Teasing vs. Taunting

[crisan]

Originally Posted by malamute

Light teasing does immunize a child but the difference between teasing and taunting has a lot to do with power plays.

Teasing is among peers, two friends might tease one another or a parent lightly teases a child only to the point the child still finds it amusing. An adult provoking a child to the point that the child can only cry is a bully - no matter if it's a parent, no matter how politically high up the parent.

Jenna Bush seems well-adjusted, pretty tolerant of the politics in her life but we never read of her parents picking at her, taunting her, and reducing her to tears. It's never necessary for a parent to out-right bully a child and torment a child, no matter how much they crave power.

When children are teasing each other, the teasing stops when one side weakens and shows hurt and pain. Bullies will see hurt as a signal to go on at which point it becomes taunting and cruel. Other kids will just back off because they realize they took it too far.

Malamute, that was a great post. You articulated your thoughts very well.

[CA4Now]

Originally Posted by malamute

An adult provoking a child to the point that the child can only cry is a bully - no matter if it's a parent, no matter how politically high up the parent.

There was no bullying, from what I read. Maybe I didn't explain this correctly. Chelsea would cry because she couldn't believe that anyone would say things (that the Clintons would role-play...the Clintons being the media, hypothetical kids at school, etc). They would reassure her but try to get her to realize--as a small child, before she had to confront this--that she would hear some awful and untrue things about her family.

Jenna Bush seems well-adjusted, pretty tolerant of the politics in her life but we never read of her parents picking at her, taunting her...

Right, and she had a sibling. One of the reasons the Clintons did this was because Chelsea was an only child.

[crisan]

Originally Posted by CA4Now

There was no bullying, from what I read. Maybe I didn't explain this correctly. Chelsea would cry because she couldn't believe that anyone would say things (that the Clintons would role-play...the Clintons being the media, hypothetical kids at school, etc). They would reassure her but try to get her to realize--as a small child, before she had to confront this--that she would hear some awful and untrue things about her family.
.

Thank you for mentioning the role-play. I think it is a very important thing for parents to do at home with their children so they can get some "practice."

[lottiecj]

I was spending the weekend with my sis and brotherinlaw. He teases often and sometimes exceeds the limits of human endurance but I have always been able to handle it. I had a very bad migraine and had been vomiting this day and I asked him if I could have a little of his two liter 7up. He said sure. In a few minutes when I felt like getting up to get it I got up and reached for the bottle (i had a glass and was gonna pour a little init). He grabbed the bottle before I could and started laughing and switching it from one hand to the other so I could not get it. Feeling as I did and not knowing when I would throw up, I did not feel much like playing games so I left the room without a word and went into the room I am staying in .... my sister running after me and saying over and over "'he was just teasing" ... but it felt like taunting to me. At any rate I probably overreacted but was a bit shocked that he would pick this time and circumstance to pull this. They went on to town to eat as planned and when they returned I tried to explain but both were just mad and rude and would not listen so I went back to my room. Mind you we are all ... are supposed to be ... adults. I was very upset and don't know what to do now but still feeling pretty bad and am going to bed.

What do you think???

[Irish Eyes]

I think he's a jerk.