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Why, but WHY, does this - or something like this - have to happen every single flippin time?
jbm - did the OP ask about this? No, the OP started a very useful thread on which people can share their experiences and their thoughts about the concept of hospice care for animals. Now I've read and re-read the post just to make sure my reading comprehension skills weren't lacking. They are not. At no point in time has the OP solicited anyone's opinion as to whether or not now is the time for her animals. What on earth gives you the right to make this call for the OP? Know the animals well, do you? Know the ins and outs of the situation? You know that the animals have given up and don't wish to carry on? Oh good. I'm delighted to hear it's not just someone running off with an opinion that not only is undoubtedly not welcome, but quite frankly, it's well out of line.
OP - I apologise, but this winds me up something chronic. And now back to our regularly scheduled program......
First of all, don't take just a section of my post as that one line changes it. What I said was
Quote:
I can understand the desire to care for your elderly and or ill friend, but in all honesty...I just could not allow my friend to endure an existence like that. As someone stated earlier, we as their caregivers can give them a more humane and peaceful way to leave this life and move onto the next. I can also appreciate how difficult it is to face not only the truth that their lives are nearing a close, but one most really step back from making it about the human aspect, and what's really in their best interest.
My heart goes out to you, but please, give them the most selfless act of love...and help them move on. My prayers are with you, for it's clear that you love them.
Which clearly states that I understood the desire to care for an elderly and ill friend...and how I understood how difficult it is for us, their care givers to know when it's time to let them go. Sure, I could've allowed both of my friends to continue suffering and let them die when "they" were ready, but loving them, I simply could not allow them to suffer, not when there's a humane means of easing their suffering and allowing them rest. That's my point, and even though the op didn't ask about when they would know when it's time for their friend to die, but clearly their friends are in bad shape and when one uses the word hospice, that in of itself is intended for end of life.
You can blast me all you wish, but I stand by what I said. As difficult as it is and I've had the heart-wrenching first hand knowledge...where my at different times, both of my long time best friends were nearing the end, and I simply loved them enough to not allow their suffering to continue. One was 18 and no longer had bladder control, she could barely walk and was in pain. The other was 15-16, stopped eating, had difficulties with her bladder, could hardly walk or climb stairs so I carried her...and began to wander in discomfort throughout the day and night. Could I have allowed them to continue until they died, sure, but I didn't, and I held them while they drifted into a deep sleep from which they did not wake. Did it break my heart, hell yes...is my life not the same...no it's not. But I am at peace with my choice to help them, for my faith in God has helped me to know that they are now okay, that they understood what I did for them and the last words they heard was my telling them that I love them....until they drifted into the Lords arms.
So go ahead and blast me for being someone that loves my friends enough to help them cross over. If only humans were as loving.
jbm - did the OP ask about this? No, the OP started a very useful thread on which people can share their experiences and their thoughts about the concept of hospice care for animals.
Thank-you for posting this. There are many euthansia threads. If people would like to discuss that topic, I suggest they use the search function. For the purpose of this thread I would like to ask that we respectfully stay on-topic.
I really wanted to start a thread where people could share their knowledge and their experiences, their heartaches and their joys, when caring for their animal companions at the end of life.
For many, that journey will still end with planned euthanasia, and I respect that. Some people and pets may need three extra days together, and some may need three months.
It appears that many people are providing some sort of "hospice" or palliative care to their aging or terminal pets without necessarily labeling it as such. jbm mentions that he carried his beloved dog up and down stairs before making his heartbreaking decision.
I believe that each case must be handled on it's own merit. As I mentioned, I started this thread because I have not one, but two animals at the end of life.
My Thyla is essentially dying of old age. The body winding down. I have been doing my research and ~think~ I know what to expect at the end of life. I believe that she and I are strong enough to handle this. I am lucky enough that my lifestyle allows me to be with her and monitor her nearly 24/7. It's not as if she is left alone to suffer. Often the cats and I fall asleep with her, curled up in a big bed made of comfortors and pillows.
Cobalt, the big grey kitty, is not so lucky. We do realize that with his disease will, most likely, come pain. I have a check-list of symptoms from the vet and we will discuss our options for pain-management vs. euthanasia at that time.
I'm terribly sorry if I offended you or anyone else......especially FiveHorses because I respect and value his opinions very much. He has been a great source of information,advice and encouragement and I would never purposely be offensive to him or you. You ask if we had participated in hospice care and what our experience was and for advice. That's all I was responding to. This is a VERY emotional and sensitive topic especially since I just went through it last month and it's very hard to know the exact,perfect thing to say. Again,I apologize and please forgive me.
I'm terribly sorry if I offended you or anyone else......especially FiveHorses because I respect and value his opinions very much. He has been a great source of information,advice and encouragement and I would never purposely be offensive to him or you. You ask if we had participated in hospice care and what our experience was and for advice. That's all I was responding to. This is a VERY emotional and sensitive topic especially since I just went through it last month and it's very hard to know the exact,perfect thing to say. Again,I apologize and please forgive me.
Actually I found your responses to be very thoughtful and helpful.
I know that this is an emotional and rough time for all involved. Your input is valued. It sounds like our kitty may receive the same care as yours in the end.
If it is not too painful to answer:
Did you pick a special place in your home for the euthanasia procedure? Were there any special requirements?
And did you have a pre-plan for cremation or burial?
We are blessed in that a friend who has his own personal "space" in the country has offered us plots for our animals.
Actually I found your responses to be very thoughtful and helpful.
I know that this is an emotional and rough time for all involved. Your input is valued. It sounds like our kitty may receive the same care as yours in the end.
If it is not too painful to answer:
Did you pick a special place in your home for the euthanasia procedure? Were there any special requirements?
And did you have a pre-plan for cremation or burial?
We are blessed in that a friend who has his own personal "space" in the country has offered us plots for our animals.
Someone who had been through this before us advised not to do it in a room where we stay a lot,so we did it in the room we spend the least amount of time....one of our guest bedrooms. Our baby's favorite room was the screenroom,but it's also my favorite and where I spend a lot of time,so I just couldn't do it there. No,there were no special requirements. The vet and his wife work as a team and come whenever you need them. They were here within thirty minutes of us calling them. They were VERY compassionate and you could tell they weren't here just for the money,but really genuinely cared. They took her to be cremated and the person who did the cremation brought her back. They did a great job with a nice paw print,certificate and hair clipping. They also sent a sympathy card later with her paw print on it. Everything went as well as it could under the circumstances. This was the first time of ever having to have one put to sleep and cremated. We learned our lesson the last time though because we had to leave our other baby's grave when we moved here. This way if we ever move again,she will be right with us. I know that may sound silly because it's just a grave and they're with us in our heart,but we really felt bad having to leave his grave behind.
Location: Big Island- Hawaii, AK, WA where the whales are!
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My blue Healer was beat up from horses,bulls but made it 9 years past when I thought I would loose her. During the last couple of years I thought many times "when is the time?" but her will to keep going kept both of us going. The last year I had to clean her up when she would go to the bathroom without knowing it. She had no depth percerption so I had to make sure I was there when she went down the stairs. Give her a push when going up the stairs. She ended up having conginital heart failure for at least 4 years.
I took her to the beach the last time and had to carry her due to not being able to walk on short trail to the beach for more than a little ways. I will never forget though when we sat in the sand the sun was on her face she just looked up and was smiling in the warmth. She was so happy to be on the beach. She was with me for more than a year after this.
You said you didn't want to go into the end but your last questions sounds like you would like some ideas. Sorry if this doesn't help. Finally a friend told me for a couple of months I wasn't being fair to her. I was so torn between her will to live and quaility of life. Finally I knew one day this is too much for her. She was staying just for me. She could barely walk, would looked confused at times, couldn't hold her bladder at all. So after 2 months going over the dilema of what was right, I loaded her in the truck her favorite place to be. Took her to a horse vet friend so she wouldn't go into a vet. And he let her go in the truck so no stress outside by his barn. The vet assured me that I was making the right decision as his healer that he still has on his license was in same condition when he had to make the decision. She is buried next to my other 16yr old lab at a friends place buried in her favorite blanket. I had to make sure for both of us when the time was right though not anyone elses opinion. I still believe she is with me.
Sorry for your saddness and difficult situation. Good thoughts and energy to all of you.
I was so torn between her will to live and quaility of life.
I think this is a valid point and perhaps a central one to the concept of hospice care in general - to respect the will to live but also respect the right to die. It sounds easier than it is.
We had a dog.... long story but effectively, at the age of about 3 we were presented with two options: medicate, curtail normal dog activities, and prolong, or don't and just use pain management but the end would be sooner, maybe by a lot, maybe not - no one could say. We opted for the latter.
Central in our minds was the concept that the dog had to live his life as a dog and not as some sort of walking medicine chest. You can't rationalise to a dog that by doing x, y, and z you're prolonging his/her life when x, y, and z would do nothing but cause the dog confusion (i.e. why can all the others do that, but I can't?). In many ways hospice care for animals is that much more difficult because it's all one sided.
The paradox was that allowing the dog to live as a dog and do doggie things, we were allowing him to kill himself slowly. But I, for one, have never taken the "at all costs" approach (and no, that's a figurative term - real cost never entered into it for us) - but that's just the way my brain works. At the end of the day, it's a highly personal decision.
I recently had occasion to discuss this issue with veterinary professionals. Years ago, hospice care really was all there was. Veterinary medicine didn't allow for the "unnatural" prolonging of life the way it does now. But by the same token, pain management wasn't as advanced as it is now either. Today we have more choices and, perversely in a way, it leads to harder decisions.
To take this discussion to a different level, I love my dogs and cats and want to treat them as I would want to be treated. We all get a warm home in the winter, food and water, a soft bed, play and exercise. When ill or injured, we go to the doctor and sometimes the hospital for treatment.
I recently lost a cat w/CRF. She had been on sub-Q fluids the last 15 months or so, at home. The actual giving of the fluids didn't seem to bother her but she would vomit each and every time afterwards - from stress or pressure on her tummy, I never knew which. That seemed to me to be a reasonable compromise to keep her alive.
When it comes time to die, I believe we should die in God's time, not Man's time. So, I would hope my family honors my wish for me when further treatment only gives me another week or month or whatever, at great cost (and not just financial as FiveHorses said). So I do the same for my dogs and cats. When their quality of life is greatly diminished, I sadly say goodbye. When my CRF cat began spending the day in the closet and not eating much, she went to the vet for IV fluids, to see if they could flush out her kidney. After 3 days of IV fluids, I said goodbye as she had not improved.
You said you didn't want to go into the end but your last questions sounds like you would like some ideas.
I understand that this topic will bring up "the end". I just didn't want it to become some sort of debate about euthanasia (we have enough of those threads on this forum).
Personal stories about what you did with and for your animal at the end of his/her life are welcome and very comforting. Thank you to everyone who has shared.
Thyla (my cattle dog) died on Tuesday morning. I was with her, as was her cat. We we all snuggled up in the TV room. She had a very restless night the night before. I won't lie, it was rough on all of us. It reminded me of the Emily Dickinson poem:
Death is a dialogue between
The spirit and the dust
"Dissolve," says Death. The Spirit, "Sir,
I have another trust."
Death doubts it, surges from the ground.
The Spirit turns away.
Just laying off, for evidence,
An overcoat of clay.
Her actual death was very peaceful. Just a gradual slowing of the breath. I cleaned her body and wrapped her in a clean white sheet as planned. We burried her that afternoon in a friend's private pet cemetery.
I still keep coming in the house, expecting to see her. To hear the click of her nails on the floor. It is very very quiet in the house without a dog.
Cobalt the cat is still hanging in there. His appetite is good. I made a promise to him that we would not bury him without his belly-fur (shaved for ultrasound and other procedures).
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like... on Flickr - Photo Sharing! (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pedalfaster/319620920/ - broken link)
Thyla in the Sun on Flickr - Photo Sharing! (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pedalfaster/380826227/ - broken link)
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I made a promise to him that we would not bury him without his belly-fur (shaved for ultrasound and other procedures).
