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know one knows anyone else’s finances but we all have a general idea how each is doing overall
"General ideas" or "ballpark estimates" don't cut it.
Actual copies of paystubs, income tax statements, balances from bank accounts, CDs, brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, IRAs, mortgage statements, car loans, student loans, credit cards, etc.
Also, any significant physical assets like gold or other jewelry.
You have to give me the works, man. Otherwise, the information is useless.
"General ideas" or "ballpark estimates" don't cut it.
Actual copies of paystubs, income tax statements, balances from bank accounts, CDs, brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, IRAs, mortgage statements, student loans, credit cards, etc.
Also, any significant physical assets like gold or other jewelry.
You have to give me the works, man. Otherwise, the information is useless.
Are you open with your extended family about how much you make and your net worth? Anyone from parents, siblings, nieces nephews, etc. Heck even close friends.
Salary of $40,000 or $400,000. Or net worth of $10,000 or 10 million. My siblings know we can retire, but that's it. I know some people who are open and some that aren't.
Only my wife and I, along with our financial advisor and estate planing attorney know our net worth. Our children don't
Our kids are co-executors of our estate and each has copies of will and trust. They will divide everything equally unless they tell us now what they want. (Like my ring that my daughter has wanted since she was a small child). But there is no mention of dollars, or value other than a few specific gifts
They both know that we will spend what we have as long as we can and if there is anything left, they will split it. They both also know that if we outlive our money, we gave them a great education
Very private. There's no reason for me to share details about my net worth with "extended" family or anyone else. My salary was somewhat different because I worked in the public sector. If you knew a person's job title, it wasn't difficult to find out what ballpark their salary was in because those positions were standardized. Vacancy announcements for the same position across the US publish the salaries right from the start. When I grew up it was considered bad manners to discuss the details of one's finances. If you insisted, you were either attempting to brag or whinge. Either one of those are bad manners in their own right, regardless what the topic is.
growing up we were raised it is rude to ask people what they make (income). And it is rude to ask people what they paid for something. i agree with this.
I sometimes wish I could talk to a friend or family member about financial matters.
However, I experienced a lot of ego and jealousy from others when I attempted to do that in the past. People are very sensitive about money matters and status, at least in my social circles. It’s a taboo thing and like walking into a minefield.
So, I learned to keep my mouth shut. LOL
It's really been helpful for both my friend and I to bounce ideas off each other. Tell me if this sounds completely insane kind of discussions. We've known each other long enough that we don't pull punches and tell it like it is. My wife and I need to get a trust going for our young kids, and I'm thinking of asking him to be the executor as I don't really have anyone in my immediate family who I would trust to make the tough decisions in my absence.
It's too bad money discussions are so taboo. Maybe people would make better financial decisions if finances were talked about more. My wife for example has said finances were never a discussion and she never learned good money habits. She was in credit card debt and didn't have any retirement accounts other than eligible on a small teacher pension when I met her. Her siblings are pretty much in the same situation today. While we were dating I showed her how she could pay off that debt in a short amount of time. She cut out all kinds of spending and was debt free in less than a year. With the extra income she was able to start a Roth IRA. The debt discussion came about when things became serious and we talked finances. She was surprised how much behind she was compared to me when she was a college grad and I wasn't.
She's now a SAHM and trades her 6 figure brokerage account along with a traditional and Roth IRA. Even though it's been more than 7 years since she's worked, I'd wager she has more saved for retirement than her siblings. I think a larger part of that is the financial decisions we've had and her willingness to learn more.
I've spoken to coworkers about our retirement options. I've helped 2 who had been at the job for years and never did anything to their accounts. After helping them set up allocations, they later remarked how quickly they hit 6 figures. The default allocation was a bond fund so I'm not surprised the performance lagged for them over the years.
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