. Morality must not only be it must be seen to be especially with middle aged men like me. I always, absolutely always ensure that I am never ever alone with someone elses kid. ever!.
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This little girl has a nasty habit of kicking and slapping, pushing and shoving. She'd jump on him when he was sitting down, grabbing at his shirt, wanting to wrestle. He'd tell her to "please" stop, she wouldn't listen. Her mother would tell her to quit, she wouldn't listen. She was literally told 7 times, between my son, my friend and her mother, to stop. She wouldn't. I finally called her by her name and motioned her over to me. I calmly told her that 7 times was more than enough for her to get the message and that she had better keep her hands to herself or we would not be coming to visit her anymore. She gave me the look of death and walked away. LOL.
On the ride back, my friend told me I was a little hard on her. This is what they're used to in their family (wresting, horse play) and that it's really not her fault. I told her that I don't care what they do to each other. It is not acceptable for her to be hitting and kicking people to begin with, let alone after being asked and told 7times to stop. Not everyone raises their kids to do this and not everyone is going to accept it because this is what she is "used to". She shrugged. I can tell she was offended. She'll get over it....or not.
7 times. After the second, I would have sent her to her room. Something. How would you have handled it?
If it were my kid being a pain. They would have been pulled up once and if they did it again then they would have been punished. If they had a history of this sort of behaviour, then before the vistors came, I would have reminded them about acceptable behaviour.
If I were somewhere else and it was someone elses kid being a pain, then I would have kept doing what you did. No way would I have been able to disipline or give the kid time out. Just intervene and separate. If it is what they do in that family then the kid does not know that what they are doing is socially unacceptable.
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It wouldn't hurt my feelings one bit if I was never invited back there.
Funny, I do feel sad when I loose a friend or don't get invited. Mybe I am too sensitive?
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