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Hammer- I respect your opinion. But I don't consider tapping your kids hindside as a corrective action as a level of violence.
However, it is unfortunate that there are some parents who strike/hit their children as a form of abuse...this is a case of the Parent needing a severe *** whipping and their arms snapped off to protect the youngin'.
There's certainly a difference between a mouthy 16 year old who won't tell you where he's been when he comes home 3 hours after cerfew and a 4 year old who won't listen to you and put his toys away. Giving the 16 year old a bit of a pop doesn't bother me too much. Hitting/spanking (whatever) a 4 year old though is highly inappropriate.
Hitting a small child certainly might be effective in correcting misbehavior. However, it's a horrible thing to do to a child. A really small child doesn't fully understand it - they just interpret it as "mommy doesn't love me and is hitting me so I better as hell stop so she'll love me again." It controls them through fear. The child learns that violence and hitting is an acceptable way to deal with others (it's been shown that young children who are spanked are much more likely to be bullies).
Spanking a child might be effective at quickly correcting misbehavior - but it's destructive in the long run. It a sign of lazy, weak, and selfish parenting.
There's certainly a difference between a mouthy 16 year old who won't tell you where he's been when he comes home 3 hours after cerfew and a 4 year old who won't listen to you and put his toys away. Giving the 16 year old a bit of a pop doesn't bother me too much. Hitting/spanking (whatever) a 4 year old though is highly inappropriate.
Hitting a small child certainly might be effective in correcting misbehavior. However, it's a horrible thing to do to a child. A really small child doesn't fully understand it - they just interpret it as "mommy doesn't love me and is hitting me so I better as hell stop." It controls them through fear. The child learns that violence and hitting is an acceptable way to deal with others (it's been shown that young children who are spanked are much more likely to be bullies).
Spanking a child might be effective at quickly correcting misbehavior - but it's destructive in the long run. It a sign of lazy, weak, and selfish parenting.
Hmmmm. Interesting. One of my earliest memories of discipline from my Dad was when slapped my hindside for failing to clean my room after my Mother asked me twice...I was about 5 or 6.
I never did it again.
I love my Dad to the core. Lazy? Nope. Weak? Nope. Selfish? Hardly. May he rest in peace.
Hmmmm. Interesting. One of my earliest memories of discipline from my Dad was when slapped my hindside for failing to clean my room after my Mother asked me twice...I was about 5 or 6.
I never did it again.
I love my Dad to the core. Lazy? Nope. Weak? Nope. Selfish? Hardly. May he rest in peace.
Sorry, but I don't buy it.
I was spanked too (something my parents now regret and say if they had a do over would remove from their parenting arsenal). I didn't say every kid who is spanked will be emotionally scared and violent. Study after study shows that it greatly raises the odds though.
A really small child doesn't fully understand it - they just interpret it as "mommy doesn't love me and is hitting me so I better as hell stop so she'll love me again." It controls them through fear. The child learns that violence and hitting is an acceptable way to deal with others (it's been shown that young children who are spanked are much more likely to be bullies).
WOW, I'm sure you can provide a link that shows this, since you are quoting something...Also, does the parent explain why they were spanked....not hit, but spanked....
Quote:
Originally Posted by hammertime33
Spanking a child might be effective at quickly correcting misbehavior - but it's destructive in the long run. It a sign of lazy, weak, and selfish parenting.
Yea, that's why the children of today are so good and such little darlings........
I was smaacked on the bottom maybe 3 or 4 times as a small child... afterwards the threat of being smacked was more than enough to stop me in my tracks !! It was always as a last resort and all the threats of no dessert / sweets / being allowed to play at so and sos house etc didn't work...
Admittedly I was a horrid child and remember having fits of stamping my feet and squealing to get what I wanted..... I'm amazed I wasn't severely beaten.....
I believe too many of the problems facing todays children, is that they have Parents who don't believe in parenting, or discipline in any way. The Parents want to be their child's friend, and that does become a problem.
I don't see anything wrong with a child being disiplined as long as a spank is warranted, right then and there. And explaining to the child their behavior caused the spank. The problem is today i know that there are some parents afraid to discipline their children or to spank them, when you have children, threatening that they will call on the parents.
They say hitting a child soft, or hard, does not work, but you know i am not sure about that saying, cause i know many children who were hit by their parents, and never ever again did what they got in trouble for.
I've seen first hand too many of todays kids so out of control, and they lack any respect at all.
I believe there is a difference between a discipline spank, and all out physical abuse.
seriously? you can't figure out a better way to discipline than hitting a kid?
Oh, I do...but I want to hear what you do.....
Do you take the kids games away, what about the snacks....what about TV....what about grounding, what about going to be early....
I want to hear what you do, do you sit the child down and say...now you know that you were not supposed to do that...now next time, breath and meditate before you do that...
seriously? you can't figure out a better way to discipline than hitting a kid?
I good warning, that they are fixing to get their ass tore up with the belt, usually works.
If it doesn't the belt does work. I guarantee they won't do it ever again. They won't even test you on it.
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