Anybody tried to go home gain? (Pittsburgh, Bangor: new home, school, living)

[Tama]

Hi-I was born and raised in the Bangor area, lived in Phila for seven years, and have lived in the South for over 30 years. That places me at retirement age and when all the retirees are fleeing winter and moving south, I am wondering about anyone's experience who went back north after many years in the South. My family is there. Old friends are still there. However, I have grown to love the warmth and the sunniness and the general upbeat attitudes of my southern community. I don't lack for beautiful beaches, entertainment, friends, or goods and services. It is just the family. I want to stop in to have a cup of coffee with my Mom. I want to join in the family fun at Thanksgiving. I want to spend time with all my little grandnieces and nephews. For years I have been away for birthdays, holidays, and family events. BUT-has anyone done this and regretted it. The cold, the dark skies of winter, the icy roads, the sour faces, and the crime--can one "go home again"?

[covebound]

Originally Posted by Tama

Hi-I was born and raised in the Bangor area, lived in Phila for seven years, and have lived in the South for over 30 years. That places me at retirement age and when all the retirees are fleeing winter and moving south, I am wondering about anyone's experience who went back north after many years in the South. My family is there. Old friends are still there. However, I have grown to love the warmth and the sunniness and the general upbeat attitudes of my southern community. I don't lack for beautiful beaches, entertainment, friends, or goods and services. It is just the family. I want to stop in to have a cup of coffee with my Mom. I want to join in the family fun at Thanksgiving. I want to spend time with all my little grandnieces and nephews. For years I have been away for birthdays, holidays, and family events. BUT-has anyone done this and regretted it. The cold, the dark skies of winter, the icy roads, the sour faces, and the crime--can one "go home again"?

You can always take a vacation when the dark gloomy days get you down.
Then you will appreciate that vacation. Sunshine can never replace the family. When you start to feel this way, it's time for you to do what your heart has been telling you. Your Mom isn't getting any younger and being with her and the rest of your family is what matters.
If everybody thought this way, then maybe we would have a better world to live in.
Go home and be happy. We are!

[mm_mary73]

this is what I am dealing with - come back for the time being, start from scratch in a field that may or may not be accepted, or stay where I've been for a very long time. Kids on own, jobs with benefits.

[I LOVE PA!]

I live in Northeast Pa. in a development with many families from NY and NJ. As a matter of fact, I ended up here when my parents retired from NY to Pa. After visiting a year or so, we decided we like it so much we followed them! They were thrilled, knowing that they would see their grandchildren grow up.
In the past 10 years, more and more younger families are moving here, especially since 9/11. There was a time when more than half were retirees. I worked at a local bank for many years. In those years I would meet new couples, recently retired and hear about their love of the area and looking forward to the kids and grandkids visits. The next thing you know, they are selling and moving back because the family that they thought would be visiting their new home in the recreational community was too busy to come and visit. They missed their families and moved back to where they were. I have also seen them go back home quickly when one has a heart attack or gets stricken ill. Family is too far away to help.
My in-laws retired to S.C. from NY and have had some health set backs where we would have liked to be there to help, but it is just not financial feasible, as well as having kids in school. These have been only minor illnesses. My parents are very near me and not in the best of health, I end up in the emergency room at least 6 or 7 times a year with them, and have spent at least 4 - 5 weeks out of every year going back and forth to a hospital everyday for the past 7 years. I don't know what I would do if they were far away and I dread to see what happens to my in-laws when they reach that stage of their life.
I feel being near family is by far the most important thing. I feel so many retirees don't think about that when deciding where to relocate, what happens when they get ill. There is nothing more important to me than living where I can see my family on a regular basis and knowing I can be there when they need me.

[mm_mary73]

Originally Posted by I LOVE PA!

I live in Northeast Pa. in a development with many families from NY and NJ. As a matter of fact, I ended up here when my parents retired from NY to Pa. After visiting a year or so, we decided we like it so much we followed them! They were thrilled, knowing that they would see their grandchildren grow up.
In the past 10 years, more and more younger families are moving here, especially since 9/11. There was a time when more than half were retirees. I worked at a local bank for many years. In those years I would meet new couples, recently retired and hear about their love of the area and looking forward to the kids and grandkids visits. The next thing you know, they are selling and moving back because the family that they thought would be visiting their new home in the recreational community was too busy to come and visit. They missed their families and moved back to where they were. I have also seen them go back home quickly when one has a heart attack or gets stricken ill. Family is too far away to help.
My in-laws retired to S.C. from NY and have had some health set backs where we would have liked to be there to help, but it is just not financial feasible, as well as having kids in school. These have been only minor illnesses. My parents are very near me and not in the best of health, I end up in the emergency room at least 6 or 7 times a year with them, and have spent at least 4 - 5 weeks out of every year going back and forth to a hospital everyday for the past 7 years. I don't know what I would do if they were far away and I dread to see what happens to my in-laws when they reach that stage of their life.
I feel being near family is by far the most important thing. I feel so many retirees don't think about that when deciding where to relocate, what happens when they get ill. There is nothing more important to me than living where I can see my family on a regular basis and knowing I can be there when they need me.

But that's the issue. MY family: children - no spouses/kids yet (NC - 4hrs away driving max) vs. my family: mother, siblings and other extended (NEPA - 9 hrs driving)

[damfinejoe]

Originally Posted by Tama

Hi-I was born and raised in the Bangor area, lived in Phila for seven years, and have lived in the South for over 30 years. That places me at retirement age and when all the retirees are fleeing winter and moving south, I am wondering about anyone's experience who went back north after many years in the South. My family is there. Old friends are still there. However, I have grown to love the warmth and the sunniness and the general upbeat attitudes of my southern community. I don't lack for beautiful beaches, entertainment, friends, or goods and services. It is just the family. I want to stop in to have a cup of coffee with my Mom. I want to join in the family fun at Thanksgiving. I want to spend time with all my little grandnieces and nephews. For years I have been away for birthdays, holidays, and family events. BUT-has anyone done this and regretted it. The cold, the dark skies of winter, the icy roads, the sour faces, and the crime--can one "go home again"?

I am in the same situation as you, except I am in California and have been for 25 years. Everything you have stated, I "second". I have decided to make the move back "home". I feel the time is now, as my family is not getting any younger. My mom passed away 2 years ago and I have been wanting to move back ever since. However, I am easily influenced by the lifestyle I have in California, and that is why it was so hard to leave. I really do love California, but I love my family more. Anywhere is what you make it and for myself, it is all in your attitude and how you choose to live your life. Consequently, I am happy with my decision (I know I will miss CA, but at least I had the opportunity to live in the state for 25 years and I can take the memories and experiences with me wherever I end up) and am looking forward to going back "home". I am not one of those persons who will be comparing Pittsburgh to San Francisco, as they are totally different and each has something to offer. I have had a lot of life experiences and I know I can't predict the future, so the only way I know if I can "go home again", is to just do it.

[Tama]

I kind of thought there would be a lot of folks in this same situation. Could we hear from someone who has already made the move back to the northeast or PA after being in the Sunbelt or on the West Coast. How was the adjustment? Any serious regrets? Did anyone turn around and go back to the South? We would all love to hear from you. I am really scared to death to make this change!

[covebound]

Originally Posted by Tama

I kind of thought there would be a lot of folks in this same situation. Could we hear from someone who has already made the move back to the northeast or PA after being in the Sunbelt or on the West Coast. How was the adjustment? Any serious regrets? Did anyone turn around and go back to the South? We would all love to hear from you. I am really scared to death to make this change!

I am so happy to be going home. We will be out of Florida in 4 weeks. One of our children will be staying here but the other two will be moving up.
Eventually the one that is in Florida will probably follow us up.
So many people move down to Florida then end up leaving. The houses around me have had people move in 2 or 3 times already. You can't build a friendship with people that don't stay. Family is family. You will always have your old friends and family.

[mm_mary73]

Originally Posted by Tama

I kind of thought there would be a lot of folks in this same situation. Could we hear from someone who has already made the move back to the northeast or PA after being in the Sunbelt or on the West Coast. How was the adjustment? Any serious regrets? Did anyone turn around and go back to the South? We would all love to hear from you. I am really scared to death to make this change!

I've been in NC for 29 years, longer than I lived in NEPA. Friends and my young adult, childless, unmarried kids are here, but everyone else is "home".
My father died 3 years ago and I wasn't there - I don't want to make the same mistake with my mother. MY fear is starting a job from scratch in a new environment. My children aren't physicially present, but they're close enough to get to. They fully support the decision if I make it. In your case, simply reading your post, you have few "blood ties" at your current location. I suppose it will all come down to whether or not it feels like the right thing to do. G-D, I could just bawl ('course it's mid-January and 60 degrees and POURING rain)