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I would believe that he has a lot to "wrap his brain around" and that, perhaps, has a family to explain to. With that being said...isn't this your opportunity to create a relationship with him? Don't play. You have been granted something I can only wish for.
The best of luck to you, I sincerely wish you well.
yellabone, he is the one who is losing out. some people of that generation have some pretty good hang ups, again he is the one missing out on you and your family. hugs again to you
Sorry about the response you got, he doesn't exactly sound like a prize. Your son is right about you having gone this long without him, sounds like you have plenty of people in your family that love and care about you and that is what really matters at the end of the day.
Some people just do not want to be found. It's not you, it's them.
I knew a guy who was just scared of any financial possibility - years later, he left a situation where they might be a child and years later did the same thing. He just was the type to run from any kind of responsibility. Again, it will be his loss.
I was so sorry to read of your rejection and had had really high hopes for a good outcome.
If it was a casual encounter of one night only and he never came back around then I can see where he might not remember your mother (no offense to her). It happens. He may also have discussed this with a wife or family members and just decided that too much time had passed to invest in a relationship now. Having said that, it doesnt make his decision right but, it is what it is.
What about the envelope for DNA, just to confirm you ideas ? Though it sounds like he was very careful to not leave you anything to use against him. (Bad boy) Obviously, he doesn't want to pursue the relationship. If you are pretty sure, then as someone suggested, pursue the genealogical aspect of it. You might be surprised what you find and the contacts you would meet. But, I wouldn't try and force him to acknowledge me.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you have a solid family for compensation.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. Indeed , it does seem that this person is trying to rid himself of you. Possibly because he beleives you are just contacting him because you want money. He probably knew from the start who your mother was and wanted to glimpse into your life a little without accepting the truth. When he got the stuff you sent, he knew that he wasn't going to respond to you positively. I say, just forget about him. He doesn't seem like a very compassionate person.
Sometimes there are rocks that are better left unturned. Your mother was both your mom and dad, this individual doesn't sound like a nice person and be thankful that he wasn't in your life while you were growing up, as he would have probably screwed it up.
Having gone thru this with an ex bf who didn't want to step up to the plate and be a father, sometimes you have to realize what you are looking for isn't there. What you were looking for in a father you will never have & acceptance is sometimes the hardest route to take but the way out of how you feel.
It isn't a rejection of you, as another poster said, it is a rejection of responsibility.
Better off to leave this one alone and work on accepting how your life was w/o a dad. focus on the people who really love and care for you instead of hoping to find that in a dry well.
Wow! I am blown away....
You know what, Yellabone? You don't need him since it seems that you have a beautiful and supportive family. But really what you DON'T need, is to know him. Put it behind you and move on.
It's obvious it's him, not only by your "stats", but because of the extra care he took at being so impersonal.
We are not on this earth to judge anyone, but quite honestly I say "to hell with that."
What he is is a selfish, self-centered person whom you should never have the displeasure of meeting.
I will post my recent "uncovering"...tell me what you think.
Izzy
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His loss
Indeed , it does seem that this person is trying to rid himself of you. Possibly because he beleives you are just contacting him because you want money. He probably knew from the start who your mother was and wanted to glimpse into your life a little without accepting the truth. When he got the stuff you sent, he knew that he wasn't going to respond to you positively. I say, just forget about him. He doesn't seem like a very compassionate person.
