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An associate received three invitations since early April 2021. In each case they then invited me. I feel this is a violation of some social etiquette because it fails to take into account the feelings and the desires of the people who invited them. I saw no other forum where this question might belong. What's the rule being broken? All we can do is contact the person who invited the associate and explain why we did not accept the invitation by the associate. Knowing this associate though they will likely say that they were given permission to invite me.
One of the invites was to a birthday party. If John Doe is invited to Jane Wilson's party, is it proper for John to invite his friends to the party when they are strangers to Jane Wilson? We say they are out of bounds by inviting others. I can see it now, here comes some stranger walking down the driveway and the host wonders and ask others "who is that do you know them?" And up pops the associate to say "oh I invited them." Thanks.
An associate received three invitations since early April 2021. In each case they then invited me. I feel this is a violation of some social etiquette because it fails to take into account the feelings and the desires of the people who invited them. I saw no other forum where this question might belong. What's the rule being broken? All we can do is contact the person who invited the associate and explain why we did not accept the invitation by the associate. Knowing this associate though they will likely say that they were given permission to invite me.
One of the invites was to a birthday party. If John Doe is invited to Jane Wilson's party, is it proper for John to invite his friends to the party when they are strangers to Jane Wilson? We say they are out of bounds by inviting others. I can see it now, here comes some stranger walking down the driveway and the host wonders and ask others "who is that do you know them?" And up pops the associate to say "oh I invited them." Thanks.
This is one of those "it depends" kind of things.
Sometimes, people are okay with an invited guest bringing a "plus one" (even if it's a platonic friend) to a party--especially if the invitee knows only the person who's throwing the party. This used to happen a lot when I was younger; it was always good to bring some new blood into a group at a casual party. Sometimes, this sort of thing leads to the natural expansion of a given social circle. Heck, a lot of the friends, acquaintances, and couples I know met in this manner.
If you don't want to or aren't comfortable going to a party where you don't know the host or guest of honor, it's okay to pass on the invite.
Sometimes, people are okay with an invited guest bringing a "plus one" (even if it's a platonic friend) to a party--especially if the invitee knows only the person who's throwing the party. This used to happen a lot when I was younger; it was always good to bring some new blood into a group at a casual party. Sometimes, this sort of thing leads to the natural expansion of a given social circle. Heck, a lot of the friends, acquaintances, and couples I know met in this manner.
If you don't want to or aren't comfortable going to a party where you don't know the host or guest of honor, it's okay to pass on the invite.
I wouldn't show up with a plus one or ask if I could bring one. Maybe when you're young but throughout the next 50+ years of your life I think it is rude and inconsiderate.
I wouldn't show up with a plus one or ask if I could bring one. Maybe when you're young but throughout the next 50+ years of your life I think it is rude and inconsiderate.
Oh, I would never ask to bring someone along if I were the invited guest (either when I was younger or at present), although I have had it happen when I've had to decline an invite due a close friend or relative being in town and the host has said to bring them along to the event. It's rare that I've actually taken them up on the offer. Mind you that these have been events at a person's home or a bar rather than out at a restaurant where reservations were made in advance for a large party.
As a host, I've never minded when this has happened when I'm having a gathering at the house.
An associate received three invitations since early April 2021. In each case they then invited me.
What type of event(s)?
Quote:
Originally Posted by howard555
I feel this is a violation of some social etiquette because it fails to take into account the feelings and the desires of the people who invited them. I saw no other forum where this question might belong. What's the rule being broken? All we can do is contact the person who invited the associate and explain why we did not accept the invitation by the associate. Knowing this associate though they will likely say that they were given permission to invite me.
Why would you contact the person who invited the associate to explain why you won’t accept the (what you perceive to be an illegitimate) invitation? If said person/the host didn’t invite you, you won’t be missed; no call necessary.
Quote:
Originally Posted by howard555
I saw no other forum where this question might belong.
What about Non-Romantic Relationships, Work and Employment (depending upon what type of events you’re speaking to) or even mental health (based in re: how you’re feeling). It certainly doesn’t belong in a Philosophy Forum.
Other than business events, if I am not invited by the host of the event, I don't go. For business, invitations pass through the hierarchy until someone accepts. Could be tickets to the opera or a charity affair for which the inviter has "bought" a table. Since these are not personal invitations, but rather business connections, I accept these.
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