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Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,688,469 times
Reputation: 10256
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevie6976
Yes...I think many in the south don't realize the northeast is liberal in politics NOT personal behavior, as a generalization only. For example, I met probably just over 2 dozen women the last 3 years or so on eharmony in Texas. Had a relationship with all but 3 as I remember. I did reactivate my account in April and met a woman for dinner up here. She was put off by the fact I'd inherited majority ownership of an office building here rather than buying it on my own and other comments she made along that line. I thought having free time, making my own schedule for the most part was a positive but nope. Her logic was I needed to be on the move, slaying the dragon, chasing the almighty dollar, even if I already have enough to last my lifetime. Yes, it was a mistake to assume most women up here are all like that but I closed my membership anyway.
I am surprised by how on the go people are up here. Texans really do consider their home as their castle and love spending weekends there. Up here and based on Friday afternoons on 95 not so up here. I did figure out that weather is a factor and this time of year people have to make the most of warm weather.
Philadelphia is MidAtlantic. That means it's not North, it's not South, it's both. The MidAtlantic is the transition zone. Philadelphia has more natives than not. It may take time to become friends, but they are your friends, not some variation of acquaintances.
No matter what you think, you need friends, then worry about the rest. Your friends will tell you if your fly is open or a booger is hanging out of your nose. You didn't cite interests other than sex, so check library websites for activities/events. Something should catch your eye. Go. Talk to men &/or women, but don't hit on the women. You're looking for friends. The rest will come in good time.
Don't blab that you have money right off the bat. You don't know if you're dealing with a gold-digger or a woman who thinks that you're going to lord the money over her. In other words, if you are asked what you do, just say I manage a building, if that's what you do. If you've been blabbing about your finances in Texas, it's no wonder you've had a trail of women, kissing your butt. Since your mother can't say it, I'll say it. Your finances are your personal, private business until you know someone well.
I live in Center City and am in my late30s so bear that in mind. My wife and the circle of female friends we have in our orbit - married or otherwise - all have these following characteristics: highly educated, often high-earning (some stay at home w/ kids, but that's a financial choice often due to wealth), sophisticated, confident, cosmopolitan, and street smart. Kind of the opposite of the women you'd find in more rural locations and the lack-of-self-confidence-Girls-gone-wild-type you seem to dig...
Frankly, if you want women that you described in your OP - I'd go the opposite route - away from Center CIty - and out toward some place like the Trappe Tavern in the more rural exurbs. Center City doesn't sound like your speed at all.
Thanks for the insight, Londoner. I'm not about the "girls gone wild" type, just sweet, nice, fun, laid back, almost always in a good mood, not demanding or thinking they're "special". From your perspective, that may infer a lack of self confidence so I understand that characterization.
southbound I have never blabbed about my finances to anyone. Only the financial advisors know what I have. However, you make a good point that even saying things like, I'm sick of the rain, miss playing golf so I'm going to my place in Florida for a couple weeks doesn't sound good to certain people...which is the case right now. On my way to the airport now...yipee! I am able to basically live like a college kid on summer break and just want to enjoy the day for whatever it brings. No kids, no family so why not? I guess even saying those things to people who still get up and work at a job all day, house work, yard work...never ending productive things need to be done wouldn't go over well.
As an example of the differences in here and Florida, I sent a text to one of my neighbors that I'll be down mid-afternoon and they invited me over for BBQ this evening. Here? I know virtually nothing about my 2 neighbors other than their name and hearing them screaming at each other on a few occasions...frightening.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,688,469 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevie6976
southbound I have never blabbed about my finances to anyone. Only the financial advisors know what I have. However, you make a good point that even saying things like, I'm sick of the rain, miss playing golf so I'm going to my place in Florida for a couple weeks doesn't sound good to certain people...which is the case right now. On my way to the airport now...yipee! I am able to basically live like a college kid on summer break and just want to enjoy the day for whatever it brings. No kids, no family so why not? I guess even saying those things to people who still get up and work at a job all day, house work, yard work...never ending productive things need to be done wouldn't go over well.
As an example of the differences in here and Florida, I sent a text to one of my neighbors that I'll be down mid-afternoon and they invited me over for BBQ this evening. Here? I know virtually nothing about my 2 neighbors other than their name and hearing them screaming at each other on a few occasions...frightening.
You admitted blabbing your finances to the woman who you took out to dinner in Philadelphia. You don't have to lay out your finances with a ledger. You told her enough that she didn't take it well. People don't take well to bragging.
southbound I have never blabbed about my finances to anyone. Only the financial advisors know what I have. However, you make a good point that even saying things like, I'm sick of the rain, miss playing golf so I'm going to my place in Florida for a couple weeks doesn't sound good to certain people...which is the case right now. On my way to the airport now...yipee! I am able to basically live like a college kid on summer break and just want to enjoy the day for whatever it brings. No kids, no family so why not? I guess even saying those things to people who still get up and work at a job all day, house work, yard work...never ending productive things need to be done wouldn't go over well.
As an example of the differences in here and Florida, I sent a text to one of my neighbors that I'll be down mid-afternoon and they invited me over for BBQ this evening. Here? I know virtually nothing about my 2 neighbors other than their name and hearing them screaming at each other on a few occasions...frightening.
Golf! At least you have a desire to do something other than get laid. I often think that that should be layed. My problem.
You admitted blabbing your finances to the woman who you took out to dinner in Philadelphia. You don't have to lay out your finances with a ledger. You told her enough that she didn't take it well. People don't take well to bragging.
Wow...I had no idea that's what you meant by "bragging". Interestingly enough, on the flight to Florida I sat next to a woman from Florida who asked what I did. Taking advice here, told her I manage an office building in Philly. She says oh...you can take off a couple weeks and come down here to your place, just to hang out and play golf? I realized that sounded stupid, so I told her well yes, I'm majority owner of the building so... Wasn't but a minute later she invited me to join her and friends to hear some music Wednesday night. Go figure. Much more like the reaction I'd get in Texas from a woman. Virtually a 180 degree difference in the way things go in Philly.
Most of the comments here has made the decision to pull the ripcord and sell my interest in the building and move down here permanently. So I guess a thank you for your help is in order. Sadly, many of you no doubt thank me for leaving.
Wow...I had no idea that's what you meant by "bragging". Interestingly enough, on the flight to Florida I sat next to a woman from Florida who asked what I did. Taking advice here, told her I manage an office building in Philly. She says oh...you can take off a couple weeks and come down here to your place, just to hang out and play golf? I realized that sounded stupid, so I told her well yes, I'm majority owner of the building so... Wasn't but a minute later she invited me to join her and friends to hear some music Wednesday night. Go figure. Much more like the reaction I'd get in Texas from a woman. Virtually a 180 degree difference in the way things go in Philly.
Most of the comments here has made the decision to pull the ripcord and sell my interest in the building and move down here permanently. So I guess a thank you for your help is in order. Sadly, many of you no doubt thank me for leaving.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,688,469 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevie6976
Wow...I had no idea that's what you meant by "bragging". Interestingly enough, on the flight to Florida I sat next to a woman from Florida who asked what I did. Taking advice here, told her I manage an office building in Philly. She says oh...you can take off a couple weeks and come down here to your place, just to hang out and play golf? I realized that sounded stupid, so I told her well yes, I'm majority owner of the building so... Wasn't but a minute later she invited me to join her and friends to hear some music Wednesday night. Go figure. Much more like the reaction I'd get in Texas from a woman. Virtually a 180 degree difference in the way things go in Philly.
Most of the comments here has made the decision to pull the ripcord and sell my interest in the building and move down here permanently. So I guess a thank you for your help is in order. Sadly, many of you no doubt thank me for leaving.
After she found out that you have money you got an invitation, yet it didn't insult you. Go figure. You could have been taking vacation time, you know.
I will readily admit that Philly is not known for people being overly friendly towards strangers - I definitely saw a difference when I moved to Colorado. People here are generally just so much nicer and friendlier than in the Philly area.
But why pick on the women? Is it really only the women you see a difference in? If so, maybe women in Philly just have more self respect than to fawn all over a guy just because he's a guy. Or maybe you think it's okay for men to not be friendly when women should be? And maybe it's exactly that kind of double standard that puts women off.
I am not buying this idea that as a blonde, blue eyed white guy you don't fit in with "ethnic" Philly - I didn't read the whole topic so maybe someone else already pointed this out but didn't you mention you were from San Antonio? Apparently, Hispanics make up 64% of the population of San Antonio, whereas in Philly only 14.4%. Philly has a higher population of African Americans (41%), true - but it's still less than the Hispanic population in San Antonio by far and the "white alone" population is lower in San Antonio (25%) than Philly (35%) too, so I think your perception of things might be a little skewed regarding this.
If you feel like you don't fit in, it probably has more to do with your accent and perhaps other things that may mark you as stereotypically "southern", nothing to do with your hair, eye, or skin color. Not that there's anything wrong with being southern, but it does make you different and there's a lot of northern women who just aren't really into the whole southern culture (the accent, the music, the clothing, etc) when it comes to dating.
Also, on the issue of Philly people being brutally honest sometimes and you seemingly not taking that very well - the flip side to that is many northerners find southerners to be passive aggressive. So again, this may be a perception thing - you may perceive it as rude and mean but to northerners, your ways may come across as dishonest and passive aggressive. Maybe there is some truth to both perspectives, but you're never to fit in if you're completely unable to see their perspective too.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,688,469 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK
I will readily admit that Philly is not known for people being overly friendly towards strangers - I definitely saw a difference when I moved to Colorado. People here are generally just so much nicer and friendlier than in the Philly area.
But why pick on the women? Is it really only the women you see a difference in? If so, maybe women in Philly just have more self respect than to fawn all over a guy just because he's a guy. Or maybe you think it's okay for men to not be friendly when women should be? And maybe it's exactly that kind of double standard that puts women off.
I am not buying this idea that as a blonde, blue eyed white guy you don't fit in with "ethnic" Philly - I didn't read the whole topic so maybe someone else already pointed this out but didn't you mention you were from San Antonio? Apparently, Hispanics make up 64% of the population of San Antonio, whereas in Philly only 14.4%. Philly has a higher population of African Americans (41%), true - but it's still less than the Hispanic population in San Antonio by far and the "white alone" population is lower in San Antonio (25%) than Philly (35%) too, so I think your perception of things might be a little skewed regarding this.
If you feel like you don't fit in, it probably has more to do with your accent and perhaps other things that may mark you as stereotypically "southern", nothing to do with your hair, eye, or skin color. Not that there's anything wrong with being southern, but it does make you different and there's a lot of northern women who just aren't really into the whole southern culture (the accent, the music, the clothing, etc) when it comes to dating.
Also, on the issue of Philly people being brutally honest sometimes and you seemingly not taking that very well - the flip side to that is many northerners find southerners to be passive aggressive. So again, this may be a perception thing - you may perceive it as rude and mean but to northerners, your ways may come across as dishonest and passive aggressive. Maybe there is some truth to both perspectives, but you're never to fit in if you're completely unable to see their perspective too.
Most of the posts that the OP has stated that he takes offense to came from males. Then there's his description of what he likes in females. . . Classic bimbos. The last post that he made sounds like he also is partial to gold-diggers.
No place is for everyone. It sounds, to me, like Philadelphia is not for the OP.
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