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I think I would take my chances of "openly hostile" to my chances of surviving in the inner city full of gangs, thugs and drug dealers.
I did and have.......but some would rather be in familiar circumstances, no matter how dangerous. Some want to be near family to protect/help them, etc.
After seeing what goes on in the inner city ghettos, can you blame them?
Not every African American is from the ghetto or is a criminal. That would be like me claiming that most of rural America is teeming with murderous skinhead Nazi Klan members.
I think I would take my chances of "openly hostile" to my chances of surviving in the inner city full of gangs, thugs and drug dealers.
I'm black, and I just moved away from rural Ohio. I am married and I have 2 school aged children.
My husband and I both grew up in primarily black middle/working class NYC environment. Our parents had jobs and provided a stable place to live. Nobody was in jail. We ate a warm meal every night. This was true of most of our friends, our neighbors, our families. Then we both went to college and met more black people who grew up like us. We go to family reunions every year and see more of the same. We have adult friends just like us, etc. We are not abnormal, the majority of black people live like we do.
I said all that to say that we could deal with the attitudes of people in rural/small town Ohio because we knew our reality had little to do with the visions in their heads. Even the ones who consider themselves not racist truly believed certain things. But it was okay because I lived the truth, so whatever. Plus we could pick and choose who we were surrounded with outside of work.
But my children are too young to know any better. While we were there, my daughter was told that her hair looked like snakes by other kids in the class (it was braided). One kid refused to touch her hair because it looked "ugly and hard". When they played pretend in class the other kids told her she couldn't be Belle (her favorite Disney Princess) because she was "black and besides, Belle likes to read so you can't be her" (My daughter is an avid reader and was always one of the smartest in class). My son thought every adult black male that he didn't already know was scary. My friends' (dad is a college professor in the sciences, mom is computer programmer) youngest son, who is quite bright just like his parents, came home and told them "I wish I was white so I could be smart". Their other son was called the N word in middle school multiple times and told his hair looked like pubic hair. The administration said they weren't going to do anything about it, since "by high school everyone has their own clicks anyway and they leave each other alone, so it is not a real problem". Of course he stopped being crazy about going to school, but they had to keep him motivated somehow since everyone knew if he slipped up in any way, he would be assumed to be dumb and special ed tracked. We talked to these kids about their heritage, tried to be good examples for them, made a point to hang around with the small amount of blacks that were around... but they spend most of their days around people who carry these thought in their heads and we couldn't shield them from all the effects.
You may not realize it but you are casually making something that is a very very tough choice between two horrible options into some kind of no-brainer. It is not. Raising your kid in that environment is not simple or easy, and can do real damage to the child, even if the people are "nice" and consider themselves not prejudiced.
Anyway, it is a false choice. There are other places to go besides small town America if you want a fresh start. And the black people who choose to start fresh will often go to those places over an all-white small town, for good reason.
Well, I am and always will be a African American Pan-Africanist in the tradition of W.E.B Dubois so I share your hopes for the success of Africa and Africans but sometimes you got to take members of the family to the woodshed in order to knock some sense into them.
I like some African cultures, I even used to speak Bamanankan and take African history courses at the university many years ago.
But I don't like those Pan-African and Afrocentrist approaches. Africa is much more diverse than Europe, and even Europeans don't feel they belong together just because they happen to live on the same continent and have similar skin colors. And in Africa that is even less the case, not even the different peoples within one country such as Nigeria want to be together.
Sometimes I feel like black people outside Africa long for and dream of some former African paradise they were expelled from, when in reality there never was. Some even claim ancient Egypt for black Africans, even though it is a ridiculous claim.
Frankly, most black people outside Africa (except Haiti) are actually fortunate they don't have to live in Africa, even if they don't realize it
I'm black, and I just moved away from rural Ohio. I am married and I have 2 school aged children.
My husband and I both grew up in primarily black middle/working class NYC environment. Our parents had jobs and provided a stable place to live. Nobody was in jail. We ate a warm meal every night. This was true of most of our friends, our neighbors, our families. Then we both went to college and met more black people who grew up like us. We go to family reunions every year and see more of the same. We have adult friends just like us, etc. We are not abnormal, the majority of black people live like we do.
I said all that to say that we could deal with the attitudes of people in rural/small town Ohio because we knew our reality had little to do with the visions in their heads. Even the ones who consider themselves not racist truly believed certain things. But it was okay because I lived the truth, so whatever. Plus we could pick and choose who we were surrounded with outside of work.
But my children are too young to know any better. While we were there, my daughter was told that her hair looked like snakes by other kids in the class (it was braided). One kid refused to touch her hair because it looked "ugly and hard". When they played pretend in class the other kids told her she couldn't be Belle (her favorite Disney Princess) because she was "black and besides, Belle likes to read so you can't be her" (My daughter is an avid reader and was always one of the smartest in class). My son thought every adult black male that he didn't already know was scary. My friends' (dad is a college professor in the sciences, mom is computer programmer) youngest son, who is quite bright just like his parents, came home and told them "I wish I was white so I could be smart". Their other son was called the N word in middle school multiple times and told his hair looked like pubic hair. The administration said they weren't going to do anything about it, since "by high school everyone has their own clicks anyway and they leave each other alone, so it is not a real problem". Of course he stopped being crazy about going to school, but they had to keep him motivated somehow since everyone knew if he slipped up in any way, he would be assumed to be dumb and special ed tracked. We talked to these kids about their heritage, tried to be good examples for them, made a point to hang around with the small amount of blacks that were around... but they spend most of their days around people who carry these thought in their heads and we couldn't shield them from all the effects.
You may not realize it but you are casually making something that is a very very tough choice between two horrible options into some kind of no-brainer. It is not. Raising your kid in that environment is not simple or easy, and can do real damage to the child, even if the people are "nice" and consider themselves not prejudiced.
Anyway, it is a false choice. There are other places to go besides small town America if you want a fresh start. And the black people who choose to start fresh will often go to those places over an all-white small town, for good reason.
Well, you may be over sensetive, kids make fun of other kids for all sorts of reasons and can be extremey cruel. I doubt many are making fun due to their race, they probabily don't even realize what they're doing is cruel. If you had a problem with this, you should have approached the parents of each individual child, since I doubt it was the whole class that made fun of them. I would still take this over raising my kids in the inner city ghetto, for many good reasons.
I'm black, and I just moved away from rural Ohio. I am married and I have 2 school aged children.
My husband and I both grew up in primarily black middle/working class NYC environment. Our parents had jobs and provided a stable place to live. Nobody was in jail. We ate a warm meal every night. This was true of most of our friends, our neighbors, our families. Then we both went to college and met more black people who grew up like us. We go to family reunions every year and see more of the same. We have adult friends just like us, etc. We are not abnormal, the majority of black people live like we do.
I said all that to say that we could deal with the attitudes of people in rural/small town Ohio because we knew our reality had little to do with the visions in their heads. Even the ones who consider themselves not racist truly believed certain things. But it was okay because I lived the truth, so whatever. Plus we could pick and choose who we were surrounded with outside of work.
But my children are too young to know any better. While we were there, my daughter was told that her hair looked like snakes by other kids in the class (it was braided). One kid refused to touch her hair because it looked "ugly and hard". When they played pretend in class the other kids told her she couldn't be Belle (her favorite Disney Princess) because she was "black and besides, Belle likes to read so you can't be her" (My daughter is an avid reader and was always one of the smartest in class). My son thought every adult black male that he didn't already know was scary. My friends' (dad is a college professor in the sciences, mom is computer programmer) youngest son, who is quite bright just like his parents, came home and told them "I wish I was white so I could be smart". Their other son was called the N word in middle school multiple times and told his hair looked like pubic hair. The administration said they weren't going to do anything about it, since "by high school everyone has their own clicks anyway and they leave each other alone, so it is not a real problem". Of course he stopped being crazy about going to school, but they had to keep him motivated somehow since everyone knew if he slipped up in any way, he would be assumed to be dumb and special ed tracked. We talked to these kids about their heritage, tried to be good examples for them, made a point to hang around with the small amount of blacks that were around... but they spend most of their days around people who carry these thought in their heads and we couldn't shield them from all the effects.
You may not realize it but you are casually making something that is a very very tough choice between two horrible options into some kind of no-brainer. It is not. Raising your kid in that environment is not simple or easy, and can do real damage to the child, even if the people are "nice" and consider themselves not prejudiced.
Anyway, it is a false choice. There are other places to go besides small town America if you want a fresh start. And the black people who choose to start fresh will often go to those places over an all-white small town, for good reason.
Gee, that sounds so mean. I wonder if those statements originated from the children themselves or if they only repeated what their parents and other grownups were saying.
Well, you may be over sensetive, kids make fun of other kids for all sorts of reasons and can be extremey cruel. I doubt many are making fun due to their race, they probabily don't even realize what they're doing is cruel. If you had a problem with this, you should have approached the parents of each individual child, since I doubt it was the whole class that made fun of them. I would still take this over raising my kids in the inner city ghetto, for many good reasons.
It doesn't matter what their intentions were, it doesn't matter if ALL the kids did it (I didn't say they all did anyway), what mattered was the effects. You end up with kids who think something is wrong with their hair and skin, that they are not as smart, feel isolated from their peers and end up trying to fit in anyway they know how, think other black people are criminals, etc. Of course, as parents, we had to work to counter that but it's not easy. I didn't even list half the stuff that happened while we were there. And yes, we did speak to some of the parents involved.
And this was a place where most people were nice, but they were also completely oblivious. They were not racists per se but they were not really trying to check themselves in any way. I mean really... kid gets called n*gger at school and his parents are "oversensitive"? The school isn't even trying to do anything, because of course the 4 black kids that have to deal with this are not worth upsetting the apple cart in their eyes. And frankly, it's part of the problem of being at these places. If there is any way to dismiss a complaint, it will happen. Meanwhile your child's psyche is suffering.
It is something to have to look your innocent child in the face and know that in some ways, they have no choice but to grow up fast if they are going to grow into a functional adult. They're just children, but they can't stay that way for long.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling
Gee, that sounds so mean. I wonder if those statements originated from the children themselves or if they only repeated what their parents and other grownups were saying.
Oh they get it from parents, friends, TV, some of that stuff is just in the air... they are just kids. I wasn't mad at the other kids. They didn't know any better.
Nobody wants to answer.....why are family values a bigger issue in black communities than all others?
If people realize that the issue is parenting.....and that being a parent starts with two individuals....than who is accountable?
Not that old wedlock crap again. In many countries where there were wars often entire generations grew up without fathers, still they turned out normal.
Stop abusing a complex issue in order to force your pseudo-christian ideals on everyone.
Not that old wedlock crap again. In many countries where there were wars often entire generations grew up without fathers, still they turned out normal.
Stop abusing a complex issue in order to force your pseudo-christian ideals on everyone.
I am a loving father and husband of three minority children and a wife.
Also, I am Agnostic. My children or wife will never be seen inside of a church or praying.
In fact, the black American population subscribes (and also prescribes) to the Christian culture heavily. So, why has the "psuedo-message" failed them?
Family values do not equate to religion. Your post was pretty fail.
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