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Old 12-06-2007, 05:02 PM
 
2,902 posts, read 9,354,691 times
Reputation: 418

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Quote:
Sometimes break-ups are for the best if you feel as if life is taking you onto divergent paths. It's been painstaking to make the 75-minute drive each way to my boyfriend's new home on the New York/New Jersey border, and I'm noticing that he and I seem to have less and less in common as the days progress. Today is our 3-month anniversary, and I must admit the "passion" largely seems to have escaped us. Our first date was simply magical---we wound up making out in my car for a half-hour. Now that the "spark" is gone, we're having a much harder time finding middle ground; I have a lot of ambitions and goals in the future, and he's still moreso up in the air about everything in life. I want to pursue my MBA, CPA, Ph.D., and then eventually run for political office in Scranton. He barely graduated high school and has no plans to further his education beyond that, meaning the pressure will be squarely upon my shoulders alone to provide for any future children we might decide to adopt, which will be difficult to do as I can already see signs that the cost-of-living in my part of the state is about to spike in about another decade.

I don't know if this has been your experience or not, but I've noticed that just about every gay male I've come across has had no professional ambition, and I truly don't know why. Most are in their 20s working retail jobs or at restaurants (if that) and have no plans to ever pursue better things in life than long hours and low pay. I have my entire future planned out, right down to adopting Sierra, my future Siberian Husky, and what actions I'd implement immediately to reinvent my city. I might very well find myself a bachelor in the coming years---I'm tiring of only dating and bumping into bumps on the logs who would be content sitting around the home with a box of Kleenex watching soap operas all day every day. My current partner couldn't care less about politics, and this worries me if I'm ever elected to the office of mayor and have to worry about him being bored at various social functions.

I personally don't think I'll ever find my "perfect" match, but I'm sure someone as outgoing, goal-oriented, and charismatic as you most certainly will. You've taken a step that I may also take just after the Holidays (I'd feel terribly letting him go right before Christmas like this). My only fear though is that given the extremely narrow dating pool in my area that I'll once again be alone for many more years to come.
Awww!! You poor thing. I can totally relate. It's SO hard being apart from someone you love. I mean, body language, eyes, laughs, smiles, scents etc, they all play a HUGE role in how we develop relationships with lovers, family, and friends.

When distance or anything else doesn't allow for such things, it can really hinder the relationship. I know I a much closer to my family in Pittsburgh than my family elsewhere in the country. I know when some of my closest friends leave the area we are no longer "best friends" despite what we may promise each other... it's just life. It sucks.

I am so like you, I am a rigid planner. I like stability in my life. LOL. Unfortunately, my relationship is no longer stable. Maybe someday it will be, again.
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Old 12-06-2007, 09:35 PM
 
511 posts, read 1,808,420 times
Reputation: 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
does this mean you're getting nailed via private message? Because I truly don't understand this.
That's it
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Old 12-06-2007, 09:37 PM
 
511 posts, read 1,808,420 times
Reputation: 90
:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre View Post
Anybody need a hug?

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Old 12-06-2007, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Erie, PA
713 posts, read 1,736,239 times
Reputation: 180
eeeeyyyyeeeeewwwwwww...what's wrong with two guys just being friends?....my goodness....is it because we don't make the distinction between different types of love in our culture? Greeks had different words for different types of love. Love does not have to equal sex...yikes...
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Old 12-07-2007, 03:49 AM
BVH
 
Location: Pennsylvania
944 posts, read 501,213 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre View Post
Sometimes break-ups are for the best if you feel as if life is taking you onto divergent paths. It's been painstaking to make the 75-minute drive each way to my boyfriend's new home on the New York/New Jersey border, and I'm noticing that he and I seem to have less and less in common as the days progress. Today is our 3-month anniversary, and I must admit the "passion" largely seems to have escaped us. Our first date was simply magical---we wound up making out in my car for a half-hour. Now that the "spark" is gone, we're having a much harder time finding middle ground; I have a lot of ambitions and goals in the future, and he's still moreso up in the air about everything in life. I want to pursue my MBA, CPA, Ph.D., and then eventually run for political office in Scranton. He barely graduated high school and has no plans to further his education beyond that, meaning the pressure will be squarely upon my shoulders alone to provide for any future children we might decide to adopt, which will be difficult to do as I can already see signs that the cost-of-living in my part of the state is about to spike in about another decade.

I don't know if this has been your experience or not, but I've noticed that just about every gay male I've come across has had no professional ambition, and I truly don't know why. Most are in their 20s working retail jobs or at restaurants (if that) and have no plans to ever pursue better things in life than long hours and low pay. I have my entire future planned out, right down to adopting Sierra, my future Siberian Husky, and what actions I'd implement immediately to reinvent my city. I might very well find myself a bachelor in the coming years---I'm tiring of only dating and bumping into bumps on the logs who would be content sitting around the home with a box of Kleenex watching soap operas all day every day. My current partner couldn't care less about politics, and this worries me if I'm ever elected to the office of mayor and have to worry about him being bored at various social functions.

I personally don't think I'll ever find my "perfect" match, but I'm sure someone as outgoing, goal-oriented, and charismatic as you most certainly will. You've taken a step that I may also take just after the Holidays (I'd feel terribly letting him go right before Christmas like this). My only fear though is that given the extremely narrow dating pool in my area that I'll once again be alone for many more years to come.
You just had your 3-month anniversary and the spark is gone? He sure must be a complete dud then! lol
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Old 12-07-2007, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
24,484 posts, read 26,375,428 times
Reputation: 55385
Guylocke, so sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend. Sounds like you made the right decision, but it still sucks. We'll all buy you a virtual drink.
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Old 12-07-2007, 11:04 AM
 
2,902 posts, read 9,354,691 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Guylocke, so sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend. Sounds like you made the right decision, but it still sucks. We'll all buy you a virtual drink.
Thank you, luv, that's very sweet of you. I could use a good drink!!
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Old 12-07-2007, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Marshall-Shadeland, Pittsburgh, PA
31,365 posts, read 69,981,374 times
Reputation: 17052
Quote:
Originally Posted by guylocke View Post
Thank you, luv, that's very sweet of you. I could use a good drink!!
I just turned 21. I'll buy!
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Old 12-07-2007, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Marshall-Shadeland, Pittsburgh, PA
31,365 posts, read 69,981,374 times
Reputation: 17052
Quote:
Originally Posted by kpoeppel View Post
eeeeyyyyeeeeewwwwwww...what's wrong with two guys just being friends?....my goodness....is it because we don't make the distinction between different types of love in our culture? Greeks had different words for different types of love. Love does not have to equal sex...yikes...
Have you seen guylocke's photo lately? Groowwwll!!!
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Old 12-08-2007, 10:10 PM
 
2,902 posts, read 9,354,691 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
eeeeyyyyeeeeewwwwwww...what's wrong with two guys just being friends?....my goodness....is it because we don't make the distinction between different types of love in our culture? Greeks had different words for different types of love. Love does not have to equal sex...yikes...
Well when two people are IN love and dedicate two years of their lives together and do INDEED have sex and share themselves emotionally, spiritually, and physically, it's a lot harder to just be "two guys that are friends."

It's the same exact situation if you were in a relationship with a girl for two years and had to call it off for whatever reason. I'm sure it would be very hard to just be "a guy and a gal just being friends"

I have ZILLIONS of "just guy friends." I hope my relationship can develop into a friendship, but it ain't happening yet.

Quote:
Have you seen guylocke's photo lately? Groowwwll!!!
Hush you!! And yes, they have, I've posted my myspace pics on here before.

Quote:
Love does not have to equal sex...yikes...
That's very, very true... it's just not a good situation when love DID equal sex (for lack of more thorough description) for two years and then started equaling something else. It's hurtful and awful for at least one party who doesn't feel the same way about the situation.
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