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Just wondering, does anyone have a spouse or SO that has differing political views from yourself? If so, how do you deal with it?
Over the last 3 weeks I've been dating this guy who does not talk about politics a lot; but he felt the need to reaffirm is disappointment in Obama time and time again. The first few times, I spoke to him about how I did not agree with what he was saying; and then offered some intelligent reasons why. Ok, you would think that would be the end of it. But then he would find something else. Annoying!
From a personal perspective I have no problem whatsoever with dating or being romantically involved with someone whose political opinions differ from my own. However I would ask that the other person respect our differences, and we try to avoid the topic if possible. ESPECIALLY if it verges into the "I'm going to try to change your mind" or the "I think I'll belittle you a bit since I disagree with you."
I know of married couples where one is a Democrat and the other is a Republican. But in my experience (dating), it just seems to be a recipe for disaster!
I think if both people are more silent observers in politics then it can work out with no problems. But if both people are extremely passionate and/or involved in politics, it can create some problems. My first 2 wives were Democrats, and I am a Republican. Well, lets just say that those 2 marriages didnt last...lol
My current wife and I are both Republicans, very passionate about politics, and involved in politics, so, it has helped us grow stronger as a couple.
I know that many people will say that it doesnt matter if both are polar opposites when it comes to politics, but, many of times it is our beliefs in every day life that helps form our political beliefs.
Lets take for example the belief on abortion. One party may be against it fully and the other partner is a believer in that it should be the womans choice. If it is the woman that is pro-choice and she is thinking about getting an abortion, and her partner believes it is murder, it can be the fall of the relationship.
this may be an extreme example, but was just used to show how ones beliefs in subjects which usually determines which party they support, can create lots of turmoil.
Political beliefs, like sincere religious beliefs, reflect deeper values. I would never marry someone who had different values from my own. A shared outlook is pretty critical to compatibility. I was married once to someone who had differing values and it was a misery. Now I'm married to someone who shares my values, and we have a peaceful, loving, unified home. It doesn't mean we don't disagree on some things, only that we share a commonality on the critical things.
With regard to the guy you are dating, is he a Democrat who voted for Obama but happens to disagree with some things Obama has done in his presidency? That would seem like no biggie to me, and it shouldn't annoy you that he has different opinions from you. But if he is conservative or really does not find any redeeming quality in Obama, and you really like the President, then that spells incompatability and I'd walk away from the relationship while you still can. Besides all that, there is the issue of your communication styles. If you cannot have a conversation without becoming annoyed, then this is not the man for you.
I think if both people are more silent observers in politics then it can work out with no problems. But if both people are extremely passionate and/or involved in politics, it can create some problems. My first 2 wives were Democrats, and I am a Republican. Well, lets just say that those 2 marriages didnt last...lol
My current wife and I are both Republicans, very passionate about politics, and involved in politics, so, it has helped us grow stronger as a couple.
I know that many people will say that it doesnt matter if both are polar opposites when it comes to politics, but, many of times it is our beliefs in every day life that helps form our political beliefs.
Lets take for example the belief on abortion. One party may be against it fully and the other partner is a believer in that it should be the womans choice. If it is the woman that is pro-choice and she is thinking about getting an abortion, and her partner believes it is murder, it can be the fall of the relationship.
this may be an extreme example, but was just used to show how ones beliefs in subjects which usually determines which party they support, can create lots of turmoil.
Yeah but look at Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. Two people with different political allegiances...and active in them. But somehow they have made it.
With regard to the guy you are dating, is he a Democrat who voted for Obama but happens to disagree with some things Obama has done in his presidency? That would seem like no biggie to me, and it shouldn't annoy you that he has different opinions from you. But if he is conservative or really does not find any redeeming quality in Obama, and you really like the President, then that spells incompatability and I'd walk away from the relationship while you still can. Besides all that, there is the issue of your communication styles. If you cannot have a conversation without becoming annoyed, then this is not the man for you.
No he is a Democrat who can find no redeeming quality in Obama (although he did vote for him). It would be one thing if he would raise good objections. But he seems to regurgitate the exact same no-substance mud-slinging that the far right does. It's one thing to not see eye-to-eye. But to not see eye-to-eye and use ignorance as your tool. Well that's just very odd.
I would say that when it comes to partnership, it is not so much a difference in political ideology, but the stubbornness of an individual to acknowledge that a perspective different than their own just might have some worth. It's not about two lovers being on different political lines, but about two lovers mature and able enough to "argue" their different points, hear each other out and still respect and love one another at the end of the day.
If your lover thinks you are a douche for respecting a certain political candidate, imagine all the other things you are going to end up having beef about.
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
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I blame Obama for this.
Sounds like he likes to blame Obama, too. Of course, it's not all Obama's fault. But he has to have someone to blame....which begs the question, who's his next Obama gonna be?
****************** FREE DATING TIP*******************
Men never change. Unless something massively huge happens. SO, worst case scenario, he's going to be like this for the rest of his life. If you can accept it, it's no issue. If you can't, it can be a BIG issue.
I finally accepted my wife has control over the temperature in the house. It only took 5 years, too.
Yeah but look at Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. Two people with different political allegiances...and active in them. But somehow they have made it.
while yes they are both people with different allegiances, they both will lean the opposite direction on varying issues. Now if they both would lean extreme to their parties belief and value system, maybe things would be different.
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