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And have you seen how many time I have said I am waiting till my 30's to have kids because I am so focused on my CAREER!
I want my 20's to myself, to date, to go to college, to start my career etc.
I know this wasn't directed at me, but I think you are very mature to even contemplate waiting to have a child until you're ready. That's the problem sometimes w/ young teens. They see a baby like a babydoll, not understanding the lifelong responsibilty. I wish you luck w/ your career.
I know this wasn't directed at me, but I think you are very mature to even contemplate waiting to have a child until you're ready. That's the problem sometimes w/ young teens. They see a baby like a babydoll, not understanding the lifelong responsibilty. I wish you luck w/ your career.
This reminds me of the episode of 16 and pregnant where the (grand)mother says "Do you think it's a cat that just lays around when you aren not around? NO IT'S A BABY"
I know this wasn't directed at me, but I think you are very mature to even contemplate waiting to have a child until you're ready. That's the problem sometimes w/ young teens. They see a baby like a babydoll, not understanding the lifelong responsibilty. I wish you luck w/ your career.
Yep they do. They don't understand how hard it is to have a child and not have a stable career and everything needed to be able to raise a child.
I am waiting to have kids because I want to be able to provide for them.
I want my 20's all to myself to do whatever I want so by the time I am 30, and I feel the need to settle down I won't still feel like I need to go out and live like I have no kids.
Like that one girls parents, they leave the kids at home all the time to go out with friends and they drink and get smashed and live this party life style and are in their 30's raising a 16, 15, 9, 5 and 1 year old. They party hard and the kids step father smokes weed...all because most of their youth and party days were spent raising kids.
Does that mean I am waiting until then to have sex...no A) its too late for me to wait and B) Waiting till 30 to have sex would be stupid and C) I want to have a little fun in my relationships when the time is right.
That means using protection and birth control PROPERLY, which I plan on getting on as soon as I can afford to every month.
So realistically, what do you think is going to happen in a pizza place?
Realistically...probably nothing....yet, 14 year old kids really do still need supervision for the most part.
More guillable parents don't realize that lots of kids play a "role" in front of the parents...and act completely different alone with friends.....I like the idea a PP gave...lots of "couch time" with the parents before anything else.
It's a pretty big leap from going out for pizza or a movie to marriage. I suppose you sent yours to an all girl school too, just so they didn't look submissively at a boy. Be sure to keep them out of the mall until they're grown. There are boys in malls. And church; you know what they say about those church boys... . Talk about submissive. I heard those church boys like submissive girls.
Good grief, you can't keep girls and boys away from each other. And all you nay sayers seem to think they are going to have sex because they are in the same room together.
Get your minds out of the gutter.
Really...you sound like you know me. lol.
I'd never let my kids date a "church" boy!
Mine went to public school and were more into their educations than dating as 14 year olds. Believe me, my daughters are gorgeous, so there were no shortage of boys wanting to go out with them....they were just focused on other things. They weren't "boy crazy".
I was never "boy crazy" either but anytime I ever liked a guy my mom always went into the whole where are the going in life, etc etc, she'd pick out his short comings and just blow them out of proportion and just bash and bash any guy she didn't like. Therefore any guy I liked either didn't last very long or I never got to see them and my mom kept it from going anywhere.
She still does it till this day.
And you know it's really killed me in the guy department. I don't have the social skills with guys that most girls my age have and I always fall into the "friend zone" which is like the Bermuda circle, you never get out.
All her discouragement and negativity has kept me from ever having a long term and serious relationship and I am 20.
Hopefully I can reverse this on my own and be able to have a stable and long lasting relationship, but with the rate of socially awkwardness I have with guys I don't know how well that will go...I mean I can talk with guys and be the best of friends with them but most guys always see me as the little sister or the best friend...
14 year olds going out on dinner dates? No way.. way too young. What the heck happen to just group of friends going bowling or something? Kids are in far too much of a hurry to grow up
It's the parents that push them to grow up way too fast. There's no good reason for barely-teen children to be dating. They're far too young to be looking for a marriage partner, they aren't even paying for their dates the parents are.
It's like the 8th grade dances here -- you expect to see cute kids going to a dance and mostly girls hanging with girls and boys with boys and some dancing but the parents are paying for limosines, prom dresses with some kind of bra to give their little girls lots of clevage, heels and expensive corsages.
You should let the kids be kids for as long as possible - they have their entire adulthood to be like adults.
My 15 year old would much prefer that I pay for a new video game than some date.
How about the girl's reputation? If you don't know this boy well, there is every possibility that he will go back to his friends and start talking ALL ABOUT this date. Then it turns into something else. At 14, you should know any boy pretty well before they are allowed on dinner dates with your daughter. This is why group dating is what should be happening at this time. If something does or doesn't happen, there are witnesses in the same peer group to guard reptuations. Too much too soon. What happens at 16? Do you start letting her go on dates by herself? What will she have to look forward to when she is 17 or 18?
I spoke to my 14 yo and she would rather have her parents say no (and let her off the hook) because no matter how much she liked this guy, she wouldn't know what to do for that long alone with him. She would rather double date or group date until she felt comfortable enough to be in an unsupervised situation for a few hours.
Really...you sound like you know me. lol.
I'd never let my kids date a "church" boy!
Mine went to public school and were more into their educations than dating as 14 year olds. Believe me, my daughters are gorgeous, so there were no shortage of boys wanting to go out with them....they were just focused on other things. They weren't "boy crazy".
My daughter's best friend is a boy. She's not "boy crazy" but they go out and do a lot of things together.
Looks have nothing to do with it. Mine is gorgeous as well, but she understands how relationships work and how to keep things in perspective. There is nothing wrong to spend time with one person that you feel close to.
Why do parents automatically think because two young teens want to go on a date that they are thinking sex, sex, sex, sex? Because the PARENTS are constantly thinking sex doesn't mean the teens are. My daughter has gone out on dates since 14, but the farthest thing from her mind is having sex. She has plans, and sex isn't a part of those plans.
It's the parents that push them to grow up way too fast. There's no good reason for barely-teen children to be dating. They're far too young to be looking for a marriage partner, they aren't even paying for their dates the parents are.
It's like the 8th grade dances here -- you expect to see cute kids going to a dance and mostly girls hanging with girls and boys with boys and some dancing but the parents are paying for limosines, prom dresses with some kind of bra to give their little girls lots of clevage, heels and expensive corsages.
You should let the kids be kids for as long as possible - they have their entire adulthood to be like adults.
My 15 year old would much prefer that I pay for a new video game than some date.
Must be your child is special and perfect.
Honestly, there are a lot of girls in 4th grade looking at boys because they are cute, not because they want sex. When my oldest was in 4th grade, there was a little 2nd grader who had a crush on her. He followed her around like a puppy; not because he wanted to have sex with her, but he liked her personality and she was as cute as a button. It's a natural attraction for girls to like boys and boys to like girls.
My mother made me go to the prom as a sophomore because the exchange student at our school had a crush and asked me. I avoided him as much as I possibly could but we were in a small high school and he was involved in some of the same things I was. It was very awkward.
I didn't date again until I was into my junior year. Then I went out every Friday night on dates. Didn't have a steady boyfriend until halfway through my senior year. Never had sex with any of them. We did some kissing, but nothing past that.
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