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Old 07-18-2013, 10:44 AM
 
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This is something I've been contemplating lately. With the world the way it is now, why would anyone want to bring a child into this world? It's not as if you are doing them a favor -- it's all about you, and what you want, but for what?

Are you a genius? I mean, what do you think you are giving the world by bring a child into it, other than an heir, or someone to name Junior? Unless your progeny is guaranteed to be a miracle chemist that cures cancer, I'm not sure the world is any better off for having had a child added.

Don't get me wrong; I have two kids & now two grandkids. But hearing how everyone has such a hard time living, how most of us are never going to be millionaires no matter how hard we work, we'll never be able to retire & vacation the way we thought we would when we started saving, the world is at war, our children can't get a decent education for cuts, or go to college without having massive loans that cripples them for life...

Is the single-most selfish act a person can do, is to have a child?
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Old 07-18-2013, 10:46 AM
 
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Social security, take care of me when I get old.

Also, in the big picture, it is a biological need to procreate.

I think the reason is, because having a child is a means to extend yourself; If asking why have a child, also ask, why (should you) live tomorrow?
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Old 07-18-2013, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
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You're kidding, right?! You come on a parenting forum and tell everyone that they are selfish for having children? The first 2 paragraphs of your post are nothing but insulting to all of us (wait for it!!)...parents.

Lemme get my popcorn...this should be a good show...
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:05 AM
 
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Nobody knows how their kid will turn out, so there cannot be much of a "contribution" argument. With that said, both my husband and I hope that our child will be a productive contributor to the human community. We plan to implement every measure we know of and utilize all resources available to us to raise a compassionate, motivated, and loving child. Further, our species has always been at war, has always had a horrible component. This pretty much reduces your argument to an objection of the existence of humans. I'm not sure what to say to you about that. In that vein why do you value a cancer research scientist or any person seeking to extend life? Anyhow, while there is much turmoil, there is also a whole lot of beauty and beautiful people out there. So, I think it comes down to a glass half full/empty position.

I will say that my decision to have a child was of course selfish. I wanted to experience unconditional love and that's what I have now. Life doesn't get any better for my dh and I.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
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It was completely a selfish decision on our part. We procreated because that's what we wanted to do. While we expect them to be contributing members of society (you don't have to be genius or find the cure for cancer to be a contributor), we didn't procreate to make the world a better place. If they happen to do that by their individual actions, great.

Last edited by riaelise; 07-18-2013 at 12:02 PM..
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Colorado
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LOL I didn't want kids at all! And it wasn't because I worried about the world I was bringing them into, I just didn't want the responsibility. And honestly, in general, I don't really like kids. At least other people's kids. I could never work with children, in any kind of profession that calls for that.

Then I got pregnant. And it was such a magical thing, I was in love with being a Mom from the moment I knew it was happening. I didn't plan it. I didn't "make a decision" to have kids...at least not the first time around. But when it happened I felt it my heart, soul, gut...it was meant to be. My kids gave my life meaning. It doesn't matter what they do or don't contribute, or if any of us ever become millionaires or any of that stuff. My life is worth living because my kids are amazing, to me. That's it. Even now, they are 11 and 14 years old, and I could just sit and look at their faces all day (although they think I'm a total weirdo when I just stare at 'em like that. lol)

And also, I really do not believe that the world, our nation, or society, is really any worse now than it's ever been. We just have different problems and every one of our worries is blown out of proportion because we have the media and internet. Looking at various times in history, I can point to other occurrences of many of the abuses and outrages we get all fusty about right now. I do think there are still opportunities for prosperity, I don't think the world or the USA is going down the toilet, and I won't give up on hope or optimism, ever, while I draw breath. I don't waste my time on doom and gloom (says the former goth chick) and I don't believe in any apocalypse (but zombies are totally awesome.)

I'm glad I've got my kids in the world with me and I can't WAIT to see what they grow up to be, and as long as they strive for happiness and know how to appreciate it when it comes, hey...it's all good.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:40 PM
 
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I never desired biological kids but my husband convinced me that he wanted them, so I did. And I'm glad to have them, of course, I love being their mother. I would prefer to adopt from now on though.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:17 PM
 
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Talking Great question!

Quote:
Originally Posted by plmokn View Post
If asking why have a child, also ask, why (should you) live tomorrow?


I never thought about that...

Well, first thing I think of is because of my kids and grandkids. I want to see them grow, hear them laugh, watch them succeed, or help them if they fail. If not for my kids, then for my husband, just to drive him nuts. LOL

I don't know. I am happy. I like my house and my social life. I couldn't care less about working, but who does? It certainly isn't because I'm a miracle worker; if anything, I'm a misfit.

But I'm already here, and I'm not one to contemplate death, so I guess I will live until I die.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:20 PM
 
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Talking So far, so good

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose View Post
You're kidding, right?! You come on a parenting forum and tell everyone that they are selfish for having children? The first 2 paragraphs of your post are nothing but insulting to all of us (wait for it!!)...parents.

Lemme get my popcorn...this should be a good show...
I'm a parent too, and a grandparent.

This is just something I was wondering about. I don't know why I wanted kids, I guess it was just a need I had. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but looking around me at the violence and bullying and lack of funding for education just got me thinking, is it going to be worse for my grandkids? What about their kids?

I did not mean it to be insulting at all, and so far it looks like most people have taken my question at face value, and I thank you for that.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post


because of my kids and grandkids. I want to see them grow, hear them laugh, watch them succeed,
Why do you want to do this?
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