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perhaps our neighborhood differs from yours. It's a great time when neighbors come over and swim (if they follow the pool rules). It's no fun to have a pool if only a couple people can enjoy it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Who said anything about being used? The OP does not seem to be complaining that people use her pool, just is questioning rules/enforcement. Many people actually enjoy sharing with friends and neighbors. It does not automatically mean they are being used.
I was answering the above post.
A lot of times people acquire new best friends when school gets out and you get the pool ready. All of a sudden everybody you haven't seen since fall wants to be friendly and come over, "and oh, we brought our suits for a quick swim." Or, "How about we bring over some hot dogs and the kids can swim." Or they come over, swim and go home.
How does "it's a great time when neighbors come over...." equate to being used?
I could say the same about my firepit....it's a great time when neighbors come over to share this with us. Obviously, rules are followed WRT fire....no one is being used in this situation.
I can see both sides of the "being used" situation - as I have been in the situation where everyone in the neighborhood (even kids who were downright MEAN to my son the rest of the school year) suddenly became "summer best friends" so they could swim in the pool. And I have also been in the situation where it made things really nice for relaxing casually with neighbors around the pool.
Some folks are users as are their kids (I guess that is where they saw the example of using others, lol - their parents) - and some people are a joy to have around and the pool just means a good gathering place. If you aren't feeling like you are the Snack Shack and Cabana for an anonymous stream of folks who suddenly are friendly so they can use your pool (wh/ is pretty shallow, lol) . . . then enjoy the neighbors/friends/kids and the summertime pool activities, by all means.
In many areas of the country, most of the folks in a given subdivision have their own pools, or there is a community pool, so these issues just never come up.
The bottom line is: whatever your rules are, don't worry about sticking to them as it all comes down to a liability issue in the end. No one wants someone to be injured on their property and pools can be hazardous if rules are not enforced.
I can see both sides of the "being used" situation - as I have been in the situation where everyone in the neighborhood (even kids who were downright MEAN to my son the rest of the school year) suddenly became "summer best friends" so they could swim in the pool. And I have also been in the situation where it made things really nice for relaxing casually with neighbors around the pool.
Oh it absolutely can happen - no question....just didn't seem to be the case for any of the situations here. No one seemed to have that concern at all....
A lot of times people acquire new best friends when school gets out and you get the pool ready. All of a sudden everybody you haven't seen since fall wants to be friendly and come over, "and oh, we brought our suits for a quick swim." Or, "How about we bring over some hot dogs and the kids can swim." Or they come over, swim and go home.
I call that being used.
I understand what you meant. I wasn't disagreeing with you in general, just reiterating my current situation. :-)
I haven't necessarily experienced the situation you described, though in the past I did have to deal with two children in particular, who, although they were friendly with my daughter all year long, took it as a given that they could come in my pool everyday.
They would show up at my door everyday at noon in their suits with towels and HOUND me and my daughter about what time we were going in the pool! Of course it didn't help that my husband told them they could come in the pool whenever they wanted, which of course, being kids, they took LITERALLY! Of course, it wasn't my husband who had to sit out there with them all afternoon!
Anyway, I put a stop to that rather quickly and informed them they needed to wait until I invited them to swim before coming over, and that seemed to do the trick.
I understand what you meant. I wasn't disagreeing with you in general, just reiterating my current situation. :-)
I haven't necessarily experienced the situation you described, though in the past I did have to deal with two children in particular, who, although they were friendly with my daughter all year long, took it as a given that they could come in my pool everyday.
They would show up at my door everyday at noon in their suits with towels and HOUND me and my daughter about what time we were going in the pool! Of course it didn't help that my husband told them they could come in the pool whenever they wanted, which of course, being kids, they took LITERALLY! Of course, it wasn't my husband who had to sit out there with them all afternoon!
Anyway, I put a stop to that rather quickly and informed them they needed to wait until I invited them to swim before coming over, and that seemed to do the trick.
I think you handled that very well. And sorry, NoExcuses if I was unclear in my post. If my kids invite neighbors over and the kids get the OK from their parents (and seeing that they can follow the rules) I have no problem with that, and my kids have much more fun than they would if it was just them in the pool.
And I agree, I wouldn't let random kids who show up at the door go swimming in my pool.
This back and forth reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Homer puts in a pool. Marge is in the kitchen and armies of kids are parading through the house and none of them even know her name. Lisa is in heaven becasue she thinks she's actually popular. At one point Martin has a pool put in so that people will like him. The kids at the Simpsons say "word has it an even wussier kid has an even better pool" and they all head off leaving Lisa in the pool by herself. At the end of the show Martin is screaming for more kids to get into the pool "more friends, more allies, HO!", until the pool breaks and they all abandon him.
It's a pretty funny episode and may hit close to home for some of you pool owners.
I have a fairly large semi in ground pool 4 1/2 feet deep at one end and 5 1/2 at the other. One rule I am trying to establish this year when my kids' friends come to swim is if a child can not swim across the short end of my pool without having to stop and put their feet on the bottom, then they either have to wear arm floats or have a parent accompany them in the pool. There is nothing to mark the shallow end from the deep.
I had one little girl this weekend who could not even swim halfway across the short end, so I told her she had to wear swimmies for her own safety or that her mom could come in the pool with her and I called her mom. Mom said she could not come in the pool that day and her daughter should wear the swimmies, but the little girl was miserable and eventually got out of the pool.
Just wondering what others do when children who can not swim come in their pool.
This sounded like a lot of kids were in and out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wsop
I understand what you meant. I wasn't disagreeing with you in general, just reiterating my current situation. :-)
I haven't necessarily experienced the situation you described, though in the past I did have to deal with two children in particular, who, although they were friendly with my daughter all year long, took it as a given that they could come in my pool everyday.
They would show up at my door everyday at noon in their suits with towels ...
That's what I'm talking about. Pools are like magnets.
Maciesmom ALWAYS criticizes what I post. We don't like each other much at all. I disagreed on a thread and since then I can't say anything right. If Lovesmountains comes along, she will jump on the bandwagon as well.
My point was that it's easy to get taken advantage of when you have a pool in your backyard. It's easy to get overwhelmed by other's expectations as to the use of your property when you have a pool in your backyard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower
I think you handled that very well. And sorry, NoExcuses if I was unclear in my post. If my kids invite neighbors over and the kids get the OK from their parents (and seeing that they can follow the rules) I have no problem with that, and my kids have much more fun than they would if it was just them in the pool.
And I agree, I wouldn't let random kids who show up at the door go swimming in my pool.
I understand that and agree. INVITED folks are different than those who show up with a towel because it's hot outside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT
This back and forth reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Homer puts in a pool. Marge is in the kitchen and armies of kids are parading through the house and none of them even know her name. Lisa is in heaven becasue she thinks she's actually popular. At one point Martin has a pool put in so that people will like him. The kids at the Simpsons say "word has it an even wussier kid has an even better pool" and they all head off leaving Lisa in the pool by herself. At the end of the show Martin is screaming for more kids to get into the pool "more friends, more allies, HO!", until the pool breaks and they all abandon him.
Maciesmom ALWAYS criticizes what I post. We don't like each other much at all. I disagreed on a thread and since then I can't say anything right. If Lovesmountains comes along, she will jump on the bandwagon as well.
FTR - I don't ALWAYS criticize your posts. Very often we do disagree - but I would say we're pretty even in our disagreeing with each other.... In this particular post, no one was complaining about feeling used and no posts indicated such. ...I was simply responding to this post - not you as a person.
I reckon it is more than having a pool that attracts the kids. Sure some may come initially because of the pool but when they discover rules & structure, some don't come back sure. But others like the structure. And in winter when its too cold to swim, kids still come. Maybe its the toys. Mabe it is because they actually get afternoon tea. In the form of a glass of cordial or water (no fizzy) and a piece of fruit and occasionally a biscuit. Who knows.
But while they are here they are exposed to good behaviour. Respectful behaviour towead each other and toward adults. If they stay for tea then they experience saying grace before we eat and everyone sits down to eattogether and if they stay for a sleepover then the get to do do bed time prayers. For some kids, they have never knelt beside their bed and prayed. So if we are bing used, well, we are putting the experience to good use.
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