Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i understand your concerns and i am actually quite happy that people still admit to not whole-heartedly embracing the issue. i don't think there is anything wrong with that, although i feel differently. its a far far cry from a blanket condemnation, so kudos.
i would ask you, however, to consider this- 40 or 50 or even less years ago, people would couch the very same argument in regards to interracial couples. being from the south it often came up in conversation and often people's arguments against it rested on society's view of it and how the children would be treated. personally i think that the ONLY way society will get over it is if the individual members of society get over it. what is society made of, except individuals? people evolve. society evolves because of it.
Well thank you for considering my reservations. I have nothing against gays having children or adopting them. But I will say my concerns would be the exact same if we were talking interracial couples 40-50 years ago.
Here's the thing, yes, sexual preference, gender, race makes no difference with providing a loving and supportive home for a child. However, even in 2010, we are dealing with racism. It's becoming more mainstream and accepted but it's still very rampid in parts of the country. You can't deny homosexuals are being subjected to similar abusive, sometimes deadly consequences of their chosen lifestyle.
We have come a long way as a society and we still have a long way to go but the reality is I don't think we will ever fully get there. There will always be something to overcome.
Quote:
and others have made the very good point on here that, as a child, didn't we all sort of "gross out" when mom and dad got affectionate? how many times did we all scream "EWWWWW!" when mom kissed dad on the lips, or even worse, heard them having a go in the other room? that's just kids. its a love-starved world. when people want to up the love quotient in the world, i say, do it. do it over and over again so we all get over these things. for some of us it might take more time but i hope that we can all meet somewhere in the middle.
LOL, I dont' subscribe to such nonsense thinking. I don't find it any more mentally offensive to think about gays being affectionate than my own mother talking about her "escapades"...(ok, I just threw up in my mouth a little). Children need to see affection between parents, it teaches them how to be loving, nurturing and caring for others as well. Not to mention the safe feeling they have from knowing their parents are there, happy and life is wonderful.
Am I against it or for it? In all honesty, I don't know!
How do children handle it if they see their gay parents showing affection around them. A hug, a kiss, snuggle up on the couch......the type of affection that a man/woman parents could/would do around their children. In a man/woman parental situation, kids come into the bedroom and wake their parents up on Christmas morning. Do kids of gay parents do this? If kids are babies, they don't have a say on who they live with. What do older (pre-teen to teen) kids think of their gay parents sleeping together? How do the kids classmates treat them when they find out that the parents are gay? Just how does a kid introduce their gay parents to a friend?
Question would be......do gay parents have to act differently around their kids than man/woman parents?
I'm friends with a lesbian couple who has a 9 year old girl. The girl is from a teen pregnancy from one one of the lesbians and the couple met when the daughter was 3. I was wondering about some of the questions you had. I even asked the little girl how the kids at school treated her. It was like a non issue to her. She is popular, outgoing and gets good grades. The parents are about the most old fashioned parents you could find, except they are lesbian. There is no verbal abuse, alcohol use or TV in their home. I think your questions are coming from growing up in a different time or just not being familiar with gays.
I've known a gay male couple that has adopted three children, a gay female couple that has adopted a daughter, and a single gay woman that has adopted a daughter.
All of them are very involved with their kids' lives. The gay male couple more than the others seem to live the Leave-it-to-Beaver existance, with one of thems staying home being a typical 1950's housefrau while his partner goes to work. Their daughter is, stereotypically, the best dressed little girl you ever saw. The women are all working moms.
There's a long waiting list for perfect, white newborns. There are thousands of children living under state care who are not white and not perfect, left there by their straight parents. It's pretty bizarre to think that hetero's should have their first pick at the perfect white newborns, and perhaps the gays can have those with health problems, darker shades, etc. Sadly, that's often the argument.
.
Good point. The gay guys I knew adopted their first son after they'd had him a while in their foster care since infancy. He was born addicted to drugs and they went through his withdrawals. He was also born HIV positive, but no longer tests positive (this sometimes happens with infants of HIV mothers.) The boy has some learning disabilities.
Their two daughters are biological half-sisters with the same crackhead mother. They also first came to them as foster kids and are both healthy.
They aren't kids that most other adoptive parents would have jumped at the chance to take in.
On the other hand, my (hetero) sister and her husband specifically asked for a bi-racial baby because that's what they would have had if they could have had one biologically. Whole adoption process took nine months, too! But when my sister first called the state agency, the woman at the other end automatically said, "There is approximately a seven-year wait for a white infant..." at which point my sister cut her off and said that's not what she was looking for.
I'm not too sure abou this. I've posted my concern on another thread at some point, which is basically that growing up, at least for males, a common insult is how "that's gay" "you're a ***" etc. I'd just hate to see what other male kids would have to say when they find out the kid they are picking on legitimately has gay parents.
Couple that up with the fact that a lot of adopted kids seem to have problems accepting the fact that they were adopted to begin with, and have an initial reaction that they were unwanted.
After those years that kids go through those phases and move to adulthood and being independent, I think gay parents wouldn't be much of a concern.
I don't find it any more mentally offensive to think about gays being affectionate than my own mother talking about her "escapades"...(ok, I just threw up in my mouth a little). .
no, unless you try and use your own personal preference as a platform for denying other people their right to love who they choose as long as they are of legal age to do so, nor denying other loving healthy people the right to be parents. and if you dont like it, stop staring. if you are repelled that is your right. i don't like most pop music. but i wouldn't suggest denying other people their right to enjoy it!
You're making an assumption. I would never stare...no matter what the combination. But I certainly don't walk around blindfolded...nor do most people.
Good point. The gay guys I knew adopted their first son after they'd had him a while in their foster care since infancy. He was born addicted to drugs and they went through his withdrawals. He was also born HIV positive, but no longer tests positive (this sometimes happens with infants of HIV mothers.) The boy has some learning disabilities.
Their two daughters are biological half-sisters with the same crackhead mother. They also first came to them as foster kids and are both healthy.
They aren't kids that most other adoptive parents would have jumped at the chance to take in.
On the other hand, my (hetero) sister and her husband specifically asked for a bi-racial baby because that's what they would have had if they could have had one biologically. Whole adoption process took nine months, too! But when my sister first called the state agency, the woman at the other end automatically said, "There is approximately a seven-year wait for a white infant..." at which point my sister cut her off and said that's not what she was looking for.
That's so sad the woman automatically stated the 7-year wait for a white baby. Really? Next time someone tries to convince me racism doesn't exist, I'm just going to tell them to call the state adoption agency.
That's so sad the woman automatically stated the 7-year wait for a white baby. Really? Next time someone tries to convince me racism doesn't exist, I'm just going to tell them to call the state adoption agency.
I don't think it's racism, at least not totally. A couple who really wants a baby is more likely to want it to seem more like theirs and white people are going to be more likely to have the money to adopt and more likely to have the money so they do not have to give their baby up for adoption. So there will be less white babies up for adoption for the white parents who want them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Children need to see affection between parents, it teaches them how to be loving, nurturing and caring for others as well. Not to mention the safe feeling they have from knowing their parents are there, happy and life is wonderful.
Sadly, that's often the argument. 
