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This depends on your definition of helping out. If teachers or room parents ask us to donate money or materials for a teacher gift bag, parties, raffles, school trips, etc, I'm more than happy to do so. However, if you're talking about donating time to volunteer for the school carnival, organize the school party, chaperone a school field trip, then no, not all parents can or want to do so.
I certainly applaud those parents who donate their time, and I always see the same names over and over again. I can only assume they have the time and/or enthusiasm for it. However, there are some of us that really have no desire whatsoever to be a part of any of this, and even if we did, can't take the time off work.
This depends on your definition of helping out. If teachers or room parents ask us to donate money or materials for a teacher gift bag, parties, raffles, school trips, etc, I'm more than happy to do so. However, if you're talking about donating time to volunteer for the school carnival, organize the school party, chaperone a school field trip, then no, not all parents can or want to do so.
I certainly applaud those parents who donate their time, and I always see the same names over and over again. I can only assume they have the time and/or enthusiasm for it. However, there are some of us that really have no desire whatsoever to be a part of any of this, and even if we did, can't take the time off work.
I agree. There are things I am more than happy to help with - playground cleanup/beautification on the weekend, cleanup crew, sending in snacks, etc...but ugh field trips...endless committee meetings to plan a Kindergarten Graduation (really?)...etc...
I was a den leader this year for 1st grade boys. Never...again...The kids were great, the parents were fine, its just not my area of expertise and I hated planning meetings and began to dread them. Its back to the planning committee for me if anything. Its not that I don't care, its that there are people better suited to doing that job than me. I was cookie mom for my dd's brownie troop and that I *might* do again but boy it was a trying few months.
I think just because you are a parent does not mean you are going to be a good soccer coach, or a patient field day supervisor, or a top-notch organized, positive, enthusiastic room parent. And parents that are not involved at school might be running the soccer league, or sewing costumes for their older child's theater group or something. I think most parents try to help out but some of us are just better suited to lower-key, lower-profile jobs.
I think that it's important to play some role in your children's education, and there's lots from which to choose. I despise...absolutely despise...PTO meetings, but I'm perfectly content to spend hours reshelving books in the library. Likewise, I'm not suited to working one-on-one with kids in the classroom, but I'm more than will to make copies and sort papers. Don't let anybody guilt you into taking a role that makes you uncomfortable or resentful. That's not good for you or for the kids.
Here is what I am struggling with -- Currently out of 23 kids 5 have sent in a card and 1 is my own child.
Can you send an e-mail to the parents saying this? Our class mother did that on multiple occasions this year and it seemed to work.
She collected money to give to the teachers at Christmas and the end of the year. Both times 2-4 days before the final due date, she sent an e-mail saying that she had only received a small # of donations (something like 3 out of 34) and both times she ended up being able to give the 4 teachers who teach the kindergarten at least $100 each.
Can you send an e-mail to the parents saying this? Our class mother did that on multiple occasions this year and it seemed to work.
She collected money to give to the teachers at Christmas and the end of the year. Both times 2-4 days before the final due date, she sent an e-mail saying that she had only received a small # of donations (something like 3 out of 34) and both times she ended up being able to give the 4 teachers who teach the kindergarten at least $100 each.
Maybe the parents have decided to do something other than what the room mother has chosen.
Maybe the parents have decided to do something other than what the room mother has chosen.
You're right, this might be the attitude of some and although I understand it I simply don't get it. My guess in with this class it has to do with apathy.
Personally, I'm not a huge fan of gift cards for teachers, but anytime someone else has made the effort to take up a collection I will support it because I know how it feels when you aren't supported.
A lot of it depends on the area where you live, I think. We've moved a lot for my husbands job and experienced many different scenerios. I'm a SAHM who is very involved in my kids schools so I've seen all ends of the spectrum as well as the in-between areas as well.
When we've lived in low-income or even middle class areas, those schools didn't have the support from parents that they needed because those families either: a) honestly didn't have the money or time to give, or b) didn't seem to understand or want to accept the fact that the schools really do need their help. In situations where you have both parents working, or single-parent homes, it's sometimes nearly impossible for parents to have the time to volunteer. They are always working. Ideally they would make the time, but not everyone has the same priorities, and not every worker has the privilege of a flexible schedule.
It seemed, too, that the lower the general incomes of the families in the area the lower the self esteems of the parents so the less willing they were to step-up to the plate and help out at the school. They didn't seem to realize that even if you don't have the money to give to the school, you can still give your time. All it takes is showing up to help out. I have seen a few very low-income parents help out occassionally over the years, but they never stuck with it. I think they eventually feel "out of place" or outcast because they don't "fit in" with the parents who do volunteer regularly - the wealthier ones or the families who have financially arranged it so that one parent stays home full-time (doesn't work outside the home) and can dedicate themselves to their kids education.
Anyway - we now live in an area that is very blended. We have high-income and low-income families. We have a lot of support. There are still a core group of moms who pretty much run the show, but there is also a huge pool of parents willing to help out whenever needed. And whenever a financial issue arises and money is needed, families always seem to pitch-in and we meet our goals. I think blended neighborhoods and schools are nice in this way. Low-income families don't feel as outcast because they aren't alone or singled out, and the high-income families are humbled a bit and willing to give more. At least, this has been our observation.
You're right, this might be the attitude of some and although I understand it I simply don't get it. My guess in with this class it has to do with apathy.
Personally, I'm not a huge fan of gift cards for teachers, but anytime someone else has made the effort to take up a collection I will support it because I know how it feels when you aren't supported.
It might also just be the kids. I know my sons cram stuff in their backpacks and if it weren't for me sitting down with them every afternoon when they get home from school and sifting through the backpack there's TONS of stuff I'd never receive. Important letters from the school, lunch account reminders, birthday cards their friends give them, work they are allowed to bring home, art projects. One time I found a half-eaten sandwich stuck to a paper machier globe they made in art class that was half demolished because he and his friend had used their backpacks as "shields" after school as they were walking to the bus and... well... you all knows kids.
So it might not be just the parents... it might be partially the kids not thinking about it or following through, too. If you have time, maybe try calling the parents and talking to them one-on-one. That might help?
Our current school zone is fairly well blended though we are not title 1. We have a good mix of big and small families, stay at home parents (both well off and "making it work somehow", young parents, older parents, dual working parents, etc...
There are no more than 350 kids in K-6 and I think that makes a big difference too. Considering how many large families we have at our school (many families have 3-4 kids and several have 5 or 6) that boils down to a relatively small number of families at the school.
Can you send an e-mail to the parents saying this? Our class mother did that on multiple occasions this year and it seemed to work.
She collected money to give to the teachers at Christmas and the end of the year. Both times 2-4 days before the final due date, she sent an e-mail saying that she had only received a small # of donations (something like 3 out of 34) and both times she ended up being able to give the 4 teachers who teach the kindergarten at least $100 each.
we've done similar too. It took a few reminder e-mails to get people to turn everything in, but it happened eventually.
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I know my sons cram stuff in their backpacks and if it weren't for me sitting down with them every afternoon when they get home from school and sifting through the backpack there's TONS of stuff I'd never receive. Important letters from the school, lunch account reminders, birthday cards their friends give them, work they are allowed to bring home, art projects. One time I found a half-eaten sandwich stuck to a paper machier globe they made in art class that was half demolished because he and his friend had used their backpacks as "shields" after school as they were walking to the bus and... well... you all knows kids. 
