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And I have to wonder who was the lonely voter that voted no on the poll?
This guy:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lakeman0
he did what was best for the kids. It was logical, people get all emotional when things like this come up. It was unfortunate but if he had stayed with her they would be swimming in debt and welfare ain't gonna cut it. Better to be in a stable single parent home than an unstable two parent home
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayland Woman
He cut the mother out of their children's lives for selfish reasons, because it was easier that way for him that way.
To me, as a Jew (though not Orthodox, myself), I find his behavior particularly reprehensible. He's supposedly in one of the strictest sects of the Jewish faith; Orthodox. He should damn well know the Mishnah and its teachings.
Quote:
The Mishnah makes clear, however, that rote recital of prayers for repentance without any sincere repentance of the heart, is meaningless:
One who says: I will sin and repent, then I will sin again and repent again, is not really repentance. And one who says: I will sin, and the Day of Atonement will atone for me, will find that the day will not avail for atonement.
For transgressions against God, the Day of Atonement atones; but for transgressions of one human being against another, the Day of Atonement does not atone until they have made peace with one another.
The passage above illustrates an interesting difference between Judaism and some other religious traditions. For Jews, every sin against another human being is also a sin against God, who promulgates laws of kindness, honesty, and decency. If I have hurt you, I have hurt God, as well. However, I cannot come first to God to seek forgiveness. I must first approach the person whom I have wronged and ask for forgiveness. Indeed, I must ask for forgiveness -- sincerely -- on three occasions, if necessary. Only once I have reconciled with the one whom I have wronged (or made three honest attempts at reconciliation) may I approach God and seek forgiveness. In other words, God doesn't want to talk to me about the sin until I have made every effort to correct my relationship with the person I have wronged.
He has wronged both his wife and his children. Not only has he violated the vows he swore before G-d when he signed his marriage Ketubah;
He has been dishonest with his children about their own mother's existence.
He has been indecent to his wife by abandoning her into the care of her parents.
He has been unkind to his in-laws in forcing them into court in order that his children be allowed time with their own mother.
He has therefore been dishonest, indecent and unkind to G-d.
And yet he pretends to continue to be a devout Jew. As a Jew, I find that sickeningly offensive.
Read the article in post #235. The father did have a girlfriend in his life by the triplet's first birth----no maybe about it---and he was engaged briefly. That's when he took all the photos of his wife out of the house, quit visiting his her at the nursing home, and made an announcement that he wanted to move on with his life. I can understand his emotions in making that decision BUT be honest here. He cut the mother out of their children's lives for selfish reasons, because it was easier that way for him that way.
IMHO, he was wrong to do that BUT, people will react differently in any given situation. Can't know all the particulars unless you're on the scene.
Exactly where did you get the idea that the judge ordered that the pictures should be displayed outside of the kid's rooms? What he said was they had to be in a room that was assessable to the children 24/7 meaning he couldn't put them in the attic or a closet and lock the door.
Quote:
Shaller ordered Dan to set up a shelf or table that is "open and available to the children 24 hours a day, 7 days per week in his home devoted to the children's mother" and to place photographs and other mementoes of her on it.
Open and available..in their rooms. Any other mandate from the judge is out of line, IMO.
I don't want to judge the guy because I feel so bad for them all after reading that article. Sadly you just don't know what the one who swear your life to will do if anything happens to you. To be engaged a year afterwards...? Even in my deepest imagination I could not invent such a tragic thing. The most tragic is if the mother is/feels trapped in her own body. Concious but unable to relate that to anybody. That to me would be worse than death, to see and know your husband and children had gone...
I don't want to judge the guy because I feel so bad for them all after reading that article. Sadly you just don't know what the one who swear your life to will do if anything happens to you. To be engaged a year afterwards...? Even in my deepest imagination I could not invent such a tragic thing. The most tragic is if the mother is/feels trapped in her own body. Concious but unable to relate that to anybody. That to me would be worse than death, to see and know your husband and children had gone...
To be engaged a year afterwards, yes, a year in which he was supposedly busy caring for triplet infants. This is shocking. He had time to attract and court a woman, while being a single father to not one, but three, infants. What a scum!
Originally Posted by Wayland Woman Read the article in post #235. The father did have a girlfriend in his life by the triplet's first birth----no maybe about it---and he was engaged briefly. That's when he took all the photos of his wife out of the house, quit visiting his her at the nursing home, and made an announcement that he wanted to move on with his life. I can understand his emotions in making that decision BUT be honest here.He cut the mother out of their children's lives for selfish reasons, because it was easier that way for him that way.
IMHO, he was wrong to do that BUT, people will react differently in any given situation. Can't know all the particulars unless you're on the scene.
Exactly where did you get the idea that the judge ordered that the pictures should be displayed outside of the kid's rooms? What he said was they had to be in a room that was assessable to the children 24/7 meaning he couldn't put them in the attic or a closet and lock the door.
Open and available..in their rooms. Any other mandate from the judge is out of line, IMO.
I would appreciate it if when you quote my posts that you quit adding sentences in that I didn't write like you did with the bolded words above. You've been on this site long enough to know the proper way to response to and quote posts.
To me, as a Jew (though not Orthodox, myself), I find his behavior particularly reprehensible. He's supposedly in one of the strictest sects of the Jewish faith; Orthodox. He should damn well know the Mishnah and its teachings.
He has wronged both his wife and his children. Not only has he violated the vows he swore before G-d when he signed his marriage Ketubah;
He has been dishonest with his children about their own mother's existence.
He has been indecent to his wife by abandoning her into the care of her parents.
He has been unkind to his in-laws in forcing them into court in order that his children be allowed time with their own mother.
He has therefore been dishonest, indecent and unkind to G-d.
And yet he pretends to continue to be a devout Jew. As a Jew, I find that sickeningly offensive.
plus he is angry because he has to pay for the attorney he uses.
To be engaged a year afterwards, yes, a year in which he was supposedly busy caring for triplet infants. This is shocking. He had time to attract and court a woman, while being a single father to not one, but three, infants. What a scum!
I don't know why any one would like to marry him after what he has done either.
To be engaged a year afterwards, yes, a year in which he was supposedly busy caring for triplet infants. This is shocking. He had time to attract and court a woman, while being a single father to not one, but three, infants. What a scum!
I would appreciate it if when you quote my posts that you quit adding sentences in that I didn't write like you did with the bolded words above. You've been on this site long enough to know the proper way to response to and quote posts.
That's why I bolded my words.
This is done routinely on the forum, but I'll try my best to remember your wishes.
all children grow up with "baggage" if that was an issue when a judge issues visitation rights than the mean abusive, drunk parents that see their kids every other week should also not be allowed visitation.
Equally true of parents in prison. The exalted purpose of law does not intend to punish children for the sins of their father even though historically judges/ social norms have fallen into that compulsion for personal agenda/ political reasons. It cannot help but be a package deal when parents conduct themselves recklessly, or worse, use their own children as a human shield to justify every insane thing they do. I've seen both genders, of every creed and race, equally guilty of that invisible crime against progeny. We're compelled to mitigate these circumstances to preserve/ facilitate the tablespoon of good they do have to offer their children which has the strongest potential to reform the adult into meaningfully embracing adulthood. I'm not suggesting we use children as physical carrot and stick, but instead, to serve as a constant reminder what a worthy investment of energy looks like.
There's good reason to specify supervised visits. Adult sicknesses should not be permitted to be inflicted upon the child, but at the same time, to ignore all measures (no matter how meager) of support or love they can offer is a profound disservice to the child. Punishing a parent for attempting to step up to responsibility is wrong headed. Even for those who cannot be reformed, parents do serve as examples. Ideally they serve as examples of what to be and practical instructions how to cope with life. Sometimes the only useful utility a grossly maladjusted parent has is proof of what you should never allow yourself to become. Sad fact of life, but it's the pragmatic purpose of teenage rebellious years (that everyone dislikes, yet it's for our own collective good) to reject diseased thinking of their parents/ community when it's proven to be diseased/ dysfunctional. Wise adults and teachers learn from children symbiotically while engaged in teaching/ rearing children.
Children kept ignorant of darkness or what not to be isn't a service to them. Children stumbling around witnessing the dark side of life before they're intellectually/ emotionally capable of processing it isn't something people should shove under a rug. Quite the opposite. It needs extra time and attention focused upon it to help the child cope with reality & discern 'normal' from 'abnormal' behavior. To do otherwise is encouraging denial to hobble them and abnormal behavior to fester unabated trapped pinging around in their minds. There is a steep price paid by the child when parents silence children wrongfully.
When a human being has a hole in them our compassionate instinct is to protect/ heal them by reaching for crazy glue to close the hole. Medical science and folklore medicine understands a counterintuitive intelligence behind debridement of wounds and allowing for drainage of normal immune system function. Attending wounds/ 'disinformation' to the human psyche/ spirit/ intellect is not so different from the disciplines of physical/ biological science. Humans are naturally averse to pain, but there are times when their aversion/ avoidance of pain only serves to perpetuate & amplify the pain. The root causes and dynamics of addiction is prime example. Avoiding the immunization from measles, avoiding the surgery to remove a tumor, has consequences far worse than the temporary pain they have to face. Intellectually/ emotionally avoiding reality enslaves individuals to that reality forever. Avoiding intellectual challenge enslaves individuals to ignorance.
If we had a cultural/ religious tradition of banging our heads on a wall 5 times daily and institutionalize it's enforcement because 'daddy did it, and his daddy always did it', that cultural/religious/ legal system renders itself mind candy no longer in service to the greater good. When the fruits of that civilization yield a billion skull fractures, it's headed for extinction. Denying the validity of womankind's voice, and the voices of children, has inevitable consequences for civilization which is a whole other thread.
There's a vast difference between people who willfully ignore their own issues vs a disability that doesn't inflict itself on the wellbeing of children. Those who choose to home school are willing to account for the shortcomings of that arrangement and go to pains to establish opportunities to develop socialization skills with play dates and extra curricular activities. A deaf parent will go to pains to assist their hearing child's linguistic skills by seeking outside assistance from those living in the hearing world. This is the nature of responsible parenting & the benefit of a pool of community resources serving the greater good of all. Using arguments of another extreme that all parents are obliged to be perfect in every way at all times is an irrational expectation of this brand of civilization we're living out. When it makes itself incompatible with human beings, it's the civilization obliged to adjust, not human beings obliged to adjust to dysfunctional/ self destructive behavior.
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