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Are any of these criticisms of sex positivism true?
1) It goes against God's wishes.
2) It is degrading to women.
3) It is incompatible with the protestant work ethic.
4) Everyone will be too busy ****ing to care for one another.
5) If sex isn't heavily regulated it will cause rampant problems of std's, teen pregnancies, unplanned/unwanted pregnancies, and rape.
6) Sex isn't a basic need so there is nothing wrong with blocking people from having sex.
7) You can't take care of yourself and be sexually active at the same time.
8) If enough or certain people don't want you having sex then you shouldn't have sex or at the very least you should have to compromise or cut a deal with them to have sex.
9) The self, including our desires, is socially constructed and there is no way to tell the difference between coercion and socially constructing the self.
10) Cheating on your partner is wrong and the definition of sex positivism doesn't adequately dismiss it.
11) Sex positivism doesn't allow us to address unfair biases and prejudices people have when choosing who to have sex with.
12) Since it's possible to be a sex positivist and not engage in sexual behavior S I am not refusing to let you be a sex positivist by blocking you from engaging in sexual behavior S.
13) Sex positivism will never work because other people will do everything in their power to keep it from working.
14) Full grown adults don't have enough time to be this sexually active and sex is too complicated for people who aren't adults to safely practice.
15) Sex is no fun if there isn't an element of breaking the rules to it.
16) Sex positivism doesn't take power imbalances into consideration.
17) You can't just have sex whenever you feel like it, consequences be damned.
18) Sex positivism has to led to rampant problems of people mistaking sex for emotional closeness.
19) Sex positivism is just setting people up to be targeted by sex traffickers, drug dealers, and other unsavory types.
20) People should worry less about sex and more about families and retirement.
21) If we don't promote the nuclear family more society will fall apart.
22) Sex positivism is based on the same logic as free market economics and therefore is faulty.
23) For some people the idea of sex can trigger mental health problems and we have to be inclusive of these people.
24) You need rules of conduct in place for when trying to convince people to change their beliefs or lifestyle and sex positivism doesn't have that.
Not aware of this 'sex positive philosophy'. Your questions seem to focus on dynamics that could be better addressed by the suppressed work of Wilhelm Reich who looked for scientific explanations on the topic of sex' role in humanity's development.
You may find these enlightening in a different sex positive way.
A condensed portion of his 'sex positive' philosophy:
Babies articulate the suppressed feeling of the parents
Babies are born without any sense of irrational-ism
Developed measure for the Concept of ‘Life Energy’ (Orgone Energy) as the antithesis to Atomic Energy.
Orgasmic Potency is basis for psychic and physical well-being. When two human energetic systems melt together losing control in loving devotion to each other, this orgasmic potency in Reich’s view is the basis for human health. Sex is not an Olympian discipline and it’s also not about Olympic Games of who sleeps with whom as often as possible, but this concept is about the question of the function of the orgasm, the devotion to life; In this case, of the devotion also to physical love given as a concrete example. This is only possible if body, mind and soul of the milieu is coherent. This is a complex system which Reich didn’t describe in an idealistic sense but in a very scientific sense.
Whereas, Freud stood for authoritarian view Reich stood out against it and against the Mass Psychology of Fascism. Reich’s desire was to free the individual. Emotional education is neglected.
The human being (M/F) is constructed of three layers. On the surface he or she wears an artificial mask of self-control; of compulsive unauthentic politeness of ostentatious sociability. By means of this he covers the second layer, the Freudian unconscious, in which sadism, greed, lasciviousness, envy, and perversions of all kinds are kept in check without losing the slightest amount of their power.
The second layer is the artificial product of the culture which denies sexuality and is consciously sensed only as inner emptiness and dullness. In the third layer, the biological core – live and do have an effect of the natural sociability and sexuality. The spontaneous lust for work and the ability to love is the only hope for mankind to cope one day with the social misery.
While the Freudian therapy aims at a suppression of the previous feeling, Reich’s work is about the natural self-regulation of emotions. It was about self-determination; it was about finding out “Who Am I?”
It was about having a critical look at authorities and practical constraints. But the big riddle is as he wrote in the forward of “Mass Psychology of Fascism” why we born free, again and again go into slavery.
OK erm...as someone who does try and represent sex positivism, though it does not exist in a vacuum exclusive of any number of other ideologies and philosophies one might also believe in or practice...I'll try to respond to this.
1. Not everyone believes in God. I believe in a God-like concept having nothing to do with religion.
2. It's not remotely degrading to women. The point is freedom for women to enjoy sex, express ourselves sexually, and make our own sexual choices. Consent is highly and consistently emphasized in all sex positive social groups. (Which I assume that you're completely unfamiliar with, unless these odd ideas came from someone besides yourself.)
3. I have no idea about a Protestant work ethic, as I am not a Protestant or any flavor of Christian at all.
4. What? Why so absolute? I like cats but I'm not so busy hanging out with the one I have, that I neglect my partner and my sons or don't go to work. I like lots of things, without devoting the totality of my time to them. What a weird thing to even say, but one of many here, I'm afraid. Hey...I live with an absolute lack of shame regarding sex...that, to me, is "sex positivity"...but I am hardly so busy getting it on that I can't do anything else.
5. The most sex positive people I know have lower rates of those things because they communicate honestly and openly and are educated, regarding prevention, safety, and testing. You can have only one partner that you rarely have sex with, yet catch something or get pregnant if you are not doing responsible sexual health practices.
6. Some people need sex, to feel healthy, happy and fulfilled, to bond, or whatever. Some don't. Ever meet an asexual? I know several. They do not need sex. I don't see any reason to block any consenting adults from having sex. But those two words are key, always. Consenting. Adults.
7. For many people, being sexually active is part of self care. I feel much better when I am enjoying an active sex life with my partner. 8. This is the only one that I can convolute my brain into finding kinda true. If you cannot convince anyone to CONSENT to sex with you, for some reason, or if you are underage for instance (if you cannot secure a sexual encounter with the fundamental rule of "consenting adults" in place) then I guess you should not have sex. You certainly should not force anyone to have sex with you. Or as you say, compromise or a deal as in visiting a professional, may be an option.
9. I have no idea what this is even supposed to mean. My best guess...that since we are mostly made up of the influences of society shaping us, we have no free will. Are you trying to argue that rape should be fine? I won't be buying that in any way, shape or form, no matter how you attempt to word it.
10. Cheating on a partner, which I will define as breaking the agreements of the relationship and concealing the fact from your partner, employing deception, generally, to do so, or only making them aware after the deed is done...(Note: Just having sex with someone else, does NOT automatically constitute cheating in my book)...is unethical based on all of the expected partnership conventions of most areas of society that I'm aware of. Whether it is objectively "right" or "wrong" is irrelevant. It is rightful grounds for you to lose the trust of a partner, and likely your relationship. If your partner feels wronged...then good luck using any ideology to "dismiss" it. Also, most of the sex positive people I know (many) do not condone cheating.
11. Like what? What is an unfair bias or prejudice that anyone has when they choose who to have sex with? I don't think that there is such a thing. No one owes anyone sex, ever. If you cannot find anyone who will consent to have sex with you, then that is your problem and no one else's. There. I addressed that for ya, from my "sex positive" perspective.
12. I have no idea what this means. Are you saying that if someone is a sex positivist, they must allow you to do whatever you want to them or they're somehow hypocritical? Weird and doesn't make sense.
13. I know hundreds of sex positive people and attend conventions with thousands of others from all over the world. There are entire communities, clubs, events, classes, books, websites, blogs, and so on, devoted to this. I don't see how it will never work, because no one is stopping us.
14. Are you a minor? Full grown adults can find plenty of time to have sex. There are significant issues with minors engaging in sex, but it's damn likely they are going to regardless of what anybody thinks about it. It is vital to teach comprehensive sex ed, with a strong focus on consent, as well as proper sexual health standards, so that should they choose to do so as many will, they'll know how to mitigate risk.
15. If you need an element of "breaking the rules" to have fun, then there are ethical ways to go about that. If you don't know what that means, there are entire books on the subject in the self help section of most bookstores, that can help you.
16. Sex positivism ABSOLUTELY takes power imbalances into consideration. Sex positive does not mean, "advocates that everyone shag non stop all the time." Power imbalances can and do effect consent. Here is an acronym if you don't know what proper consent means: FRIES - Freely given. Reversible. Informed. Enthusiastic. Specific. Let me know if you find any of that confusing. 17. Here is another one that I actually agree with. It is unethical to force anyone to have sex against their will. It is also unethical to engage in solo or partnered sexual stimulation in a public space where anyone might happen to see, this treads on "consent" because voyeurism is a sexual act, ergo by forcing someone to "voyeur" your activities without securing consent you have violated their consent. So no, you cannot simply have sex whenever you feel like it. (Again, no sex positivist I know has advocated for sex with no rules whatsoever.)
18. Understanding the difference between sex and emotional closeness is a function of growing up, gaining life experience, and becoming emotionally intelligent and mature. If anything, it helps to have a sex positive attitude, because you won't feel as though sex is either excessively shameful or sacred, and should ONLY ever be shared in the context of deep emotional commitment...which would then lead one to think that if such feeling were unreciprocated, they've been tricked or wronged. Rather than understanding that sometimes your partner might end up just not really that into you, and they have that right as much as you do. Which is more in line with sex-positive thinking.
19. It really is not. Driving something underground only empowers the black market.
20. People should worry about whatever they find meaningful to worry about. And not worry about what other people are worrying about quite so much.
21. I doubt it. I'd rather see extended families and communities promoted, including chosen families and intentional communities. I don't like the nuclear family unit as the gold standard of society, because it is the easiest one to exploit for profit, which is exactly what the suits at the heads of business and government have done.
22. While there could be some parallels between sex positivism and free market economics, I do not find it especially faulty for that reason. False equivalency.
23. Sex and sexuality are normal parts of the human experience, to the point that if someone is triggered to the extent of danger to themselves or others, because of the "idea of sex," then they should seek professional treatment up to and including hospitalization. Yes, I really mean that. If this is you, get help. It is completely fine for someone to be asexual, to make the personal choice to not engage in sex. You cannot however expect the entire world around you, to tiptoe around your triggers in the name of inclusivity. You really cannot ask others to change how they think, or live, to make all of society around you, a safe space for you specifically at everyone else's expense. That is not how life works.
24. Sex positivism absolutely DOES have that. Sex positive communities have many rules. I belong to one, help run it in fact, and I can assure you, we have many rules. They just are not the same ones you may be used to.
I have the distinct feeling that you deliberately chose wording that was twisty and difficult to make sense of, to get someone that you're feeling salty towards (a sex positive person, who, presumably has sex when you do not) to give you an answer that you can say, "Aha!" and then follow on with some ridiculous premise that no rational person would agree with. You'd be better served communicating more clearly and having a real conversation, I think, but whatever.
To me, the value of sex is its ability to provide the bliss of orgasms. These can strengthen human relationships, when both partners receive additional satisfaction from pleasuring each other, but they don't have to do this to have value.
Therefore, I find criticisms of pornography and prostitution on the basis that they cheapen an activity that should be exclusive to human connection to be pointless. If we are criticizing them, we should do it on the basis of exploitation of the employees.
Perhaps the easy availability of sexual pleasure does on some level make interpersonal sexual relationships less appealing, but:
1. too bad, this doesn't justify restrictions on freedom
2. a relationship that can't survive without sex probably shouldn't survive anyway
15) Sex is no fun if there isn't an element of breaking the rules to it.
Gawd, this is gross!
OP, you're WAY overthinking. Just relax and enjoy. THat's all it is, really. Throw out the baggage, and just have fun, but respect other people's boundaries. If the baggage is inside your head, get professional help for that.
Sex is how all living species exchange genetic material to reproduce new generations.
Humans have overlain the mechanical process with pageantry.
You can keep your mechanical process.
Pageantry is fun.
I like fun.
We do many things that other animals don't. I don't hate being human for that fact. You're using a computer to talk to people on the other side of the planet right now, what basic biological purpose does that serve?
We do many things that other animals don't. I don't hate being human for that fact. You're using a computer to talk to people on the other side of the planet right now, what basic biological purpose does that serve?
So "sex positivism" is not about the sex, but is about the ceremonial posturing that has come to adorn sex. Just as fashion positivism is not about protecting ourselves from the elements, or food positivism about nutrition. It's all just complying with the dogmatic ceremonies.
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