What does it mean "to connect" with something? (religion, humans)
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When people connect with someone, what do they mean when they say: "I feel a connection"?
I think they are saying: "I am feeling positive feelings when I am interacting with this person".
So, a person sees another person...a shape first... So his brain is receiving the visual information and then his brain goes: beep beep beep...processing... and it processes and uses some parameters to conclude whether the shape was something favorable or not.
Then, the body must be triggering some physical sensations (perceived as feelings or emotions). And a person could either feel drawn to this shape, or repelled, or indifferent.
So when the person finds the shape favorable, the person is drawn to interact (if possible). So he asks a question and receives an answer. His brain just received another piece of information (now audible) and is processing again... and calculates whether it was a "good" thing or a "bad" thing which just happened.
At this point the person could be drawn further, or repelled or maybe even become indifferent.
So the other person is also processing all the incoming information about this person.
So them interacting - is the exchange of information.
Information forces the brain to analyze, calculate decisions and that in turn makes the brain trigger physical sensations (feelings/emotions).
So, maybe to say that "we have a connection" is to say that our interactions keep triggering the body to produce positive physical sensations?
When interactions produce positive physical sensations, the body is motivated to keep interactions going. So it keeps creating these commands: go and talk to this person again... and maybe this is what we perceive as "we are being drawn to a person". Our body is compelling us to interact again. Because it calculated that these interactions are good for us to have.
Ok, so having a connection is the first step to bonding. (Where "having a connection" means that your interactions keep producing positive feelings).
Bonding reminds me of proteins... somewhere I heard that they are randomly bumping into each other until they find the right one (with the right receptor or connector or something). When they find the right one, they bond.
So when you keep producing positive feelings as a result of interactions, it makes sense to keep these interactions going. So you will keep doing it (if possible). So when does "bonding" take place? And what is it?
I think it's a point at which you start to care about another person. I don't know, but it seems we start to care about someone when we know their story, when we put all the pieces together. Like when we first meet them, they are just a shape. When we exchange a few pieces of information, they are just pieces... not really giving us a picture of this person. But finally when we receive enough information about this person to draw a mental picture of his/her personality in our head, then it's the point when we start to care. Maybe because now it's a person, living inside of our mind. We have created the picture out of all the information. We simulate this person now in our mind and he exists there.
When two things bond, they become one. That's the idea. So when we bond with someone, we become one in some sense. How is that?
We are one when we feel their pain. We are one when we feel their happiness. When you hurt them, you hurt us. When they are happy, we are happy because of their happiness.
So how does this happen? How do we start to care about their pain and their joy? At what point does it start to affect our body/mind system?
Is it because this simulated person now lives in our head? So because we have a simulation of them in our head, we now know how they react to things, we know when they are in pain? We basically simulate the situation and imagine ourselves in their place and then feel their pain? But it could just be empathy. The person doesn't need to live in our head.
But how is empathy possible? Is it when you know the person and know which things may be painful for them? Or is empathy when you assume that the things are painful for them because they would be to you?
But don't we have empathy with strangers? Can't we feel strangers' pain? Why does it require for someone to be close to us? Or does it?
I am just thinking... If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, you're welcome to help.
Like you said it is complicated with things like chemical or visual triggers. But I think it's when people have similar perceptions and solutions (choosing the same thing) to the surrounding environmental conditions.
For some people it will be far more simple, perhaps. For some maybe the "shape" or something like voice or basic symmetry is all that's needed to spark an interest.
But for me...
I'm a nerd. A geek. A goofy intellectual with a myriad of semi-obscure interests. My first indicators that someone is what I refer to as "one of Mine" or "My People" (those to whom I feel "connected" and care about) will be any signals present that they also share in similar interests. A D20 necklace, a GWAR shirt, a Star Trek pin, blue hair, tattoos or piercings, a Monty Python reference tossed casually into conversation. Humans are, I believe, wired to seek community, tribalism. For some it's as simple a matter as skin color or religion. For others who have strongly determined to set that sort of thing aside, it's simple commonality of interests. I want to be around people who will go to the same events, people with whom I can have conversations, people who get my references and my sense of humor.
Once that initial bond is formed, ongoing communications, lack of trust-damaging incidents, and getting more comfortable with acceptance of each other builds the strength of the friendship. And one thing that really cements it is when you share external hardship. If you are present for one another through a difficult time, you feel very much closer. It is your brain's way of telling you who is reliable and who isn't.
My own strongest connections are with the band GWAR and a number of the fans. There are maybe 300 people I'm acquainted with because of them...we know each other by face and name. We have met. Of those, if I had to pick a list of people to invite to a party of my own choosing, people I would call "friends"...there would be 60 or so. Of those, the ones I'd lend money to if they asked...maybe 10. So there are layers to the connection I have with people, even among my own chosen family of individuals in the world.
I consider myself more "connected" than most people I know and it is a source of much happiness for me.
Are you referring to the last sentence of my post? If so, then the answer to that is "no." I know many people who feel a serious lack of connection with others in their lives. And I know many who are only connected with blood relatives and maybe coworkers. People that life has dropped into their laps so to speak. So when I say that I feel more connected than most people, I don't mean that to brag but rather to state that I am very grateful. I believe I've been blessed with a wide community of great individuals that make my life more full and interesting. I don't think everyone has this. I do not take it for granted.
Are you referring to the last sentence of my post? If so, then the answer to that is "no." I know many people who feel a serious lack of connection with others in their lives. And I know many who are only connected with blood relatives and maybe coworkers. People that life has dropped into their laps so to speak. So when I say that I feel more connected than most people, I don't mean that to brag but rather to state that I am very grateful. I believe I've been blessed with a wide community of great individuals that make my life more full and interesting. I don't think everyone has this. I do not take it for granted.
You are correct and I'm proof of that. I don't connect with hardly anyone.
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. I always wanted to connect with them..
