Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And how do you know they chose it, as opposed to you just think they did? Unless you're in their mind I don't see how you can claim that, and yet claim I'm wrong.
Like you, I asked. Am I to disbelieve them? And I'm not claiming you're wrong; merely that your situation does not apply to all gays.
Quote:
Again, how do you know they weren't gay or bisexual to begin with? Maybe the woman was bisexual, but did not explore other women until men made her mad enough to stop trying to deal with them. You can't just claim that's a choice. If she still finds the look of men attractive, but doesn't want to deal with them, that doesn't mean she chose to be gay.
I think you are really overreaching on the meaning of "choose" in these cases.
Again, I asked (same as you). One woman in particular is "butch" and she finds men unattractive and vulgar now. She wouldn't go near a man for sexual purposes. Again, this is information I have from various conversations I've had with her. Should I call her a liar because she doesn't fit your mold?
If you have no authority beyond yourself, in life that you answer to morally, then this question is irrevelant. So being a free moral agent as all intelligent beings are, you need'nt seek anyone elses approval or permission for how you choose to live your life. However...
If you are someone who believes in God and would not want to displease him, your perspective would naturally be different from someone who lives and answers only to self. So when it comes to homosexuality, rather than just resolving to go along with whatever anyone says to rationalize, because it may seem cool or trendy, you think beyond that.
So what if you may be experiencing a variety of emotions or feel attracted to a member of the same sex? Does this automatically mean that you are gay? No. Especially if you are young, during the period in which you are subject to involuntary sexual arousal. So, at times, your attention may focus on a member of the same sex. But this doesnt mean that you are gay. In fact, statistics indicate that such inclinations usually fade in time. Whether homosexuality is rooted in the genes or it is a learned behavior, it would be a gross oversimplification to attribute it to a single cause. Like other forms of behavior, I believe it to be more complex than that. And that someone with same-sex desires who is a free moral agent, can either choose to or not to act on them. And yes, on occasion, the strongly entrenched desire may still present itself. But be assured, though, that even deeply rooted wrong desires are not insurmountable. Ultimately, you are in control of how you live. Not genes or advice from people who want you to be like them. Yes, despite claims to the contrary, you can learn to control your impulses—or at least refrain from acting on them.
*And please do not conclude that I imply that it is acceptable to dislike or mistreat another person based on their lifestyle. This was only an attempt to offer an objective viewpoint.
What you are saying is one can lie to themselves, pretend to be attracted to one you are not. Lie to that person too. You are basing all behavior on your moral values which are based on religious beliefs, those are personal beliefs and should not be used to judge all people. Not everyone is of the same religion or believe in god, so why should your bible/religion be used as a measuring staff for the entire populace? I chose to not lie to myself, my family and any potential person I fell in love with. Maybe I could have found some unfortunate woman, lied to her, my family, her family and any children we had. Hated myself, despised her and all just to meet the desires of those who should just mind their own P's and Q's. I witnessed one of my older brothers do that to two women, one tolerates him, one hates him and both sets of in laws want nothing to do with him. He now hates himself and has nothing to do with his own family. He has not even seen his own daughter in more than ten years. Now he goes to gay bars and picks up men for sex, but he still says he is mostly straight.
Yes, but how do you know that these are the means by which these gay men have sex with their wives? I hate to make this analogy, but if I was not a pedophile, I could not imagine Brad Pitt while having sex with a 6 year old boy.
I don't know what these men do to have sex with their wives. We could ask Marcus Bachmann but he probably won't answer. I could ask my co-worker, but I think that would be rather rude.
I don't think pedophilia is anyway analogous, because pedophilia is not a sexual orientation. Regressed pedophiles (those who have an adult orientation too) would be aroused to adults just like anyone else would.
Quote:
You say straight means: "exclusively or close to it attracted to the opposite sex." Again, you seem to suggest that heterosexuality is fluid. Do you apply this same definiton to homosexuality: ""exclusively or close to it attracted to the same sex."?
Sexuality is not always or usually black and white. In most people, there is some slight fluidity. It's astronomically rare for one to go from 100% straight to 100% gay or vice versa, however, sometimes one can go from 100% gay to 90% gay and 10% straight.
Kinsey (one of the leader researchers on human sexuality in the early 20th century) described it on a scale relating to predominant vs incidental attractions. 90% gay, 10% straight would be "predominately homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual".
Meaning, that person may experience a slight attraction to women, but they are overwhelmingly attracted to the same-sex, and therefore are likely to identify as gay.
Based on that scale I'm a 5. I can look at someone like Angelina Jolie and I think she's beautiful, sexy, etc. but seeing her naked would probably not get me aroused, nor would I likely have any interest in an emotional/romantic relationship. Brad Pitt naked on the other hand, would be quite easy to get aroused.
yep. we got pulled out of class in the 4th grade to decide. we also got to pick if we wanted regular or chocolate milk with our lunch for the rest of the school year.
If attraction=sexuality, then these people are bisexual. Gay men who find sex with women unappealing would not be able to achieve an erection to even commit the act.
FWIW, I think most people are bisexual to some degree. I don't think many fall under the "strictly straight" or "strictly gay" category. Given the right circumstances, I think most folks' sexuality is fluid.
I'm not attracted to women in the slightest. However, if you tied me down and had a women fellate me, I'd get hard and probably even orgasm. If I were able to work up an erection by fantasizing about sex with a man, I could probably penetrate a women and keep an erection (I imagine it feels good). I'm sure a lesbian heroin addict is capable of consenting to being penetrated by a man in return for drugs.
I know many gay men with biological children from previous marriages with women. If I'm to believe what they tell me, they were never, and still are not, attracted to women. Not a single one considers himself bisexual. They all say the sex was very lackluster, infrequent, and often just was a non-starter. Another thing they have in common is that all of their ex-wives at some point in the marriage realized they were married to a gay man.
When we are young and driven and sometimes over powered by the hormonal drug that is in all of us..we might consider anything that will grant relief from the life force - that force that is sex..I believe that some can make a choice on where they seek sexual satisfaction or relief...The difficult part that exists in modern western living is all is available - without restriction.. You can look at the different "orientations" and decide - which you consider superiour - which you consider the most pleasant - and which tips the scale if favour of a "choice" - Frankly I think that some young males are exposed to the path of least resistance..and are lazy - and do not want the responsiblity of having a relationship with the opposite sex...so they stay experimenting boys for ever and never grow up.
This theory of mine is speculative in part - but might just be true - For instance - I have seen situaltions where gay man are deeply in love with females - I just wish that people would not attempt classify people though so-called sexual orientation...As I always say - leave young people alone and let nature take it's course..They will be who they are - NOT what some special interest group or lobby insists they be.
So why are you responding to a question about it? Go away if you don't want to follow along.
And I think you are hypersensitive about gender, and making up false claims of pseudoscience to either back your political agenda, or to act as a salve for your own personal issues.
You WANT to believe that my heterosexuality was inborn, when in reality, I was just born with high testosterone levels. Those high testosterone levels, combined with other genetic traits (like testicles) made me genetically predisposed to like women. That genetic predisposition, along with other factors (like social norms) influenced the choice that is my heterosexuality. Prior to the choice, I was asexual; I did not have any active sexual thoughts or behavior for the early years of my life. I was not born with any coherent sexuality.
I don't know what causes homosexuals to be homosexuals. I don't know if they're born that way, or if they decide to be that way, or if you can even draw a clear distinction between these two modes of development. I don't really care, to be honest.. I was just answering the question someone else had.
You are so wrong on the idea of high testosterone equating to heterosexuality. I myself have High T and I am gay. How silly to think that straight men have high T and gay men have low T. I even had high testosterone in my youth, puberty started for me before the age of 12l , lost all my baby teeth by 10 and had to shave at 15, but had a mustache at 13. You do not speak for everyone, I had sexual thoughts as early as 6 years old, I did not have sex till I was almost 19 though. My early sexual or passionate thoughts were of males, not females. I have never felt a sexual attraction to females. Social pressures did not alter it for me and I grew up in a strongly catholic hispanic family. If you choice to be straight, then there was some sort of attraction to the same sex at some time to create a distinction. Otherwise having only females on your list means you had no other option than females.
Sorry, what I meant to say is that the straight person is considered "bi". Why is the gay person not also considered bi?
For the same reason a heterosexual person shouldn't be considered a "bi" by default. Are you a "bi"?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
