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I sure as hell would rather have 2 unmarried parents that love each other, than 2 miserable married parents who despise each other but "stay together for the kids".
I sure as hell would rather have 2 unmarried parents that love each other, than 2 miserable married parents who despise each other but "stay together for the kids".
Shallow. You assume that the two "miserable" parents couldn't have some semblence of a relationship in the presence of their kids. MANY husbands and wives stay together for the kids. I'd be willing to bet many of the kids don't know that until they're in their teens, when at that point cohesion is not quite as important as it is when children are in their formative years. Staying together for the kids is a noble, responsible thing to do in most cases.
Shallow. You assume that the two "miserable" parents couldn't have some semblence of a relationship in the presence of their kids. MANY husbands and wives stay together for the kids. I'd be willing to bet many of the kids don't know that until they're in their teens, when at that point cohesion is not quite as important as it is when children are in their formative years.
What's with you and calling people shallow? My statement was not shallow whatsoever. Would YOU rather live with 2 people who hate each other, or 2 people who don't hate each other? What difference does that magic piece of paper make?
I saw this happen year after year in HS. Kids stuck in households with screaming, fighting, miserable parents who didn't believe in divorce. It was just awful. I can think of 3 sleepovers where we called our parents to pick us up it was so bad! And I know one personally who has taken alllll of those nasty things she witnessed into her own marriage.
Why does the fact that the 2 parents have a piece of paper saying they're married make them better parents than the 2 parents that don't?
What's with you and calling people shallow? My statement was not shallow whatsoever. Would YOU rather live with 2 people who hate each other, or 2 people who don't hate each other? What difference does that magic piece of paper make?
I saw this happen year after year in HS. Kids stuck in households with screaming, fighting, miserable parents who didn't believe in divorce. It was just awful.
Why does the fact that the 2 parents have a piece of paper saying they're married make them better parents than the 2 parents that don't?
Parents who insist on fighting in front of their children are bad parents. Plain and simple. So, it sounds like these people never should have been parents to begin with. Which is a problem in and of itself.
Why exactly do you have to have a piece of paper saying you're married to be good parents or people?
Married people have an "escape clause" too, it's called divorce.
I have a good friend from high school whose parents never married. She is 33 now and they are still together. Compare that to the rest of my friends... most of them with divorced parents... I think her parents might be on to something.
(I'm married, FWIW)
I need to explain this? Are you not married? If you know all these people who are not and you think its so cool, then why are you? Indeed, if you are married, then why are you also a cheerleader for irresponsibility? If I knew you better, I might declare your marriage a sham. But I don't so I won't.
Sorry if I offend your hipster sensibility. The way I see it, if my parents could never have solidified their committment to each other, what kind of committment would they have with me? Children are not some kind of novelty. They are the most important job anyone will ever have.
Marriage confers rights upon the children. It prevents either parent from walking and shirking their responsibility. Now, don't even try contesting that point because you brought up divorce- the way to legally dissolve said marriage while preserving the childrens' rights and the parental responsibility with a mechanisms for enforcement. You know the details.
So to sum it up, if two people taken on the incredible (and rewarding) job of raising children, if they decide to not only bring human beings into existence, but also to love, nurture, and raise them to adulthood, and to make their children the first priority, then why in the name of hell can they not sign a simple piece of paper affirming all of this?
I sure as hell would rather have 2 unmarried parents that love each other, than 2 miserable married parents who despise each other but "stay together for the kids".
Most reasonable people would as well. But that is a different subject- many people get married who should never have married. Start a thread on that and I doubt you and I would disagree very much.
People get married for the wrong reasons and then they have kids. Not good.
I need to explain this? Are you not married? If you know all these people who are not and you think its so cool, then why are you? Indeed, if you are married, then why are you also a cheerleader for irresponsibility? If I knew you better, I might declare your marriage a sham. But I don't so I won't.
Sorry if I offend your hipster sensibility. The way I see it, if my parents could never have solidified their committment to each other, what kind of committment would they have with me? Children are not some kind of novelty. They are the most important job anyone will ever have.
Marriage confers rights upon the children. It prevents either parent from walking and shirking their responsibility. Now, don't even try contesting that point because you brought up divorce- the way to legally dissolve said marriage while preserving the childrens' rights and the parental responsibility with a mechanisms for enforcement. You know the details.
So to sum it up, if two people taken on the incredible (and rewarding) job of raising children, if they decide to not only bring human beings into existence, but also to love, nurture, and raise them to adulthood, and to make their children the first priority, then why in the name of hell can they not sign a simple piece of paper affirming all of this?
My husband wanted to get married, so I did. It was not some life affirming, necessary thing for me. It was a great party, a nice representation of our love, but not something necessary for us to have a good relationship.
Just because being married works for me, doesn't mean it HAS to work for other people. When it comes down to it, it really is just a piece of paper. Why on Earth would my marriage be a sham simply because I can see that different things work for different people? Obviously my friends who are not married are happy people, and great parents, so why the disdain towards them?
Marriage confers no rights onto children whatsoever... it most certainly does not prevent either parent from walking away.
The point is, happy, loving parents are what's important when raising children, not a marriage certificate.
Shallow. You assume that the two "miserable" parents couldn't have some semblence of a relationship in the presence of their kids. MANY husbands and wives stay together for the kids. I'd be willing to bet many of the kids don't know that until they're in their teens, when at that point cohesion is not quite as important as it is when children are in their formative years. Staying together for the kids is a noble, responsible thing to do in most cases.
Staying together for the kids isn't noble or responsible. Parents pretending to have a cordial relationship in front of the kids? For how long? And when the pretense slips? This is confusing for kids, and they are denied the opportunity to learn about honest, real and healthy relationships. Their expectations for their own relationships become unrealistic.
And more than that, what happens when the parents finally do tell their kids, hey, we're getting divorced. We haven't loved one another for a long time, we only stayed together for you. Children shouldn't have to bear the burden of years of unhappiness suffered by their parents, because the parents stayed together for the kids. And I personally know someone that this happened to. Who killed herself because of it.
So is the moral of the story abstinence education is not working?
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If you know all these people who are not and you think its so cool, then why are you? Indeed, if you are married, then why are you also a cheerleader for irresponsibility? If I knew you better, I might declare your marriage a sham. But I don't so I won't.
