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Old 02-01-2009, 12:04 AM
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
1,195 posts, read 2,327,671 times
Reputation: 1851


Hello Everyone!

I asked City-Data to remove the previous post about my search for my eldest brother at HIS request! Yes, I have found him!

While I'd only been searching diligently for 10 years, it had been 20 years since I spoke to him - since most folks in my family had spoken to him. Because I am a spiritual person I have to believe that faith & prayer & god's divine will played the major role in this but would be remiss to not thank all those who tried helping along the way & the two women who ultimately connected me with my brother: Hallie & Scarlet.

And, naturally, while I have searched exhaustively elsewhere & have postings all over the internet in my search for him - CITY-DATA is the site that linked everything together. I have to be abundantly grateful for the popularity of this site and the way things posted here come up to the top of most searches.

When these women casually typed in something like: missing, and then my brother's name - POOF - there it was right there!

As it turns out I had many of the details incorrect but enough were close that it made the connection. It seems that for some time my brother may have gotten used to being "missing" & allowed it to be okay with him. I'm grateful that when he realized I was searching so hard for him that it was touching for him to know I cared that much.

That first night we spoke 6, 8, 10 hours on the phone & have talked several hours again in the few days that have passed. He contacted my other 8 living siblings & finding him has really touched them. We being a family with great turmoil - but the greatest thing we have in common (besides blood) is the joy in finding our brother.

I won't pretend it is a utopia. But it is pretty fantastic & I can tell that this will be the first layer in many layers of healing I will go through - we'll all go through. There has only been once before in our lives that all 10 of us have been together - Billy is asking for a family reunion. Who knows what may happen.

He feels a great affection for me & I for him. It must be a nice feeling to know that someone wanted to know you badly enough to search for you for that long. I know it has touched his heart - as he told me so. He wants to begin the reconcilliation process & I am reluctantly open to whatever spirit has in store.

He loves me. He accepts me. He believes in me. These are all things I have gone a lifetime searching for from my family. I cannot ignore this whrilwind transformation.

I believe.

Since he has called all the other siblings, I have had a niece email me with an approach that assumed I was angry or other things that have nothing to do with me. I have been guarded in my responses. Another brother - the middle child - sent me an email that truly touched me to the core because he spoke word for word exactly what I needed in order to reallow any family back in my life: "start from day one & move forward from there" when he said that I knew god had a hand in all of this.

I'd like for Oprah or Dr Phil to get a hold of this story & help us plan this reunion to not only be fun = but to provide an environment that will directly set up a system for us to begin the healing process. Rev Dr Michael Beckwith seems like a great mediator to me. I am putting out into the universe that I'd like some of the best to offer their services for us to make this reunion happen in a healthful way to serve each of our highest good. Heck, and if we could get Colin Cowley to plan the party ascpect of it - it would be more than a dream come true. Anyone have connections?

There has been this outpouring, spiritually, because of this. I've had a niece contact me & now another brother. I'm not certain I am ready for "come what may" but I do trust in divine guidance & now just seems to be the time.

I encourage all of you who are missing a loved one to continue to write to them, post it on the internet in a safe place, don't give too much info to allow crackpots to take advantage of you & keep praying/believing. This is at least a decade in the making.

My brother is clearly excited & touched to feel this genuine love pour into him - who wouldn't be, really? And, he's accepting me as I am. A unique thing in my family.

The other brother, Terry, who also talked with Billy for several hours has been greatly touched by this & could not help but reach out to me asking for a clean slate.

I don't know what else may happen but I do know that if we all choose to approach the other with love, acceptance, non-judgment, & clearly defined boundaries (without being anal about it) - we'll begin the healing process.

BUT, if anyone does have Dr Phil or Oprah connections - I did catch a copy of the deleted thread before it was pulled (as some background) - and I think our story would be perfect for one of Dr Phil's things where he brings folks into some house & forces them to work through their stuff. I do believe that now is the time.

I drone on & on.

IF anyone from City-Data would like to contact me or perhaps my brother or the two women who helped - I'd be happy to contribute some piece of "testimony" or something as promotion for the site.

Anyone who helped me along the way - thank you & feel free to post your thoughts or questions about all this - but PLEASE do not put in his FULL NAME or any identifying info, as those were some of the reasons he wanted the other thread removed.

For anyone else looking for someone whom they've lost contact with - please feel free to ask anything & I will help with what I know - no guarantees - just my best advice.

Be well everyone AND Thank you CITY-DATA (and for removing the thread so promptly out of respect for my brother & our newly developing relationship)!!!

Thank you divine creator!
Thank you everyone...

aisha/ the thinky think.r
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Old 02-01-2009, 12:12 AM
Location: southern california
61,281 posts, read 83,445,089 times
Reputation: 55458
i am so happy for you. i also was reunited with a kid brother unexpectantly whom i had not seen since childhood. what a gift.
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Old 02-01-2009, 11:10 AM
2,634 posts, read 6,064,217 times
Reputation: 4621
Congratulations Think. Hopefully the healing process will make your family whole.
This story is a testament to the hard work the girls on this forum perform.
I have watched through my moderating duties, many connections they have made.
Again I am so happy for you and blessed thoughts to you and yours.
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Old 02-01-2009, 11:49 AM
1,063 posts, read 2,342,310 times
Reputation: 726
That's wonderful news, Think. You might want to try the poster who went by the name of missingfamily09, here on city-data. She said her name is Shea Carpenter and has something to do with a documentary film. Good luck!
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Old 02-02-2009, 12:58 PM
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
1,195 posts, read 2,327,671 times
Reputation: 1851
Default Goodness!

I sure was in a "mood" when I wrote that, wasn't I? lol

I went on & on & on & on. Yeah, & I see it was after a time of no sleep either. Perhaps I over-shared especially on the stuff about Oprah, Dr Phil, etc...

Couldn't contain the zeal...
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:02 AM
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
1,195 posts, read 2,327,671 times
Reputation: 1851
Talking Update...

... still working on & developing our bond. We're two very different people but as I truly believe in life, in general... we are more alike than we are different. We must simply decide to accentuate the things we do share. Right now that is our desire to be in one another's lives & to grow our love & THAT'S FANTASTIC!

As I had mentioned, because of my finding Billy, I am now in contact with my brother Terry as well. We're slowly working at finding our place in one another's lives as well.

I am choosing to keep my heart, mind, & spirit open to whatever may unfold - naturally. I am grateful for what IS & what IS is simply good enough.

Thank you for all the encouragement & support everyone - if you leave comments privately I'd love for you to include your screen name so I can find you! lol

the thinky think.r
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:08 AM
Location: WA
1,286 posts, read 686,422 times
Reputation: 515
That's great! Congrats.
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