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Old 04-17-2009, 03:35 PM
 
9,237 posts, read 19,610,621 times
Reputation: 22318

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I don't really have any advice; I just wanted to drop in and tell sassygirl18 how refreshing it is to see someone else whose life doesn't revolve around children! I'm sending you rep points!

People think I'm some horrible person when I say things like "I wish I could live in a neighborhood with no kids" or "I wish there were 'no kids' sections in restaurants, like non smoking sections."

I get so bored with all the posts asking about "family-oriented" "child-friendly" towns, etc. To me it seems that every place is child oriented and family friendly, but very few places are just for grownups besides bars and over-50 communities.

Not all of us are focused on replicating, and even though your little crumb munchers may be the most adorable things in the world, not everyone wants to be around them.

Hooray for Sassygirl18! I'm with you sister!
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Old 04-17-2009, 07:15 PM
 
1,623 posts, read 5,965,113 times
Reputation: 449
Allow me to retort:

Without so-called replication, you wouldn't be here. I agree that children don't belong at 4 star restaurants or adult only places, but barring that, it's a free country and, like it or not, they have rights just like you.

I have a dream that one day there will be an island or cordoned off piece of land for all the baby haters, genetically bankrupt, whatever other disparaging name I can think of for delusionials who want life minus the evidence of reproduction - and that they will all move there so they can sit around listening to their arteries harden, complaining about some other group that spoils their self centered view of the universe and talking about how great life is without children; ironically, one day there will be no life left there because no one will have been selfless enough to create it.

Think about it.
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Old 04-17-2009, 07:30 PM
 
9,237 posts, read 19,610,621 times
Reputation: 22318
Wow, relax man. I didn't say that I am against reproducing in general; I just don't care to do it myself. I also know "it's a free country" (I'm very vocal about individual freedoms in fact) and I never stated nor implied that people don't have the right to reproduce or that children don't have the right to be here. Sheesh.

I merely said that for those of us without kids, it gets really sickening after a while when so many seem to be obsessed with everything being kid-friendly. It was refreshing to find a poster asking about the opposite.

There are people who only talk about their kids, constantly. The kids, the kids, the kids. How fun Chuck E Cheese was, what a great sale there was at Children's Place, that last compelling episode of Dora the Explorer or Diego, how what little junior did or said yesterday was so cute.
I feel the same way about people who insist in talking about their cats all the time (and I have cats) or people who talk about American Idol or Desperate Houswives all the time.

Basically every town or neighborhood (apart from a crack slum) is "child firendly" or "family oriented." So it's stupid for people to ask about finding such a place, as if it's difficult. I was applauding the OP for actually asking about places that aren't centered around kids.
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Old 04-17-2009, 07:34 PM
 
Location: NJ
980 posts, read 2,477,643 times
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And Orrombl, please don't make assumptions about childfree folks being self-centered. One doesn't have to have children to contribute to the world. In fact, I would argue that childfree people, by nature of not being tied down with the responsibilities of childrearing, have much more time, energy and resources to devote to making the world a better place for everyone, including your kids. And let's also not forget that most people have children for all kinds of selfish reasons.

TracySam, thanks for the props.
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Old 04-17-2009, 08:51 PM
 
1,623 posts, read 5,965,113 times
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TracySam:

I just don't understand that you wouldn't dare say in public these things about other races or sexualities but it's ok to villify children and families. There are LOTS of people I don't care to live near but I don't go online bashing them and actively expressing my disdain and exasperation at having to share the world with them - I realize it is both offensive to others and not realistic anyway.

Sounds to me like you just need to find a new group of friends - I have kids and I am far from one to talk about them ad nauseum - I don't bring them up unless asked.

And I agree that people who "childify" their pets and have photo albums, strollers etc are way creepy - would you really rather live in a community of those people than have to put up with kids?

Sassy:
I was not referring to you at all, though I still find the search for all the positives of a great suburb - minus children - a tad unrealistic to say the least. I'm of the opinion that children are one of the things that make for a great place to live. Hence my semi-tongue-in-cheek reference to an island or nice piece of land for people who really can't stand children and families that much.

And while I don't deny that the childfree can contribute in ways beyond having kids, I wonder how many are doing so vs just going on one more vacation, buying more cars, clothes, things, or just reading a few more books. Personally, I would much rather hear about someone's kids than their charity work or what book they just read.

I don't begrudge anyone the decision not to have kids for whatever reasons; I just don't appreciate being begrudged my decision and hearing all the negative sentiments and slurs aimed at people for doing what, as far as I can tell, we were designed to do in the first place. I just get tired of people who speak as if they didn't already benefit from the process and act as if they are not aware that if everyone stopped reproducing, bad things would happen.

It seems to me that there are adults only living complexes, albeit over 55, and there are bars, resorts and gambling establishments galore where kids are not welcome; also I'm sure college towns and places like Manayunk, Northern Liberties probably have less children than the norm. If that's not enough, as I also said before, one can always move to the country or the woods where neighbors of all kinds are not an issue.

Oh and back to the original question:

Ridley Park and Morton have less kids under 5 than the other surrounding parts of Delco - may be worth a look.

Last edited by orrmobl; 04-17-2009 at 09:36 PM..
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Old 04-19-2009, 05:04 AM
 
Location: NJ
980 posts, read 2,477,643 times
Reputation: 1860
I appreciate that you were not referring to me, and I agree that TracySam's tone was a bit provocative.

I am not looking for a place that's free of children. In fact, I like children. But I am hoping to find a town where EVERYTHING doesn't revolve around kids and "families" (although I consider my hubby, me and 3 cats a family, others don't). In other words, a town with a a nice mixture of different types of households - families with kids, seniors, singles, couples without kids, old and young. Where I am NOT looking to live is a place where 95% of the population is married couples with kids and only 5% is everyone else.

For example, I live in Cherry Hill, and Cherry Hill is all about families. Hey everyone on this board....if you have kids and want to live someplace with good schools that's all about families, move to Cherry Hill. As an example, the parks and rec brochure comes out every year in the spring, advertising all the town events and let me tell you that there is pretty much nothing in that brochure that is not geared toward kids, families with kids or seniors. Everyone else is pretty much ignored as though we don't exist.

I realize the best place for us in this regard would be to live in the city, but we're just not into city living. We like working there, we like hanging out there for dinner, live music, shows and other things, but living IN a city is just not really our style. We like to have space, cars, grass, trees, quiet, safety, windows on all sides of our house, etc.

And one final note...I don't subscribe to the idea that everyone should be childfree, and I respect each person's personal choice on how they want to live their life. But the fact is, our world is overpopulated, overheated, overpolluted and likely teetering on the egde of extinction, and most of this can be directly linked to too many people having too many kids, so I don't share the idea that we are all meant to reproduce. I think it's something that should be done thoughtfully and with restraint, and it should be looked at as something one chooses to do, but unfortunately that is not the case here in America as well as in the rest of the world. In most cases it's done reflexivly because it's what one is taught they are "supposed to do".
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Old 04-19-2009, 05:06 AM
 
Location: NJ
980 posts, read 2,477,643 times
Reputation: 1860
P.S. Checked out Ridley Park and really liked the old architecture, but we're looking for a town that's a little more upscale. Think upper middle class. Haven't checked out Morton yet.
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Old 04-19-2009, 06:19 PM
 
9,237 posts, read 19,610,621 times
Reputation: 22318
Provocative? That's what I get for being supportive of someone. And unlike you, my reasons for not reproducing have nothing to do with alleged global warming or supposed over-population.


Orrmobl, relax, I'm not "villifying" you. It's quite the opposite in fact. You are in the majority. You win. Nearly everyone is like you with regard to kids. There's no reason to be so hostile against people who don't like kids: we are the minority, we're the ones who are marginalized and villified. Mostly everyone loves kids and likes everything in life to revolve around them. But they all seem to villify the small percentage of us who don't want kids and who don't enjoy being around them.

It has nothing to do with selfishness, or wanting vacations or new cars. That's just the easy stone for others to hurl against us. Not wanting kids is just so unfathomable to people like you that the only explanation you can come up with is that we must be self-centered.

You sound as if you hear about people like me all the time. That's shocking to me. Where the heck are you meeting all these other people who don't like kids? I'm 39 and I think I've only met like 3-4 other people in my entire life who don't want kids, or who don't like being around them.

I'm not saying others should be like us, but just maybe respect our wishes once in a great while.
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Old 04-20-2009, 03:51 AM
 
Location: NJ
980 posts, read 2,477,643 times
Reputation: 1860
TracySam

I think referring to peoples' kids as "little crumb munchers" could be perceived as provocative. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate your support.

I didn't choose not to have kids for the global warming/overpopulation reason either. I stated that fact because I think the idea that we are "meant to" reproduce is very dangerous as evidenced by the resulting damage to our planet. Maybe at one time it was important for every person to reproduce, but at this point in history, I think it would serve us all well if people scaled back a little.
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Old 04-20-2009, 09:13 AM
 
9,237 posts, read 19,610,621 times
Reputation: 22318
If you find "crumb munchers" a provocative statement, you're way too sensitive to hear any of my other opinions
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