Go Green, Cut Your Carbon Footprint, Don't Have Kids!

[Booya]

Originally Posted by Young Herman

I've known a lot of older women who were miserable as can be because they never settled down and had kids. They've been a lonely and pathetic bunch. When everyone is doting on their grand kids, they are spending their holidays with their pets, or reading a book on vacation, trying to score brownie points with the locals. I said it's better to have a family when you get older, so you don't end up like the lonely miserable old ladies living with their cats, but that's not the only reason. Most women who can have kids but don't are either mentally screwed up, or cant get a man, rarely is it by choice.

Hmmm. You seem to have a lot of info on "older women, " especially weird ones. I wonder where you hang out that there are so many "miserable" "emotionally screwed up" "cat ladies." lol!

The studies, the literature, and most people's experience don't support your reality. Maybe you need to get out more and meet more emotionally healthy people?

[chielgirl]

Originally Posted by Young Herman

I've known a lot of older women who were miserable as can be because they never settled down and had kids. They've been a lonely and pathetic bunch. When everyone is doting on their grand kids, they are spending their holidays with their pets, or reading a book on vacation, trying to score brownie points with the locals. I said it's better to have a family when you get older, so you don't end up like the lonely miserable old ladies living with their cats, but that's not the only reason. Most women who can have kids but don't are either mentally screwed up, or cant get a man, rarely is it by choice.

Gee, you've got the insight.
Oh boy, you're full of it (the insight, that is, of course).

[GoldenZephyr]

Originally Posted by chielgirl

You're going to breed so that your kids can take care of you.
There's no guarantee that they'll even like you.
Go look at any nursing home. Most of the residents are forgotten and neglected by their families.
Nothing more miserable than people who breed to have someone to love and take care of them in their old age.

I suspect that the people "abandoned" at nursing homes are ones who lived much of their life selfishly and taught their kids the same. Not always, but most likely.

The families I know, love their aging parents, the parents instilled in them a rich sense of love, honor, and bonding. They sacrificed much for them during their lives and didn't put career first. They loved and are loved. They won't rot in a nursing home because they created a bond that many can not understand.

I think many people are very selfish and if they are taught that while being raised, then so will it come back, simply because they are an "inconvenience".

[NHartphotog]

Originally Posted by Young Herman

People breed because it is something that comes natural to human beings, some people believe life has a grander meaning that just accumulating stuff and living for yourself. The bond you have with your children is greater then you'll ever have with someone you meet at the bar or on a two week vacation, those relationships are usually superficial. I never met an older woman who never had kids that was happy, most are miserable.

I beg to differ. Why is adding to the overpopulation problem your idea of serving a "grander" purpose? Do you not realize that with less population fighting over scarce resources, the entire human species would have a much higher quality of life?

I'm one of those older women who is 100% satisfied that I didn't live vicariously through kids, instead of living my own life. It is the opposite of selfish: I am free to worry about what is good for everyone in society, instead of my 2 or 3 "mini-me"s. I don't go to the School Board and demand more expensive fluff for my little deities, but rather am concern with how many elderly and unemployed persons we are forcing out of their houses due to obscene property taxes (which produce no increase in school performance).

I never saw the need to add to the (over)population, and I couldn't be more pleased with the way my life has gone. I don't dedicate my life to money; but can instead think about what's good for ALL of the next generation. I have freedom, early retirement despite economic collapse, and find my self much more happy then my peers who worry if their kids will EVER be self-sufficient (they won't).

Motherhood is not natural, it is a learned behavior (look up chimp studies). Many, many women should never have children because they're not tempermentally suited, I can tell you of several situations where the mother-daughter bond was an abusive and ugly thing--hardly the greatest bond either had.

The rest of women should ignore society's false claim that they can't be happy without reproducing. It's much easier to be happy without the inherent stress of childrearing, no matter what your economic class. Many studies were done that prove child-free women are just as happy at the end of their lives as their reproducing counterparts.

When you don't have kids you bond with your husband and the family you have. You don't "miss" anything. If you find an older woman that regrets not having children, I guarantee she'd have regretted it more if she had them. Some people won't be happy no matter what their situation.

As an added advantage, my husband and I will be the only ones with an estate that can help out our most deserving nieces and nephews when we pass on, something nobody in either of our families has had before.