Divorce and Children: New Study Confirms Irreparable Harm (drug, lawyer, party)
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Why Christian marriage? What about all the other faiths and people who are agnostic or atheist?
I agree that the breakdown of the family unit has been a social disaster for many western societies. I just don't agree with throwing Christianity in there.
Also, children are equally as harmed by living in a situation where both parents are married, but the marriage is bad or even abusive.
This is SO right on. Children are much better off with one positive role model than two parents with constant tension between them.
This is SO right on. Children are much better off with one positive role model than two parents with constant tension between them.
"Tension" is a fact of life when you live with other people. It's hardly a reason for divorce. Marriage vows don't say "I'll stay with you as long as every day is a Disney vacation."
Most people get married for love, which is a mistake because love never lasts and is all too soon replaced with the drudgery of domestic life. Marital bliss becomes sacrificed to material obligation - mortgages, car payments and an endless series of bills - that takes all the joy out the relationship. Even the children end up being more burden than blessing. It all boils down to responsibility - financial responsibility - which is to say money, or the lack thereof - the debits and credits of a bankrupt estate.
Many marriages nowadays end in divorce. It is primarily because they are ill-fated from the start; like undercapitalized business ventures, they are bound to fail. How foolish people can be when they are in love. How stupidly they behave without a care for the consequences. Did they really think that they could live on love? How absurd. Where did their love go? How could two persons who loved one another so passionately end up hating each other? Is love and hate but two sides of the same emotion? And what is to be done with the detritus of a marriage foundered on the rocks? I don’t know. All I know is that the law is an inadequate remedy for people’s personal problems. Divorce is a losing proposition: the husband loses, the wife loses, and the children - the ones who ought to be entitled to two loving and responsible parents - they are the big losers. But how can you stop people from getting married, however improbable the proposal? You might as well try to stop the tide from coming in - it is an irresistible force. People ought to be required to prove their financial responsibility before the state issues them a license to marry; for surely, as the old saying goes: "When the money’s gone, love flies out the window."
Love lasts, but people marry out of infatuation which is why they can't make a go of it.
A lot of people aren't marrying any more - welfare handouts seems to be a pretty good way to get people to stop marrying and the government has become a better provider than a husband.
I do believe that divorce is too easy to get and there is not enough obloquy attached to seeking one, but it has to be there as a last-ditch measure for true cases of abuse.
Maybe it's too easy to have children and too easy to marry. I don't think abuse is the only reason for divorce, but I do think people marry without thinking it through logically and clearly. Maybe many lack maturity and that comes later in life with experience.
Maybe it's too easy to have children and too easy to marry. I don't think abuse is the only reason for divorce, but I do think people marry without thinking it through logically and clearly. Maybe many lack maturity and that comes later in life with experience.
Do you suggest a federal mandate on who can have children or get married?
Maybe it's too easy to have children and too easy to marry. I don't think abuse is the only reason for divorce, but I do think people marry without thinking it through logically and clearly. Maybe many lack maturity and that comes later in life with experience.
I don't think it's that. The people who don't get by age 18 that a marriage is more than a personal indulgence or convenience--that it is a public contract that has profound implications for other people, most importantly any children that are born to the union--probably won't ever get it.
"Tension" is a fact of life when you live with other people. It's hardly a reason for divorce. Marriage vows don't say "I'll stay with you as long as every day is a Disney vacation."
It certainly is a reason for divorce. People who find that they have diminished shared interests, are apathetic towards their lives together, cannot communicate, going through the movements of a life they are not engaged in, avoiding each other at home, mentally and emotionally disengaged from each other - it sure is a reason to divorce. People should never stay together if this is occurring, it is a horrible example to give children - an empty, vacant relationship.
No, my husband and I may have had a few bad moments, but they never lasted an entire day, and most, not even an hour. I cannot remember ever going to sleep without wishing each other a good night. It is possible, with maturity, to make a good choice in a spouse. Well, one think that helped, I think, is that we decided to have no kids.
Love lasts, but people marry out of infatuation which is why they can't make a go of it.
A lot of people aren't marrying any more - welfare handouts seems to be a pretty good way to get people to stop marrying and the government has become a better provider than a husband.
Love is too transient to be the basis for any lasting relationship; albeit that true love isbased on selflessness, the rarest of all virtues. For the rest of us lesser mortals, love is an emotion, nothing more; and while many would credit it more than its worth, as many have come to grief over it. How much better it would be if lovers could be good friends. A true friend is one for all seasons; one to share life’s joys and sorrows - in good times and in times of trouble - for all time. However, friendship takes work, both in finding it and keeping it. Love is but a passing fancy; friendship lasts. As Dr Goldsmith put it: "Marriage strips love of all its finery; and if friendship does not appear to supply its place, then there is an end of matrimonial felicity." Oliver Goldsmith, "A True History for the Ladies," The British Magazine (July 1760).
No two marriages are the same, no two kids are exactly the same and no divorces are the same. If a kid has parents that are intelligent and non abusive people, chances are that they will handle the divorce situation better and be better adjusted than kids that have parents that stick together while in an abusive or incompatible marriage which makes everyone around them miserable.
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