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So there was a video that came out yesterday about a teenager getting whoopped by his uncle for acting like a thug on Facebook. I feel a little embarrassed for the teen but I think his uncle did the right thing and, eventhough Im not a parent, I think it should be used in some occasions (not all of em tho)
So what do you think? Do you consider whipping children as discipline or child-abuse?
Quite simply, yes. I don't want to tell parents how to discipline their children, but there's a definite line between a light smack/spank & beating your child with a belt (or any "tool"). My parents don't believe in violence or physical punishment, so they never even spanked us... somehow we all managed to grow up fine, and turned into successful & productive adults. AND we respect our parents but don't fear them, unlike people who are raised with the constant threat of being hit. Do I think a parent should be arrested for smacking their child? No. But I do think a whipping/beating deserves criminal investigation, at the least.
Do you consider whipping children as discipline or child-abuse?
Actually I consider it to be neither. I consider it to be a failing on the part of the parent or guardian to do their “job” correctly.
In my view people turn to violence when their ability to achieve they ends another way fail. If you can not teach a child without resorting to violence to do so then in my eyes you simply have failed.
I see no difference between violence in real life and… say… people on forums who realise they are not intelligent enough to make an argument and so start making personal comments and insults at the person they are talking to instead. When someone starts getting personal or insulting I simply see that as they saying “Your argument is too good for me, I am not strong enough to answer it, but rather than admit that I am INSTEAD going to make MYSELF feel clever by saying this….”
Turning to violence when you have failed to achieve your desired result to me is the same. It is the person saying “I have no idea how to resolve this situation, but kicking 7 shades out of you will make me feel good about myself and maybe, just maybe, will make you scared enough to act like I want you to in the end anyway” or worse they are saying "I do have an idea how to resolve this situation but I do not want to put the time and effort into it so I will take this short cut solution instead and beat it into you".
Violence, more often than not, is simply the result of communications breaking down.
Oops, I misread the thread title... what I meant was that yes, I consider it abusive (how abusive depends on the severity).
Btw, I just watched the video, and found it very uncomfortable to see. I don't necessarily think the Uncle went overboard, since it wasn't like a severe beating or anything... but I felt really bad for the kid, and it's definitely not something I'd ever do to my child (or let his/her father do).
As a child I was not whipped or beaten regularly by any means, but there were a few choice times when I got it but good. And you know what? I NEVER but NEVER did that thing again, whatever it was I got hit for. Once was venturing off into a bad part of the neighborhood at age 7 or so, once was making fun of someone. These are the two big ones I can recall, and boy did it make an impact, like 'don't you EVER do that again.' I knew it was a big deal since I never got hit. I really believe it is useful but only used very sparingly and only with a big deal. Same with screaming at a kid. I am a teacher and the kids know when I start screaming at them it is a VERY big deal, because I rarely do it.
Whipping to me is a form of abuse. I am sure I have upset many people in my life and had they whipped me for it I would certainly have been able to take them to court for assault....
I don't think corporal punishment is acceptable ( I would exclude a gentle smack on the fleshy part of the bum as a very rare exception. I think smacking is completely pointless but I don't think it harms children as long as you tell them why and only use it as a last resort).
Hitting people as a form of discipline to me is completely useless and rather counter-intuitive. All it does in my opinion is either breed resentment and more anger or humiliates and demeans which is also the sure way to ensure even more trouble ahead.
I was brought up by a very strict Father who never once hit me ( or smacked me for that matter). A sense of right and wrong was instilled into me from a very early age and I was always assumed to have known exactly what I had done wrong and made to think upon my misdeeds. I think it is far more important to teach kids from an early age that "No" means "No" not maybe. And to follow up with punishment such as grounding, withdrawals of privileges etc... it is about consistency.
Whipping someone or beating them is the way to a more angry human being who is more likely to go out and repeat that cycle of abuse. I see it as completely unproductive.
I also think respect goes both ways and you can't expect someone ( kid or adult) to respect them if your answer to everything is to beat the crap out of them.
I know that for me using the stick would be utterly pointless. I do not respond to the stick but to the carrot so to speak.
Discipline and respect for others has to be instilled from a very early age. A Toddler knows the difference between right and wrong. Hitting them might make them scared of you but fear and respect are two different things.
Whipping a teenager IMO would only make him so enraged and humiliated that the resentment he/she will harbour is bound to come out at some point in potentially violent outburts defeating the object of the exercise.
At the end of the day violence does breed violence and though I am certainly not a pacifist I think we have to re-evalue our standards when we think it is a good and desirable thing to whip someone .
When we resort to violence we basically accept and declare that we have lost the argument in a way and ran out of options, we are admitting defeat. It is about making us feel better rather than truly solving anything. It is to me a sign of great weakness rather than one of power.
I know that had anyone , family or not humiliated me and beaten me I would have never, ever forgiven them , especially as a teenager. Revenge and rage would have been on my mind, not thinking about my actions and trying to become a better person.
Discipline can be acchieved without corporal punishment, but it must be a well thought out and consistent policy. I do believe in punishment but find the idea of whipping someone abhorrent and completely barbaric.
There is a wide range btwn whipping with a belt and spanking . My mother was raised with the generation that you spank and spank and spank . She never used a belt but she did put her hand more than I care to remember on me and my sibs . But if your kid is acting like a thug at the teen years then the parents have not done their job correctly . You dont start correcting kids behavior in the teen years you start when they are toddlers . But as another poster said I learned what not to do because of being spanked . Kids do understand that if I do this behavior Im going to get spanked so maybe I had better not do it .
There is something else what have to do than physical actions. I cannot see how mocking/other verbal abusing or beating/ other phycical abusing can create any positive results. My sister got lot of physical punishments and she have lot of troubles to leave them behind. I was so shy kid that I did nothing but sometimes I took blame for myself for what my sister was done.
And only threatening violence can have terrible consequences. My causins parents told him he get beated by them if he brokes his arm at some new hobby. Well he did and he kept broken arm 2 days because he fear too much to told for his parents.
If you beat the child you hate the child...
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I don't necessarily think the Uncle went overboard, since it wasn't like a severe beating or anything... but I felt really bad for the kid, and it's definitely not something I'd ever do to my child (or let his/her father do).
