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1. I'll vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
2. I'll vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
3. I'll vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
4. I'll vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
5. I'll vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
6. I'll vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
7. I'll vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
8. I'll vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days
9. I'll vote Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us , but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.
10. I'll vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
I won't vote Republican because everything they do is a retread (including this thread).
1. I'll vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
2. I'll vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
3. I'll vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
4. I'll vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
5. I'll vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
6. I'll vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
7. I'll vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
8. I'll vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days
9. I'll vote Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us , but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.
10. I'll vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
It's a slam dunk, how could I not seen the light - oops, its a locmoti........
Where exactly did you find any claim of authorship?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnUnidentifiedMale
Well, since it's apparently okay to copy and paste from other websites and pretend that I wrote it myself, here's my response:
1. I voted Republican because you can blame problems on poor people instead of the rich ones who actually run things.
2. I voted Republican because firefighters and teachers are scum-sucking leaches, but the oil companies raking in record profits NEED those hundreds of millions in taxpayer subsidies.
3. I voted Republican because I believe companies like my cable TV provider, insurance company and credit card company could do a better job running the country than the government, no matter how much they screw me over.
4. I voted Republican because I don’t trust the government, although I favored the government spying on my health/financial records and tapping my phone when Bush was in office to keep us safe from ‘trrists.
5. I voted Republican because I don't really care whether terrorists, murderers and drug dealers own guns or not.
6. I voted Republican because I believe climate change doesn't exist; if I can't see it with my own two eyes, it doesn't exist. Like gravity.
7. I voted Republican because I hate women having abortions, but once the baby is born and dies from a preventable illness that’ okay.
8. I voted Republican because I believe in laying off workers to boost profits; then I get to complain about lazy unemployed people.
9. I voted Republican because I understand capitalism. Demand doesn’t increase jobs…ensuring corporations pay no taxes and cutting healthcare and education does.
10. I voted Republican because I care about the deficit and support cutting services that I really need. But extra tax cuts for the superrich that actually caused the deficit should be extended indefinitely.
11. I voted Republican because I believe in never having to solve any problems in the government because I insist government is the problem anyway.
12. I voted Republican because I hate activist judges, unless they are conservative (Yes, corporations should get to spend unlimited money in elections).
13. I voted Republican because spite and fear is better than hope and change.
1. I'll vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
2. I'll vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
3. I'll vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
4. I'll vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
5. I'll vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
6. I'll vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
7. I'll vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
8. I'll vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days
9. I'll vote Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us , but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.
10. I'll vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
The trouble is many people will think the OP is true rather than humorous. It's chock full of distortions and outright lies but that doesn't stop the right wingers and Republicans from believing in it with all their Christian heart. I'll vote D with reluctance. I'll vote R only if someone chops off my hand and places it on the ballot themselves.
As compelling as all there reasons are, I think I'm going to vote Republican this year, because I want to pay more taxes so a billionare can get a tax cut. I also support costly, unnecessary wars of choice. I'm also too dumb to decide right and wrong for myself, so I need the government to tell me what substances I can ingest and who I can marry. Sorry Democrats. The Republicans have my vote this year. Maybe next time.
I will vote democrat for the free food stamps and welfare and live off the hard working peoples taxes . I will ask for more , like free schooling, and free housing and free health care so I can sit on my lazy butt playing video games and being a couch potato.
I will vote democrat for the free food stamps and welfare and live off the hard working peoples taxes . I will ask for more , like free schooling, and free housing and free health care so I can sit on my lazy butt playing video games and being a couch potato.
Why do that when you can vote Republican and volunteer to tax yourself so the hard working billionares can get some more tax breaks at your expense?
The trouble is many people will think the OP is true rather than humorous. It's chock full of distortions and outright lies but that doesn't stop the right wingers and Republicans from believing in it with all their Christian heart. I'll vote D with reluctance. I'll vote R only if someone chops off my hand and places it on the ballot themselves.
Awwwwwww
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