Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Deprival of benefits works pretty good for me. I put her toys in "jail." Fluffy Bunny stays in solitary until you apologize to mommy...
I tried that once. Every time my boys did not pick up their toys after I told them to, or left them in the yard, I put the toys into a box in the closet. My plan was for the boys to suddenly discover that their favorite toy was missing, and perform a frantic search, and plead with mom & dad to help find their precious toys, Then, I'd break out the hidden box of toys, and give them a life's lessons speech about putting away toys so they are not stolen from the yard, stepped on and broken by dad in the middle of the night, or chewed on by the dog.
Sadly, I think three months or more went by w/o a peep or a whimper. I must have had 3/4 of their toys in that box, and never once did i hear them complain about not being able to find their toys. I got so discussed, that I finally just plopped the box down on the floor, in the middle of the the boys as they were playing. Oh, they were thrilled to get their toys back, but my life's lesson speech had a hell of a lot less impact then I envisioned.
There are tons more if you just type "spanking and violence" into Google.
Yes, read the article. It's simple correlation. People make that mistake all the time. They think correlation is the same as causation. It's not.
Correlation simply says that kids who were spanked commit more murders. But it ignores the probability that the causation is exactly the reverse.
Violent kids get more spankings because they are violent, not the other way around.
In fact, your own link says so "Spanking does teach a lesson, but study after study in the past 40 years provides evidence suggesting, but not proving, that children also learn violence and ...."... "suggesting", meaning there is correlation, but no proof of causation.
But if you are predisposed to be anti-spanking, you will see causation in places where it just does not exist.
I can assure you that my children never learned violence from their spankings, and I'm sure that's true for millions and millions of families.
wow really? this is why these type of conversations are usually unproductive because of comments like this. I'm well aware of what abuse is and I have never been subject to it and would never do it to my child.
No kidding.
Some parents abuse their kids as an excuse for punishment, whether or not they use mental abuse or physical abuse, both are wrong. for people to claim that only physical abuse is "abuse" is sophomoric.
How the hell spanking my kids a handful of times before the age of 5, equates to abuse, i have no clue. I have seen parents, who did not spank, instead, they verbally abused, belittled, disrespected and ridiculed their children in public.
My kids did not need spankings after 5 or 6 years old and were very well mannered and well adjusted children and adults. Compare that to the many in the "I don't spank" crowd who have unruly kids well into puberty.
There needs to be a different punishment for the top tier of improper conduct. when a child is cuaght running into a busy street, caught playing with matches, or tosses a kitten down the stairs, you cannot give them the same "time out" that they get for sassing back to mom, or not cleaning their room.
So, for a 3-8 year old child, what is the top tier punishment for the "I never spank" crowd?
By top tier, I'm referring to that singular punishment that is so severe, that your child is likely to only receive it a handful of times. As far as I could tell, from witnessing the parenting by the "I never spank" parents,the top tier punishment is limited to the following:
"Jimmy!! You know you're not supposed to do that! Now go to your room and think about what you just did." Then jimmy storms off to his room, sassing back to his parents in disrespectful display, followed by slamming his bedroom door shut.
In my experience, a child that was spanked for bad behavior straightens out immediately. While the time out kids come back from their time out, still angry, still disrespectful and still very combative.
Yes, read the article. It's simple correlation. People make that mistake all the time. They think correlation is the same as causation. It's not.
Correlation simply says that kids who were spanked commit more murders. But it ignores the probability that the causation is exactly the reverse.
Violent kids get more spankings because they are violent, not the other way around.
In fact, your own link says so "Spanking does teach a lesson, but study after study in the past 40 years provides evidence suggesting, but not proving, that children also learn violence and ...."... "suggesting", meaning there is correlation, but no proof of causation.
But if you are predisposed to be anti-spanking, you will see causation in places where it just does not exist.
I can assure you that my children never learned violence from their spankings, and I'm sure that's true for millions and millions of families.
If you give out spankings for every single thing a kid does wrong, then they will not learn, its the same thing for giving kids 15 time outs a day. In either case, excessive abuse doesn't teach them anything.
As you pointed out, some people are just plain evil, and/or violent, and would be so no matter how they were raised.
There's certainly a difference between a mouthy 16 year old who won't tell you where he's been when he comes home 3 hours after cerfew and a 4 year old who won't listen to you and put his toys away. Giving the 16 year old a bit of a pop doesn't bother me too much. Hitting/spanking (whatever) a 4 year old though is highly inappropriate.
Hitting a small child certainly might be effective in correcting misbehavior. However, it's a horrible thing to do to a child. A really small child doesn't fully understand it - they just interpret it as "mommy doesn't love me and is hitting me so I better as hell stop so she'll love me again." It controls them through fear. The child learns that violence and hitting is an acceptable way to deal with others (it's been shown that young children who are spanked are much more likely to be bullies).
Spanking a child might be effective at quickly correcting misbehavior - but it's destructive in the long run. It a sign of lazy, weak, and selfish parenting.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Seriously? I love my parents to death and vice versa. I wish they would have spanked me more so I was little more self disciplined today. Same for my brother, wife, friends, etc.
A parent who refuses to spank their child is the lazy, weak, and selfish parent.
Yeah, what's not taken into account is that a parent who will not spank their child CERTAINLY will not physically abuse their child. This is basic logic.
So the spankers, by proxy, included all of the folks who go past healthy spanking, which in turn produces worthless data.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I must have had 3/4 of their toys in that box, and never once did i hear them complain about not being able to find their toys. I got so discussed, that I finally just plopped the box down on the floor, in the middle of the the boys as they were playing. Oh, they were thrilled to get their toys back, but my life's lesson speech had a hell of a lot less impact then I envisioned. 
