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I've never been married, much less divorced, and have only a cursory knowledge of divorce math. I've had an on-off FWB relationship with a former coworker. I may not have all the details straight, but hang with me here.
Background: They're in their 30s. Twins in elementary school. They moved states two years ago. She liked the new location and he didn't. He moved back to where they were originally from. The divorce is being processed in the former state. She cheated on him. I'm not sure who filed for the divorce. I think it was her.
She makes around $90k from her day job and has a small, internet-based business on the side. She telecommutes with an NYC based firm. If she were to lose this job (she was fired from her two previous jobs), there is no way she can make this in her local market. He makes around $50k. From what I could keep straight from what she told me, it sounds like they're in debt to the tune of about $140k-$150k together. Here's how it seems to break down.
1) $70k in student loan debt for someone. She went to a cheap public school and graduated years ago. I'm guessing it's hers, but I can't imagine how she managed to run that up. She says her parents and grandparents are both millionaires and will pay this off once the divorce is finalized.
2) About $55k in credit card debt. I guess this just piled up over the years. They didn't seem to have an extravagant lifestyle and both areas are fairly low cost. Who knows.
3) $10k-$20k of medical debt.
4) They have an older Altima and a newer Santa Fe. Both cars are paid off.
Here's what I don't understand.
1) She says he will owe her $37k over five years for "equitable debt payment." He barely earns half of what she does. She said about 65% of the debt was "hers." This makes no sense at all given their income and that she supposedly ran it up.
2) She hasn't asked for child support or alimony. I'm guessing the "debt payment" thing could be in lieu of that?
The manual on divorce math was written by Lewis Carroll while he was feeling particularly pissy about Alice rejecting his advances. It is a cruel, heartless system, even when it's just about money.
Short form: unless you have access to all the financial records and court filings, you will never make it make sense. And even then, you'd only make it make sense according to law and the judge's interpretations.
Sounds like something akin to an "equity swap" which I have personal experience with. When I filed for divorce and my kids were little, I didn't want to have to move them out of their house - I just wanted my ex husband out of the house. So I proposed an equity swap, since we had a big chunk of equity in the house. Basically he didn't have to pay child support for a few years until what he WOULD have paid totaled his half of the equity.
This made it very easy on him to go back to school and get a master's degree, because basically he didn't have to pay child support. It made it harder on me because I wasn't receiving child support payments and had four school age kids. But at least we didn't have to move and give him half the equity in the house.
So maybe they just divvied up the debt they both owed. It doesn't really matter what he makes - if he owes the money, he owes the money. Why should she be stuck with his debts? Clearly they both ran up the debt, and the fact that she knows she owes 65 percent of it tells me that they've already figured out who owes what and worked out the payments and who is going to pay them.
What I don't understand is why or how she's not going to get child support. I could be wrong, but I thought that was mandatory in all states.
Doesn't sound like you're getting the full picture of all the financial details and to be honest, it doesn't sound like she owes you specifics at this stage in your relationship.
I've never been married, much less divorced, and have only a cursory knowledge of divorce math. I've had an on-off FWB relationship with a former coworker. I may not have all the details straight, but hang with me here.
Background: They're in their 30s. Twins in elementary school. They moved states two years ago. She liked the new location and he didn't. He moved back to where they were originally from. The divorce is being processed in the former state. She cheated on him. I'm not sure who filed for the divorce. I think it was her.
The he should file a divorce for cause, instead of no-fault divorce.
Sounds like something akin to an "equity swap" which I have personal experience with. When I filed for divorce and my kids were little, I didn't want to have to move them out of their house - I just wanted my ex husband out of the house. So I proposed an equity swap, since we had a big chunk of equity in the house. Basically he didn't have to pay child support for a few years until what he WOULD have paid totaled his half of the equity.
This made it very easy on him to go back to school and get a master's degree, because basically he didn't have to pay child support. It made it harder on me because I wasn't receiving child support payments and had four school age kids. But at least we didn't have to move and give him half the equity in the house.
So maybe they just divvied up the debt they both owed. It doesn't really matter what he makes - if he owes the money, he owes the money. Why should she be stuck with his debts? Clearly they both ran up the debt, and the fact that she knows she owes 65 percent of it tells me that they've already figured out who owes what and worked out the payments and who is going to pay them.
What I don't understand is why or how she's not going to get child support. I could be wrong, but I thought that was mandatory in all states.
Doesn't sound like you're getting the full picture of all the financial details and to be honest, it doesn't sound like she owes you specifics at this stage in your relationship.
I have no idea who ran what up. With that said, he seems to have much less of an ability to pay. The way I understood it when she told me about the child support, it sounds like she doesn't want it.
Once the grandparents pay off the student loans, they're both stuck with roughly $40k. She can barely make it on $90k in a reasonably low COL area. He's going to be in debt for the foreseeable future.
Short form: unless you have access to all the financial records and court filings, you will never make it make sense.
As I said. If your intent here is to discuss the range of possibilities left by the huge area of unknowns, have at it. If you're looking for some kind of absolute or considered legal opinion... I wouldn't hold your breath. These things turn on long chains of specific assessments and narrow judgment.
02-25-2018, 06:36 PM
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n/a posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quietude
As I said. If your intent here is to discuss the range of possibilities left by the huge area of unknowns, have at it. If you're looking for some kind of absolute or considered legal opinion... I wouldn't hold your breath. These things turn on long chains of specific assessments and narrow judgment.
And who's willing to give what just to make the madness end.
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