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I've just left a comment on this thread saying that talking about the money is a taboo because we were educated in this way. And the idea to create this thread almost immediately arose in my mind.
I have a little son and the question about how to correctly educate your child about the money is of great interest to me. I'm subscribed to different financial blogs and try to heed the experts' advice in this regard, but I'm just curious to hear the stories/opinions from the parents especially those whose children have already grown.
Let your kids know how you save and manage your money and they will have a foundation to build on. But, if for example, you turn over to them their college trust accounts which by law you must when they are 18, forget about speaking to them about THEIR finances. Not going to happen.
Sooner the better. Unless they are gifted athletically or by academics. Wife and I preached how important grades were at a very early age. 2nd, 3rd or 4th grade. Somewhere around there. When my girls were born, every cent they received as gifts was deposited. And we started saving from day 1. Fast forward. We were very lucky. My oldest received a very generous offer and received scholarships for athletics and academics. She will finish college debt free and a nice chunk of change that we saved for her but didn't have to use. Our youngest received a very nice academic scholarship and she as well will finish college debt free.
We didn't know what the future held, but we were prepared for the expense of college.
Whether or not either received any nice offers, both my girls would have gone anyway.
We consider ourselves very lucky and Blessed.
Not a brag post. Just stating that grades play a much bigger role than saving up to further our children's education. This generation needs college or a trade. If we had sons, I'd be pushing trade school over college. But we don't.
Different views can mislead your kid. I'd suggest you to first have a discussion with your wife and agree on a single model of educating healthy money habits in your daughter.
unfortunately, its not really that cut and dry. its not really that my wife "teaches" finances differently; its that she has her own perception based on her life that cant just be eliminated. while i always lived like this, my wife grew up in puerto rico with a much different upbringing than me. she is in a different world compared to where she was and where she would likely be without me. how i am, is a result of my upbringing which she didnt have. i will win the battle when it comes to my children (im not really fighting against anyone) but i just find my wife's situation to be an interesting issue to contend with.
Last edited by CaptainNJ; 06-28-2019 at 08:45 AM..
This generation needs college or a trade. If we had sons, I'd be pushing trade school over college. But we don't.
Not a dig at you, as your daughters have solid education plans (that if you had sons they could also have) but I am a female tradesperson. Im a sheet metal worker in NYC and make good money, much better than some college educated women.
unfortunately, its not really that cut and dry. its not really that my wife "teaches" finances differently; its that she has her own perception based on her left that cant just be eliminated. while i always lived like this, my wife grew up in puerto rico with a much different upbringing than me. she is in a different world compared to where she was and where she would likely be without me. how i am, is a result of my upbringing which she didnt have. i will win the battle when it comes to my children (im not really fighting against anyone) but i just find my wife's situation to be an interesting issue to contend with.
I can relate to your situation as have a similar background to your wife. I'm an immigrant from a poorer country that moved to the states. I've also learned to handle money efficiently though, probably better than my wife. I married an American woman and we definitely see/handle things differently, but we also compromised a lot. Even though I grew up poor, and have learned to be frugal, I've learned that sometimes it is better to pay more for the better quality.
Sometimes doing things one way is better than another way, sometimes it doesn't make a difference and you do it just to keep the peace haha.
We're hoping to teach our kids a mix of it, definitely leaning on the frugality side of things.
I can relate to your situation as have a similar background to your wife. I'm an immigrant from a poorer country that moved to the states. I've also learned to handle money efficiently though, probably better than my wife. I married an American woman and we definitely see/handle things differently, but we also compromised a lot. Even though I grew up poor, and have learned to be frugal, I've learned that sometimes it is better to pay more for the better quality.
Sometimes doing things one way is better than another way, sometimes it doesn't make a difference and you do it just to keep the peace haha.
We're hoping to teach our kids a mix of it, definitely leaning on the frugality side of things.
i sometimes bring up the chris rock routine when he discusses marriage and two people getting together to share each others lives. but that isnt what really happens (he says). what they do is get together and choose which one has the better life and that is the life that they live. in my case, its my life.
the way i see it, my daughters would never choose to live like my wife did. they are going to want to maintain their current lifestyles and the best way to do that is to listen to me. im sure my wife would agree with that. but my wife is actually more handy than i am when it comes to fixing things around the house. that is something that i think she would like to pass on the the kids and i think that would be great.
Frame decisions for obtaining things around cost (of course in simplistic ways). How many days it takes to work for something. When they want something, we usually ask that they pay a % of the cost with their own money earned through chores.
i sometimes bring up the chris rock routine when he discusses marriage and two people getting together to share each others lives. but that isnt what really happens (he says). what they do is get together and choose which one has the better life and that is the life that they live. in my case, its my life.
the way i see it, my daughters would never choose to live like my wife did. they are going to want to maintain their current lifestyles and the best way to do that is to listen to me. im sure my wife would agree with that. but my wife is actually more handy than i am when it comes to fixing things around the house. that is something that i think she would like to pass on the the kids and i think that would be great.
Oh I totally understand! I would not want my girls to live the life I had, but there were lessons I learned living that life, that are good to pass onto them. Maybe it won't translate over as well if I just explain it, versus actually experiencing it but we'll see.
Like your wife, I am pretty handy and tend to fix things to keep things operating. This has saved me a lot of money over my lifetime as well as giving me confidence in doing repairs. BUT, I've also learned that sometimes it's just better to pay someone to do it, or toss the item as it's not worth fixing.
My kids starting learning about different coins when they were 3.
I will start teaching them how to invest in the stock market when they are 10.
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